He handed me the box, like it was a sacred burden. I took it and put it under my arm. It felt about halfway between light and heavy. I guessed there was a book in there. Maybe an old leather-bound diary. Some other stuff too.
"Joe," I said. "Let's go get breakfast."
We walked fast and aimlessly. We turned into the Rue St.-Dominique and passed by two cafes at the top of the Rue de l'Exposition without stopping. We crossed the Avenue Bosquet against the light and then we made an arbitrary left into the Rue Jean Nicot. Joe stopped at a tabac and bought cigarettes. I would have smiled if I had been able to. The street was named after the guy who discovered nicotine.
We lit up together on the sidewalk and then ducked into the first cafe we saw. We were all done walking. We were ready for the talking.
"You shouldn't have waited for me," Joe said. "You could have seen her one last time."
"I felt it happen," I said. "Midnight last night, something hit me."
"You could have been with her."
"Too late now."
"It would have been OK with me."
"It wouldn't have been OK with her."
"We should have stayed a week ago."
"She didn't want us to stay, Joe. That wasn't in her plan. She was her own person, entitled to her privacy. She was a mother, but that wasn't all she was."
He went quiet. The waiter brought us coffee and a small straw basket full of croissants. He seemed to sense the mood. He put them down gently and backed away.
"Will you see to the funeral?" I said.
Joe nodded. "I'll make it four days from now. Can you stay?"
"No," I said. "But I'll get back."
"OK," he said. "I'll stay a week or so. I guess I'll need to find her will. We'll probably have to sell her place. Unless you want it?"
I shook my head. "I don't want it. You?"
"I don't see how I could use it."
"It wouldn't have been right for me to go on my own," I said.
Joe said nothing.
"We saw her last week," I said. "We were all together. It was a good time."
"You think?"
"We had fun. That's the way she wanted it. That's why she made the effort. That's why she asked to go to Polidor. It wasn't like she ate anything."
He just shrugged. We drank our coffee in silence. I tried a croissant. It was OK, but I had no appetite. I put it back in the basket.
"Life," Joe said. "What a completely weird thing it is. A person lives sixty years, does all kinds of things, knows all kinds of things, feels all kinds of things, and then it's over. Like it never happened at all."
"We'll always remember her."
"No, we'll remember parts of her. The parts she chose to share. The tip of the iceberg. The rest, only she knew about. Therefore the rest already doesn't exist. As of now."
We smoked another cigarette each and sat quiet. Then we walked back, slowly, side by side, a little burned out, at some kind of peace.
The coffin was in the corbillard when we got back to her building. They must have stood it upright in the elevator. The concierge was out on the sidewalk, standing next to the old man with the medal ribbon. He was leaning on his walking sticks. The nurse was there too, standing on her own. The pallbearers had their hands clasped in front of them. They were looking down at the ground.
"They're taking her to the depôt mortuaire," the nurse said.
The funeral parlor.
"OK," Joe said.
I didn't stay. I said good-bye to the nurse and the concierge and shook hands with the old guy. Then I nodded to Joe and set off walking up the avenue. I didn't look back. I crossed the Seine at the Pont de l'Alma and walked up the Avenue George V to the hotel. I went up in the elevator and back to my room. I still had the old guy's box under my arm. I dropped it on the bed and stood still, completely unsure about what to do next.
I was still standing there twenty minutes later when the phone rang. It was Calvin Franz, calling from Fort Irwin in California. He had to say his name twice. The first time, I couldn't recall who he was.
"I spoke to Marshall," he said.
"Who?"
"Your XII Corps guy."
I said nothing.
"You OK?"
"Sorry," I said. "I'm fine. You spoke to Marshall."
"He went to Kramer's funeral. He drove Vassell and Coomer there and back. Then he claims he didn't drive them the rest of the day because he had important Pentagon meetings all afternoon."
"But?"
"I didn't believe him. He's a gofer. If Vassell and Coomer had wanted him to drive, he'd have been driving, meetings or no meetings."
"And?"
"And knowing what kind of a hard time you would give me if I didn't check, I checked."
"And?"
"Those meetings must have been with himself in the toilet stall, because nobody else saw him around."
"So what was he doing instead?"
"No idea. But he was doing something, that's for sure. The way he answered me was just way too smooth. I mean, this all was six days ago. Who the hell remembers what meetings they had six days ago? But this guy claims to."
"You tell him I was in Germany?"
"He seemed to know already."
"You tell him I was staying there?"
"He seemed to take it for granted you weren't heading for California anytime soon."
"These guys are old buddies with Willard," I said. "He's promised them he'll keep me away from them. He's running the 110th like it's Armored's private army."
"I checked those histories myself, by the way. For Vassell and Coomer, because you got me curious. There's nothing there to suggest either one of them ever heard of any place called Sperryville, Virginia."
"Are you sure?"
"Completely. Vassell is from Mississippi and Coomer is from Illinois. Neither of them has ever lived or served anywhere near Sperryville."
I was quiet for a second.
"Are they married?" I said.
"Married?" Franz said. "Yes, there were wives and kids in there. But they were local girls. No in-laws in Sperryville."
"OK," I said.
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'm coming to California."
I put the phone down and walked along the corridor to Summer's door. I knocked and waited. She opened up. She was back from sightseeing.
"She died last night," I said.
"I know," Summer said. "Your brother just called me from the apartment. He wanted me to make sure you were OK."
"I'm OK," I said.
"I'm very sorry."
I shrugged. "Conceptually these things don't come as a surprise."
"When was it?"
"Midnight. She just gave up."
"I feel bad. You should have gone to see her yesterday. You shouldn't have spent the day with me. We shouldn't have done all that ridiculous shopping."
"I saw her last week. We had fun. Better that last week was the last time."
"I would have wanted whatever extra time I could have gotten."
"It was always going to be an arbitrary date," I said. "I could have gone yesterday, in the afternoon, maybe. Now I'd be wishing I had stayed for the evening. If I had stayed for the evening, I'd be wishing I had stayed until midnight."
"You were in here with me at midnight. I feel bad about that too."
"Don't," I said. "I don't feel bad about it. My mother wouldn't either. She was French, after all. If she'd known those were my options, she'd have insisted."