The sound twisted in my chest, as I tried to understand. Did he think it was funny, that I'd actually fallen in love with him?
"Jenna," he said, still smiling. "Jenna. How much more clearly can I telegraph this for you? I brought you here. I carved a heart around our names. What do you want me to do, rent a sky-writing plane? 'Cause I will. If that's what it takes, I'll do it right now." He feigned reaching into his pocket. "I know a guy."
"I'm sure you do," I hiccuped, staring at him. "Ben, I...I don't know. I'm never sure if it's real, when you act like..."
When you act like you love me.
He was still laughing. "Jenna." He leaned forward, capturing my face in his hands. "I love you. I loved you the first time you shot me that fuck-you glance at the grocery store, although I didn't know it back then. I've been falling more in love with you every damn day. Have you really not noticed?"
I stared at him. "Was this whole thing just a ploy?" I demanded. "A convenient excuse to get close to me?"
I wasn't sure how I'd feel if it was. I mean, we were here now, weren't we? I was in love with him, wasn't I?
Now that I could admit it to myself, I didn't even have to frame it as a question. There was no doubt. I loved him more than I'd ever thought possible, every ridiculous line and every lopsided smile. I loved him because he didn't give a shit, because he'd punch a highly-respected member of the fetish community right in the face for disrespecting me. I loved him because he knew exactly how to touch, how to kiss, how to ignite. I'd never thought I would feel the way he made me feel.
When it came to him, I was helpless. There was no resistance, no hesitation. Just the slow fire creeping through my veins, lighting me up inside. He didn't just touch me, he worshipped me.
Of course he loved me back. How could I have missed it? He'd been telling me all along, with every whisper of his fingers against my skin. His lips, his tongue, every part of his body had betrayed him - if only I'd been paying attention.
"It wasn't a ploy." He looked offended. "I didn't know. I didn't know, until we were sitting by the water at that restaurant in wine country, and I looked at you and I realized..." His face softened. "I wanted this forever. I wanted it to be real. And when I saw you walking down the aisle in that white dress, it felt real. I knew it was real, at least for me. And I was so glad I'd arranged this - I needed a way to show you, something you wouldn't be able to ignore."
My heartbeat was thudding so loudly in my ears I couldn't even hear myself think.
Ben was smiling. "But apparently, you needed a little more clarification. So there it is. Should I go ahead and hire that skywriter?"
I swallowed, hard. "Maybe later," I said, hearing my voice go husky and feeling utterly powerless to do anything about it.
"Thank God," he breathed, pitching forward to crash his lips against mine. I squealed, then sighed - or would have, if his mouth wasn't devouring mine. He pushed me down into the ground with the weight of his body, his hips pinning mine, the hot, hard length of his arousal impossible to ignore.
"I'm a patient man, Mrs. Chase," he murmured, pulling away just long enough to let me catch my breath. "But even I have my limits."
Mrs. Chase. The full realization jolted through me, and suddenly I couldn't get him out of his clothes fast enough. This wasn't just for a few years, not just for long enough to convince the world, to fulfill an obligation. It was forever. He wanted it. He wanted me. Not just for tonight - forever.
He laughed softly as I tore at the buttons of his shirt, capturing my wrists and holding them tight. "Not yet," he murmured. "Turn over, sweetheart."
I couldn't help the little breathy mewl that came out of my throat. "Is this a good girl spanking?" I whispered, wriggling amongst the twigs and leaves as he pulled up my dress.
"Have you been good?" His hand caressed my bottom lightly, bringing out the goosebumps.
"Yes," I practically moaned, anticipating his first gentle swat.
He was pretending to consider this, his fingers tracing the edges of that lacy dark blue thong. "These don't look like good girl panties."
"I'll be so good," I whispered. "Please."
"That's not how this works." He gripped a handful of soft flesh, squeezing just tightly enough to make me moan again. "You don't get to make withdrawals based on promises of future behavior. The question is, have you been good?"
I nodded, momentarily forgetting how to make words come out of my mouth.
"Hmm." He let go his bruising grip, then stroked gently again. "I suppose I can overlook a few minor transgressions. Just this once. For our wedding night."
And with that, the ritual began. He warmed me up, just the way I wanted, just the way I needed. Until I was molten, until I whimpered and begged. Finally, he grabbed my hips and lifted me up, just holding me against him for a moment. The fabric of his pants, tented by his erection, rasped against my sensitive flesh.
"I know this is our first time as husband and wife," he whispered, pressing himself harder against me. "I know it's supposed to be missionary position with candles and scented bubble bath, but God..." He sighed. "I want you like this. Is that terrible, sunshine? Taking my new bride like an animal in the woods?"
If it was terrible, then I was terrible too. Far from wrong, it felt right, so perfectly intimate even if it meant I couldn't see his face. I didn't need to. His body told me everything I wanted to know.
Clutching the moss and leaves underneath me, I ground against him. Hoping he would understand, because I didn't know what to say. I'd forgotten how to do anything but need.
With a soft growl, he pulled away just enough to unzip and slide himself against my entrance. Teasing, just a little, but not too much. He was desperate too, but he knew every little enticing touch, every moment he denied me, just dialed my pleasure a little higher. It was for me. It was all for me.
He cursed softly as he finally sank inside, so deep, ripping a groan from deep in my chest. "Aaah. Sunshine, you feel so good. I love you like this." He picked up a steady rhythm, his little sighs and groans punctuating each word as he spoke. "I love seeing my marks bloom on your pretty little ass while I claim you. Make you mine again. So many different ways to do it, and I never get tired of any of them."
I could hear the smile on his lips, now. "And I like it when you do this." He spanked me, lightly, and my whole body clenched. With a little, laughing groan, he smacked me again. "Fuck yeah. But I have to be careful with that if I want to last."