The audience sat silent. Stunned. Finally one of them said, "You call itwhat ?"
"The conventional gene."
"Jesus, that's terrible!"
"Suicide."
"Forget it."
"Or," the professor said quickly, "we call it the civilizing gene."
Groans in the room. "Thecivilizing gene? That's worse! Worse!"
"Horrible."
"Argh!"
"Jump off a bridge!"
The professor looked nonplussed. "What's wrong with that name? Civilization is a good thing, isn't it?"
"Of course," said the team leader, coming forward from the back. Paul Gode stepped up to the lectern. "The only trouble is, nobody in this country wants to think of themselves as joiners or civilizers. Just the opposite - we're all rugged individualists. We're all rebels. We're antiestablishment. We stand out, we strike out, we do our own thing, go our own way. The herd of independent minds, somebody called it. Nobody wants to feel they'renot a rebel. Nobody wants to admit that they just want to fit in."
"But in truth, everybodydoes want to fit in," the professor said. "At least, almost everybody. About ninety-two percent of people have the conventional-wisdom gene. The real rebels lack it, and they are - "
"Stop right there," the team leader said, holding up his hand. "Just stop. You want to make your gene valuable. That means your gene creates something peoplewant to possess - something exciting and desirable. Conventional wisdom is not exciting or desirable. It's mundane. It's buttered toast with grape jelly. That's what the group is telling you." He gestured to a chair. "You might want to take a seat, professor."
Gode turned to the group, which now looked slightly more alert. "All right. People? BlackBerrys away. Let's hear it."
"How about the smart gene?" someone said.
"Good, but inaccurate."
"Simplicity gene."
"Good direction..."
"Social gene."
"Oversell."
"Socializing gene."
"Therapeutic."
"Wisdom gene. Wise gene."
"Wise gene. Good, very good."
"Right-thinking gene."
"Too Maoist. Or Buddhist. Come on, wake up here!"
"Party gene."
"Fun gene."
"Stone-washed genes. Hip-hugger genes."
"Happy gene."
"Live-it-up gene."
Gode was frowning, and held up his hand again. "Redirect," he said. "Back up. Rewind. Rethink. What's our problem? This gene is really the gene for conventional wisdom - the conventional-wisdom gene - but we don't want to say that. So. What'sgood about conventional wisdom? What does embracing conventional wisdom do for a person? Quickly, now."
"Makes you belong."
"You don't stand out."
"You think like everybody else."
"Reduces friction."
"You fit in."
"Means you read theTimes. "
"Nobody looks at you funny."
"Makes your life simpler."
"No arguments."
"Feel safe expressing an opinion."
"Everybody agrees with you."
"You're a good person."
"You feel good."
"Makes you comfortable."
Gode snapped his fingers and pointed. "Good. Conventional thinking makes uscomfortable ...Yes! No surprises, no distress. In the world out there, everything is constantly changing, every minute. It's not a comfortable place. And everybody wants to feel comfortable, right? Old pair of shoes, comfortable sweats, favorite chair..."
"Comfortable gene?"
"Comfy gene."
"Comfort gene. The comfort gene."
"Warm and fuzzy gene. Warm gene?"
"Happy gene."
"Friendly gene? Easy gene?"
"Soothing gene. Smooth gene."
"Calm gene. Balm gene."
This went on for a while, until finally there were nine candidates scrawled on the whiteboard. A furious argument ensued as names were deleted, though of course all the names would be concept-tested with focus groups. In the end, everybody agreed the winner would be the comfort gene.
"Let's test itin the field," Gode said. "Professor? Tell us: Where is this gene going, commercially?"
It was too early to say, the professor explained. They had isolated the gene, but they didn't yet know the full range of diseases associated with it. However, since nearly everybody in the world carried the comfort gene, they believed that many people probably suffered from genetic anomalies involving the gene. For example: People who were overly desirous of joining the majority - that might prove to be a genetic disorder. And people who felt depressed when they were alone, by themselves - conceivably, another disorder. People who joined protest marches, went to sports games, who sought out situations where they would be surrounded by lots of like-minded people - a potential genetic disorder. Then there were people who felt obliged to agree with whomever they were with, no matter what was said - yet another disorder. And what about people who were afraid to think for themselves? Fear of independence from the surrounding group?
"Let's face it, that's a lot of people," the professor said. "Nobody thinks for themselves if they can help it."
"You mean all this behavior is going to be considered pathological?" someone asked.
"Any compulsive behavior is pathological," the professor answered.
"But positive behavior? Protest marches?"
"Our position," the professor said, "is that we are on the verge of identifying a range of disease states all related to sociability." These genetic anomalies involving the comfort gene had not yet been definitively established, but Columbia University had applied for a patent on the gene itself, meaning that the gene would have increasing value as disorders involving it were identified with certainty.