And there was nothing I could do about it. Not now.
I wondered how Mae was, and whether they had hurt her. I wondered if she was still alive. I felt detached, indifferent. I was sitting in an oversized MRI, that was all. This big terrifying sound, it must have been how Amanda felt, when she was in the MRI ... My mind drifted, uncaring.
"Ten seconds," Ricky said. "Come on, Jack. Don't be a hero. It's not your style. Tell us where it is. Six seconds. Five. Jack, come on ..."
The chunk-chunk-chunk stopped, and there was a whang! and a scream of rending metal. The magnet had switched on, for a few milliseconds.
"First pulse," Ricky said. "Don't be an asshole, Jack."
Another whang! Whang! Whang! The pulses were coming faster and faster. I saw the jacketing on the coolant beginning to indent with each pulse. They were coming too fast. Whang! Whang!
I couldn't take it anymore. I shouted, "Okay! Ricky! I'll tell you!"
Whang! "Go ahead, Jack!" Whang! "I'm waiting."
"No! Turn it off first. And I only tell Julia."
Whang! Whang! "Very unreasonable of you, Jack. You're in no position to bargain." Whang!
"You want the virus, or you want it to be a surprise?"
Whang! Whang! Whang!
And then abruptly, silence. Nothing but the low swoosh of the coolant flowing through the jacketing. The magnet was hot to the touch. But at least the MRI sound had stopped. The MRI ...
I stood in the room, and waited for Julia to come in. And then, thinking it over, I sat down.
I heard the door unlock. Julia walked in.
"Jack. You're not hurt, are you?"
"No," I said. "Just my nerves are shot."
"I don't know why you put yourself through it," she said. "It was totally unnecessary. But guess what? I have good news. The helicopter just arrived."
"It did?"
"Yes, it's early today. Just think, wouldn't it be nice to be on it now, going home? Back to your house, back to your family? Wouldn't that feel great?"
I sat there with my back against the wall, looking up at her. "Are you saying I can go?"
"Of course, Jack. There's no reason for you to stay here. Just give me the bottle of virus, and go home."
I didn't believe her for a second. I was seeing the friendly Julia, the seductive Julia. But I didn't believe her. "Where is Mae?"
"She's resting."
"You've hurt her."
"No. No, no, no. Why would I do that?" She shook her head. "You really don't understand, do you? I don't want to hurt anybody, Jack. Not you, not Mae, not anybody. I especially don't want to hurt you."
"Try telling that to Ricky."
"Jack. Please. Let's put emotion aside and be logical for a moment. You're doing all this to yourself. Why can't you accept the new situation?" She held out her hand to me. I took it, and she pulled me up. She was strong. Stronger than I ever remembered her being. "After all," she said, "you're an integral part of this. You killed the wild type for us, Jack."
"So the benign type could flourish ..."
"Exactly, Jack. So the benign type could flourish. And create a new synergy with human beings."
"The synergy that you have now, for example."
"That's right, Jack." She smiled. It was a creepy smile.
"You are, what? Coexisting? Coevolving?"
"Symbiotic." She was still smiling.
"Julia, this is all bullshit," I said. "This is a disease."
"Well of course you would say that. Because you don't know any better, yet. You haven't experienced it." She came forward and hugged me. I let her do it. "You have no idea what's ahead of you."
"Story of my life," I said.
"Stop being so stubborn, for once. Just go along with it. You look tired, Jack." I sighed. "I am tired," I said. And I was. I was feeling distinctly weak in her arms. I was sure she could sense it.
"Then why don't you just relax. Embrace me, Jack."
"I don't know. Maybe you're right."
"Yes, I am." She smiled again, ruffled my hair with her hand. "Oh, Jack ... I really have missed you."
"Me too," I said. "I missed you." I gave her a hug, squeezed her, held her close. Our faces were close. She looked beautiful, her lips parted, her eyes staring up at me, soft, inviting. I felt her relax. Then I said, "Just tell me one thing, Julia. It's been bothering me."
"Sure, Jack."
"Why did you refuse to have an MRI in the hospital?"
She frowned, leaned back to look at me. "What? What do you mean?"
"Are you like Amanda?"
"Amanda?"
"Our baby daughter ... you remember her. She was cured by the MRI. Instantly."
"What are you talking about?"
"Julia, does the swarm have some problem with magnetic fields?"
Her eyes widened. She began to struggle in my grip. "Let go of me! Ricky! Ricky!"
"Sorry, hon," I said. I kicked the plate with my knee. And there was a loud whang! as the magnet pulsed.
Julia screamed.
Her mouth was open as she screamed, a steady continuous sound, her face rigid with tension. I held her hard. The skin of her face began to shiver, vibrating rapidly. And then her features seemed to grow, to swell as she screamed. I thought her eyes looked frightened. The swelling continued, and began to break up into rivulets, and streams. And then in a sudden rush Julia literally disintegrated before my eyes. The skin of her swollen face and body blew away from her in streams of particles, like sand blown off a sand dune. The particles curved away in the arc of the magnetic field toward the sides of the room. I felt her body growing lighter and lighter in my arms. Still the particles continued to flow away, with a kind of whooshing sound, to all corners of the room. And when it was finished, what was left behind-what I still held in my arms-was a pale and cadaverous form. Julia's eyes were sunk deep in her cheeks. Her mouth was thin and cracked, her skin translucent. Her hair was colorless, brittle. Her collarbones protruded from her bony neck. She looked like she was dying of cancer. Her mouth worked. I heard faint words, hardly more than breathing. I leaned in, turned my ear to her mouth to hear.