Zander took Bonnie's hand and together they carefully navigated their way through the room without knocking over any piles. When they finally arrived at her bed, which was probably the clearest surface in the room - she didn't like the smell of mixed herbs all over her sheets - they sat down and he took her hands in his big, warm ones.
"Listen, Bonnie," he said. "I've been thinking about what you said, that being Alpha to the Pack is such an important responsibility, and that I need another werewolf by my side who really understands that, to be my partner and help me. And you're right. Shay's perfect for that."
"Oh," Bonnie said, her voice tiny. Something was crumbling inside her, as fragile as a dead leaf. She tried to gently pull her hands away from Zander's, but he tightened his grip.
"No," he said, distressed. "I'm saying this wrong. Let me start over. Bonnie, look at me." She looked up, her vision clouded with tears, and met Zander's sea-blue eyes. "You, Bonnie," he said softly. "I love you. When we were fighting Klaus's army, I saw you casting spells to protect everyone, with this fierce kind of light in your face. You were so strong, and so powerful, and you could have been killed. Or I could have been killed, and we wouldn't have been together at the end. It made me realize what I should have known all along: you're the only one I want."
The crumbling thing in Bonnie's chest stopped its dry disintegration and began to melt instead, filling her with warmth. But she couldn't let Zander sacrifice the good of his Pack for her. "But nothing's changed," she said at last. "I love you, too, but what if loving me destroys everything else that matters to you?"
Zander pulled her closer. "It won't," he said. "The wolves on the Council can't choose who I love. I don't love Shay. I love you. Shay and I can lead the Pack together, but if it ever came down to it, I would rather lose that than lose you." He raised Bonnie's hand to his lips and kissed it softly, his eyes shining. "I can choose my own destiny," he said. "And I choose you. If you'll have me."
"If I'll have you?" Bonnie choked on her tears, wiped at her eyes, and then punched Zander softly in the shoulder. "You dork," she said lovingly, and kissed him.
Chapter 41
"Are you sure this will do what we need?" Elena asked Bonnie. They'd chosen Stefan's spacious, uncluttered single to summon the Principal Guardian. When Elena had called Bonnie, she'd come right up, her hand held tightly in Zander's. She looked so happy, but when she handed Damon the potion she'd made for him, her small face creased with anxiety.
"I think so," she said. "The valerian will slow his heart rate even more than usual, and the aconite ought to make his breathing really shallow. It will probably feel pretty weird," she told Damon, "but I don't think it'll hurt you."
Damon looked down at the thick green mixture in the cup. "Of course it won't," he said reassuringly. "You can't poison a vampire."
"I put honey in to make it taste better," Bonnie said.
"Thank you, redbird," Damon said, and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Whether this plan works or not, I'm grateful." Bonnie grinned, a little flustered, and he added, "You and your wolf had better go. We wouldn't want the Guardians to think you were involved." Zander and Damon nodded to each other and Zander took Bonnie's hand again.
When they left, it was just the three of them: Elena, Damon, and Andres. Stefan had wanted to come, to stand by his brother's side in what might be Damon's last moments, but Damon hadn't let him. An angry Guardian is dangerous, he'd said. And, at best, Mylea would be very angry.
Damon drank Bonnie's potion in one long swallow and grimaced. "The honey doesn't help that much," he commented. Elena hugged him and he gently rubbed her back. "Whatever happens, it's not your fault," he said. Then he shuddered and leaned back against the wall, pressing one hand against his chest. "Ugh," he said faintly. "I don't feel . . ." His eyes rolled back in his head and he slid down the wall, landing in a crumpled heap on the floor.
"Damon!" she cried, and then caught herself. This was supposed to happen. He looked vulnerable like that, she thought, and smaller, and she dragged her eyes away from him. This would be easier if she didn't look at Damon.
"Are you ready to call the Guardian?" Elena asked Andres, and he nodded, holding tightly to her hand. His mouth was tense, and there was none of the usual warmth and humor in his eyes.
Elena concentrated on the link between herself and Andres, energy flowing back and forth between them, moving as steadily and rhythmically as the tide. As that energy found a balance and began to grow, she forced open the doors of Power inside herself.
OH. As soon as her Power was unleashed, everything in her swung to attention, snapping toward Damon. She wanted to . . . she didn't want to hurt him, exactly; it wasn't anger the Power was nursing inside her, but something cold and clean that wanted to destroy him. Not vengeance, not passion, but a cool, urgent instruction: This needs to be eliminated.
This must be what it was to have an unfulfilled task. It would be so easy to give in to that cold urgency, to do what she was expected to do. What she wanted to do.
No. She couldn't do it. Or, at least, she wouldn't.
With a physical effort, she turned her attention back to Andres. With the doors inside her mind wide open, she could see his expansive aura, shimmering green around him, filling half the room. Using immense concentration, she tried to move her own aura, blending her gold into Andres's green. Slowly, the colors slid together and mixed, filling the room. Power sang through Elena's veins, and everything she could see was touched with light. She met Andres's eyes, and his face was filled with wonder. They were stronger like this, more than twice as strong, and she felt the summoning go out with the Power of a shout.