"I never wanted to." Even the idea nauseated her. "Eventually, I got very good at blocking her. But in that grave, I fractured... and she slipped in. She spied on my emotions, prodded me when I threatened to lose consciousness, made sure I lived every moment."
Wakey, wakey, big sister. Tell me some more, show me.
"She knew how afraid I was of being in a small, dark place. She was curious about where that fear came from, since she'd been buried right beside me in the earthquake when we were fourteen and had had no adverse reaction. That was her justification for what she did." Ashaya felt a cool trail down her cheek, and didn't know what it was until the salt of it touched her lips.
Tears.
She was crying. She hadn't shed a single tear since those mindless hours trapped in a pitch-black grave. "But still, I protected her. Because she was - is - broken, and I couldn't let them destroy her, and because - " Her breathing caught, becoming so ragged, she could barely form words. But she had to finish, had to make Dorian see. "She was the single person in the whole world whom I was certain would never betray me to others, not for money, or status, not even to save her own life."
Dorian understood the ties of family, of Pack, and today, he began to understand what drove Ashaya to protect Amara. "She didn't care that you weren't the perfect Psy."
"Back then, she was the more outwardly Silent of the two of us. She would've been believed, but she never threatened to tell on me. Never. Not once." Ashaya's voice hitched as she tried to speak through her tears. "Whatever happened, whatever she did or I did, it was only ever between the two of us. I've never betrayed her and she won't ever betray me." A sob that made her entire body tremble. "But I'm tired, Dorian. I'm so tired. I don't want to be stuck in this twisted bond forever, but I can't see a way out."
Dorian could, but the catch was, not everyone would come out of it alive. Leopard and man both agreed - Ashaya and Keenan were his to protect. Amara Aleine was a threat. A simple equation. And one that, if it came down to the killing fields, might just shatter Ashaya's mind. To lose a twin...
"Make me forget." A whisper, a plea.
Not giving her what she wanted wasn't even an option. He switched their positions so she was under him. "Aren't you afraid I'll take advantage?"
She wiped away her tears. "Please do."
"Ask nice."
"Why don't I make you angry instead? That gets me kissed a lot."
He smiled and began to place kisses along the rim of her lips. He had no intention of abusing her trust by taking her while she was so distraught. But, he thought, sliding his lips over hers, changelings understood all there was to know about healing through touch. If Shaya needed a little stroking, he was more than happy to do the job. "Open your mouth."
She did.
And his erection threatened to poke a f**king hole in his jeans.
Ashaya shifted instinctively beneath him, cradling him right where he wanted to be. Groaning into the kiss, he tried to stop himself from thrusting. Then she arched up, rubbing her body against his.
He tore his lips away. "Shaya, baby, I'm not that good."
"I called you 'the sniper' in my journal. I know exactly how bad you are." Her hands slid under his T-shirt to lie flat against his back.
Sizzle. "Harder," he told her when her nails dug into him.
"Like this?"
"Mmm." Dropping his head, even as he smoothed his hand down her back to tilt her heat tight against him, he began to kiss the sensitive line of her neck. Ashaya needed release. He'd damn well give her release. And he'd keep his promise to never hurt her. Even if she was driving him insane with those urgent little movements of her body. "That's it, baby. Let me take you over." He ground himself against her, startling a sharp little cry from her throat. "Shh, darling. Hold on to me."
The scent of her was hot, wild, arousing as hell.
At the edge of his control, he took her mouth in an open-mouthed kiss, insinuating his hand between their bodies at the same time, and using the heel of his hand to give her the sexual friction she needed. He couldn't handle any more. "Come on, sweet darling. Come for me."
"Dorian." It was a gasp as her eyes went pure black and her body arched like a bow, her br**sts crushed against him.
"Good girl," he whispered. "Good girl. I should get sainthood for this."
She didn't hear him, and that was fine. He liked seeing her like this, all loose and relaxed... and his.
Chapter 33
I'm latent. That used to make me angry. But that was before I decided I was going to become a sentinel. My mother thinks I'm pigheaded. I think I know what I want. And no one is going to stop me. No one had better even try.
From an essay titled "What I Want to Be When I Grow Up" by Dorian Christensen, age 8 (Graded A+)
They made it back to Tammy and Nate's house around six thirty.
Something struck him as they entered. "Your PsyNet shields?"
"I'm safe." She gave him a puzzled look. "I shouldn't be. Dorian, what we did - "
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." His guess was that Amara was protecting Ashaya. But he didn't want to bring up her twin again so soon. "Keep your head down and don't get lazy with the shields."
She nodded. "Sound advice."
It made him smile to hear her being scientist - like after she'd just exploded in his arms. "I forgot to tell you - Rina's set up another broadcast for tomorrow."
Her eyes met his. "Maybe we can discuss it after dinner." An invitation, a gesture of trust.