Until well into her teens, Odrade adjusted by daydreaming. She would really return after she was a full Reverend Mother. She would go back and find that loving woman, find her even though she had no names except "mama" and "Sibia." Odrade recalled the laughter of adult friends who had called the woman "Sibia."
Mama Sibia.
The Sisters, however, detected the daydreams and searched out their source. That, too, was incorporated into a lesson.
"Daydreaming is the first awakening of what we call simulflow. It is an essential tool of rational thought. With it you can clear the mind for better thinking."
Simulflow.
Odrade focused on Taraza at the morning room table. Childhood trauma must be placed carefully into a reconstructed memory-place. All of that had been far away on Gammu, the planet that the people of Dan had rebuilt after the Famine Times and the Scattering. The people of Dan - Caladan in those days. Odrade took a firm grip on rational thought, using the stance of the Other Memories that had flooded into her awareness during the spice agony when she had really become a full Reverend Mother.
Simulflow... the filter of consciousness... Other Memories.
What powerful tools the Sisterhood had given her. What dangerous tools. All of those other lives lay there just beyond the curtain of awareness, tools of survival, not a way to satisfy casual curiosity.
Taraza spoke, translating from the material that scrolled past her eyes: "You dig too much in your Other Memories. That drains away energies better conserved."
The Mother Superior's blue-in-blue eyes sent a piercing stare upward at Odrade. "You sometimes go right to the edge of fleshly tolerance. That can lead to your premature death."
"I am careful with the spice, Mother."
"And well you should be! A body can take only so much melange, only so much prowling in its past!"
"Have you found my flaw?" Odrade asked.
"Gammu!" One word but an entire harangue.
Odrade knew. The unavoidable trauma of those lost years on Gammu. They were a distraction that had to be rooted out and made rationally acceptable.
"But I am sent to Rakis," Odrade said.
"And see that you remember the aphorisms of moderation. Remember who you are!"
Once more, Taraza bent to her display.
I am Odrade, Odrade thought.
In the Bene Gesserit schools where first names tended to slip away, roll call was by last name. Friends and acquaintances picked up the habit of using the roll-call name. They learned early that sharing secret or private names was an ancient device for ensnaring a person in affections.
Taraza, three classes ahead of Odrade, had been assigned to "bring the younger girl along," a deliberate association by watchful teachers.
Chapter Two
"Bringing along" meant a certain amount of lording it over the younger but also incorporated essentials better taught by someone closer to peer relationship. Taraza, with access to the private records of her trainee, started calling the younger girl "Dar." Odrade responded by calling Taraza "Tar." The two names acquired a certain glue - Dar and Tar. Even after Reverend Mothers overheard and reprimanded them, they occasionally lapsed into error if only for the amusement.
Odrade, looking down at Taraza now, said: "Dar and Tar."
A smile twitched the edges of Taraza's mouth.
"What is it in my records that you don't already know several times over?" Odrade asked.
Taraza sat back and waited for the chairdog to adjust itself to the new position. She rested her clasped hands on the tabletop and looked up at the younger woman.
Not much younger, really, Taraza thought.
Since school, though, Taraza had thought of Odrade as completely removed into a younger age group, creating a gap no passage of years could close.
"Care at the beginning, Dar," Taraza said.
"This project is well past its beginning," Odrade said.
"But your part in it starts now. And we are launching ourselves into such a beginning as has never before been attempted."
"Am I now to learn the entire design for this ghola?"
"No."
That was it. All the evidence of high-level dispute and the "need to know" cast away with a single word. But Odrade understood. There was an organizational rubric laid down by the original Bene Gesserit Chapter House, which had endured with only minor changes for millennia. Bene Gesserit divisions were cut by hard vertical and horizontal barriers, divided into isolated groups that converged to a single command only here at the top. Duties (for which read "assigned roles") were conducted within separated cells. Active participants within a cell did not know their contemporaries within other parallel cells.
But I know that the Reverend Mother Lucilla is in a parallel cell, Odrade thought. It's the logical answer.
She recognized the necessity. It was an ancient design copied from secret revolutionary societies. The Bene Gesserit had always seen themselves as permanent revolutionaries. It was a revolution that had been dampened only in the time of the Tyrant, Leto II.
Dampened, but not diverted or stopped, Odrade reminded herself.
"In what you're about to do," Taraza said, "tell me if you sense any immediate threat to the Sisterhood."
It was one of Taraza's peculiar demands, which Odrade had learned to answer out of wordless instinct, which then could be formed into words. Quickly, she said: "If we fail to act, that is worse."
"We reasoned that there would be danger," Taraza said. She spoke in a dry, remote voice. Taraza did not like calling up this talent in Odrade. The younger woman possessed a prescient instinct for detecting threats to the Sisterhood. It came from the wild influence in her genetic line, of course - the Atreides with their dangerous talents. There was a special mark on Odrade's breeding file: "Careful examination of all offspring." Two of those offspring had been quietly put to death.