She had to remind herself that she was a big girl. She had gone into the encounter with her eyes wide open, knowing it was nothing more than one night.
Then why does this hurt so damn much?
Sliding quietly out of bed, Kara opened one of the drawers of her dresser and slipped into a nightgown before returning to her bed. She drew the covers tightly around her as her body quaked. Simon had been so hot, so warm. Now all she felt was cold and empty.
Pushing aside his rejection and her hurt feelings, Kara tried to reason out the situation. Regardless of what he felt for her, Simon had some issues. The restraints, the blindfold, not wanting her to see him when they had sex. Maybe he liked a little kink - she had certainly discovered that she liked it - but something more was going on in his head.
Something deeper.
Something darker.
He’d never had a girlfriend? That, in itself, was strange. He certainly didn’t lack sexual prowess. He was incredibly rich and as handsome as sin. Why had he never had a long term relationship?
Kara rolled to her back, her mind racing. Simon’s problems were really none of her business and she doubted if he would appreciate her poking her nose into his life. But she wanted to help him. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t care for her. He’d been nothing but generous and kind. If she could help him, maybe he could fall in love and have a relationship with a woman he could love some day.
Her gut twisted and her chest squeezed tight at the thought, but she tried to ignore it. Simon deserved to be happy. She needed to be a friend and try to get to the bottom of his issues.
You want to be more than his friend, and you know it.
“Shut the hell up,” she whispered furiously to the dark room, flopping onto her stomach and pulling a pillow over her head, as though her actions would silence her treacherous thoughts.
It didn’t. And it took Kara quite some time to finally fall into a troubled, restless sleep that brought disturbing dreams of a handsome, dark-haired, dark-eyed man with an expression filled with anguish and misery, trying to fight demons that he couldn’t truly see. In the dream, Kara was an observer, trying desperately to reach the man in agony, holding her hand out to him, begging him to latch onto her, let her help him. He started to slowly lift one hand, still stabbing at the dark with other, trying to vanquish the clawing, dark shadows that threatened him. Finally, his hand met hers, his grip firm and she tugged with every ounce of strength she had, trying to bring him to her.
In the end, she couldn’t. The man yanked her into the darkness and she let out a terrified, blood-curdling scream as he pulled her to him, taking her into a deep, dark, whirling vortex.
He fell, and she went with him, knowing neither of them would ever escape.