Aden’s eyes went to where Jojo was now sitting up in the lap of the boy who had the same eyes and skin as the little girl, her paws on the tabletop and her ears pricked as she listened to the conversation around her. The teenager had one hand on her back, steadying her, while with his other, he was spooning up cereal, his eyes turned in the direction of another boy with whom he was holding a conversation.
“Look at her,” Aden said in that quiet tone that always brought people to attention. “She’s happy to be there though no one is currently paying her any particular attention.”
Zaira saw what he meant. “She’s being touched by someone she trusts not to hurt her and she knows that should she need care, it will be given.” As Remi had so easily prepared that slice of toast for her.
“Yes.” Aden touched his hand to her own back, as if he’d sensed the vicious wolves of aloneness biting at her. “We can give our children a safe haven where they never have to fear being hurt simply for being who they are.”
Zaira thought again of that long-ago infirmary room and of the solemn boy who’d patched up her wounds. He’d been her safe place. And in giving her that, he’d given her a reason not to take unnecessary risks, not to get herself killed, and never, ever to give up the fight against the insanity that wanted to envelop her mind. “I can do that.” Her voice came out raw, the insane, angry girl nodding in silent agreement. “I can help make a safe place for Arrow children.”
Aden’s lips brushed her ear as he leaned down to speak, the scent of his body in her every breath. “If you can do that, then you can be my partner.”
Zaira wanted to say yes, but her wants could be deadly. It was because of want that she collected things that were Aden’s and kept them close, why she took those things out late at night and carefully looked through them one by one. “If you’d made me this offer when I was sixteen, I would’ve taken it.”
Would’ve taken him.
Always, she’d been jealous of the attention he gave others, had wanted him only and always for herself.
“What’s changed?” Aden asked.
“Now I understand that my obsessive desire to own you comes from the same dark place as my rage.” That truth was one it had taken her years to grapple with, to comprehend. “It’ll crush the life out of you.” Because if she broke discipline and took Aden’s hand, then all bets were off. She’d regress to the feral creature she’d once been, murderous and violent and so full of need that she would take and take and take and take.
Because Zaira couldn’t walk the middle road: either she could be a disciplined, cold Arrow or she could be a savage, possessive, obsessive creature capable of any madness to get her own way. “I’d snap the neck of anyone who tried to get between us, anyone who dared take your attention from me,” she said, allowing him to see the sinuous darkness that lived in her. “I’d destroy you with my want and my need.”
Chapter 18
HIGH IN THE Sierra Nevada, where the snowpack hadn’t yet melted, SnowDancer alpha, Hawke, was stretching out into a run in his wolf form when Riaz ran up alongside him. The lieutenant was also in his animal form, his fur a rich black in contrast to Hawke’s silver-gold. Glancing over to meet the dark gold of Riaz’s eyes, Hawke asked a silent question, received a silent answer.
Riaz needed to talk to him, but it wasn’t so urgent that Hawke couldn’t run.
Satisfied his pack was well, Hawke flowed into the run across the still night-draped snow, dawn yet to come to these mountains. His wolf needed to stretch its muscles, needed to be free. He hadn’t sought out company, but now that Riaz was here, it was good. Pack was always welcome. The lieutenant was also fast enough that Hawke didn’t have to temper his pace, and they ran hard and smooth for miles before circling back toward the den.
The wind rippled cold fingers through his fur, small creatures darted into hiding, the air scented with pine and the landscape endless. The morning sun was making the snow glitter by the time he and Riaz returned to the stone tunnels of their home, separating out to shift, shower, and dress before they met again just outside the den.
Wolf happily tired, Hawke leaned up against the den wall and watched the cubs play in the area in front of the den. SnowDancer’s home base was at an elevation that meant there was still a good coating of snow on the ground, though given current conditions, it would be gone soon.
It was because of the latter that the cubs had been allowed out of school as a special treat. All had clearly been too excited at the chance for one more snow play day to sleep in. Watched over by a number of adults, they were having great fun building snowmen. The ones in human form were bundled up and tasked with doing the delicate work paws couldn’t accomplish, while those in pup form gathered up snow and patted it into place.
Hawke gave the postcard-peaceful, heartwarming scene approximately ten more minutes at best. His wolf’s jaw opened in a lupine laugh inside him—it knew as well as the human part of him that someone would give in to the temptation to throw a snowball at any minute and then the melee would begin.
Scenting Riaz, he waited for the lieutenant to join him. “What did you want to discuss?”
He frowned before Riaz could reply. “Is that a lipstick mark on your neck? How the fuck did you have time to find Adria, get a kiss, then get back here?” Hawke hadn’t seen Sienna since she’d gone out on patrol, and his wolf wasn’t happy.
Giving him a smug smile, Riaz leaned on the den wall beside him. “I have priorities.” He ran a hand through his shower-dampened hair. “So, business—this morning, I received a message from a group of minor wolf packs we’re friendly with. They say the Human Alliance has been buying up land marked for expansion of their territories.”