"To be converted is to be turned around," Paul said. "But there's no going back."
"Every man carries his own past with him," Hayt said.
"And every ghola?" Paul asked.
"In a way, m'Lord."
"Then what of that past in your secret flesh?" Paul asked.
Chani saw how the question disturbed the ghola. His movements quickened, hands clenched into fists. She glanced at Paul, wondering why he probed thus. Was there a way to restore this creature to the man he'd been?
"Has a ghola ever remembered his real past?" Chani asked.
"Many attempts have been made," Hayt said, his gaze fixed on the floor near his feet. "No ghola has ever been restored to his former being."
"But you long for this to happen," Paul said.
The blank surfaces of the ghola's eyes came up to center on Paul with a pressing intensity. "Yes!"
Voice soft, Paul said: "If there's a way..."
"This flesh," Hayt said, touching left hand to forehead in a curious saluting movement, "is not the flesh of my original birth. It is... reborn. Only the shape is familiar. A Face Dancer might do as well."
"Not as well," Paul said. "And you're not a Face Dancer."
"That is true, m'Lord."
"Whence comes your shape?"
"The genetic imprint of the original cells."
"Somewhere," Paul said, "there's a plastic something which remembers the shape of Duncan Idaho. It's said the ancients probed this region before the Butlerian Jihad. What's the extent of this memory, Hayt? What did it learn from the original?"
The ghola shrugged.
"What if he wasn't Idaho?" Chani asked.
"He was."
"Can you be certain?" she asked.
"He is Duncan in every aspect. I cannot imagine a force strong enough to hold that shape thus without any relaxation or any deviation."
"M'Lord!" Hayt objected. "Because we cannot imagine a thing, that doesn't exclude it from reality. There are things I must do as a ghola that I would not do as a man."
Keeping his attention on Chani, Paul said: "You see?" She nodded.
Paul turned away, fighting deep sadness. He crossed to the balcony windows, drew the draperies. Lights came on in the sudden gloom. He pulled the sash of his robe tight, listened for sounds behind him.
Nothing.
He turned. Chani stood as though entranced, her gaze centered on the ghola.
Hayt, Paul saw, had retreated to some inner chamber of his being - had gone back to the ghola place.
Chani turned at the sound of Paul's return. She still felt the thralldom of the instant Paul had precipitated. For a brief moment, the ghola had been an intense, vital human being. For that moment, he had been someone she did not fear - indeed, someone she liked and admired. Now, she understood Paul's purpose in this probing. He had wanted her to see the man in the ghola flesh.
She stared at Paul. "That man, was that Duncan Idaho?"
"That was Duncan Idaho. He is still there."
"Would he have allowed Irulan to go on living?" Chani asked.
The water didn't sink too deep, Paul thought. And he said: "If I commanded it."
"I don't understand," she said. "Shouldn't you be angry?"
"I am angry."
"You don't sound... angry. You sound sorrowful."
He closed his eyes. "Yes. That, too."
Chapter Fifteen
"You're my man," she said. "I know this, but suddenly I don't understand you."
Abruptly, Paul felt that he walked down a long cavern. His flesh moved - one foot and then another - but his thoughts went elsewhere. "I don't understand myself," he whispered. When he opened his eyes, he found that he had moved away from Chani.
She spoke from somewhere behind him. "Beloved, I'll not ask again what you've seen. I only know I'm to give you the heir we want."
He nodded, then: "I've known that from the beginning." He turned, studied her. Chani seemed very far away.
She drew herself up, placed a hand on her abdomen. "I'm hungry. The medics tell me I must eat three or four times what I ate before. I'm frightened, beloved. It goes too fast."
Too fast, he agreed. This fetus knows the necessity for speed.
= = = = = =
The audacious nature of Muad'dib's actions may be seen in the fact that He knew from the beginning whither He was bound, yet not once did He step aside from that path. He put it clearly when He said: "I tell you that I come now to my time of testing when it will be shown that I am the Ultimate Servant." Thus He weaves all into One, that both friend and foe may worship Him. It is for this reason and this reason only that His Apostles prayed: "Lord, save us from the other paths which Muad'dib covered with the Waters of His Life. " Those "other paths" may be imagined only with the deepest revulsion. -from The Yiam-el-Din (Book of Judgment)
The messenger was a young woman - her face, name and family known to Chani - which was how she'd penetrated Imperial Security.
Chani had done no more than identify her for a Security Officer named Bannerjee, who then arranged the meeting with Muad'dib. Bannerjee acted out of instinct and the assurance that the young woman's father had been a member of the Emperor's Death Commandos, the dreaded Fedaykin, in the days before the Jihad. Otherwise, he might have ignored her plea that her message was intended only for the ears of Muad'dib.
She was, of course, screened and searched before the meeting in Paul's private office. Even so, Bannerjee accompanied her, hand on knife, other hand on her arm.
It was almost midday when they brought her into the room - an odd space, mixture of desert-Fremen and Family-Aristocrat. Hiereg hangings lined three walls: delicate tapestries adorned with figures out of Fremen mythology. A view screen covered the fourth wall, a silver-gray surface behind an oval desk whose top held only one object, a Fremen sandclock built into an orrery. The orrery, a suspensor mechanism from lx, carried both moons of Arrakis in the classic Worm Trine aligned with the sun.