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Waistcoats & Weaponry (Finishing School #3) Page 54
Author: Gail Carriger

Soap still did not turn. “Perhaps someday you will apply that same sentiment to me,” he murmured.

Sophronia was startled by the idea.

The train let out a puff of smoke and Soap tooted the horn merrily. They picked up more speed on a slight decline.

Sophronia added, “Then again, he may surprise me.”

Into the resulting comparative silence Monique said, “Well, that was an interesting maneuver.”

Sophronia replied, “They were responsible for the mechanicals’ malfunctioning. Each one of those prototypes responded to a crystalline valve installed in a nearby household mechanical. That’s why so many were serviced recently.”

Monique said, “Took you long enough to figure out.”

“It’s going to take them a while to re-valve all mechanicals.”

“But when they do…” Monique added, darkly, “Can’t you see the disaster in front of you? Or are you still blind? Let me down, I can help.”

“Why the vampire involvement? Why you? Why your hive?” demanded Dimity.

“You are complete imbeciles, all of you! What do you think has been happening all this time? Since I first tried to repurpose the prototype valve almost eighteen months ago. When you two plebeians stopped me with a cheese pie. You think this has all been a lark? You think the Picklemen are interested in anyone’s welfare besides their own?”

Sophronia frowned. What has welfare to do with it? She wanted to step in, but it was much smarter to let Monique run her mouth. If allowed to vent poisoned steam, she might reveal everything.

Sidheag, on the other hand, was red faced and aggravated.

Sophronia caught her friend’s yellow-eyed gaze and shook her head sharply.

Sidheag glared at her, expressing ire.

Sophronia mouthed, “Let her talk.”

Sidheag sighed.

Monique continued her diatribe. Dangling from a train doorway apparently stretched the tongue as well as the shoulders. “You think this prototype was designed to speed up floating? Oh, no, that was simply a decoy use. You think it’s for point-to-point communication? Take over from the telegraph? That’s only one application. No, the Picklemen have been intending this all along. Put one of their little toys inside each and every mechanical in England, and you know what the Picklemen have?”

Sophronia said, without inflection, “A standing army located in every household, able to take direct commands from them at a whim.”

Monique nodded. “A power currently limited only by the need to service every single mechanical in the realm. And transmission distance. They are moving fast to solve the first problem, and they have scientists trying to improve upon the second. There are some who think if they could only get close to the aetherosphere, they could transmit to most of the country. But all they need is London. London is what matters.”

Sophronia, being a country girl, took mild offense at that but understood Monique’s point. London was, after all, the seat of power. In addition, almost every good London family, progressive or conservative, employed mechanicals. Only the vampires and the werewolves abstained.

If she hadn’t seen all those crystalline valves with her own eyes, she would have thought Monique’s talk vampire propaganda. It all seemed so far-fetched. She couldn’t deny the fact that the very idea that Monique had been in the right all along rubbed her the wrong way.

Sophronia turned away, uncomfortable. Bumbersnoot was sitting smugly by Soap’s feet. He’d emitted the prototype and the hurlie. Sophronia retrieved both, stuffing them into pockets.

Dimity said to Monique, “And why haven’t the vampires brought this to the attention of the government?”

“The potentate knows. And the dewan, of course. But what can the Shadow Council do against such a maneuver? Parliament has a daylight hold on operations, and too many MPs are affiliated with Picklemen. Cultivator-rank peons are everywhere. If we made any overt move against them, they would simply deny everything. Intent to commit a crime is not a crime. Besides which, we don’t know exactly what they propose to do with the power. Any public outcry would be greeted with grave suspicion as vampire hysteria. Those supernaturals see plots everywhere, they always do. Secrecy was our only option, and now you’ve botched that up, too. What a plague you are, Sophronia!”

Sophronia said, “You started it.”

Monique rolled her eyes. “You are a child.”

Sophronia asked, “What’s our school’s position been in all this?”

“Is that your loyalty? Are you going to fight for a finishing school, Sophronia, for the rest of your career? It’s not a very wealthy patron.”

“I have other options.” After the Pickleman revelation, Sophronia was looking favorably, once more, on Lord Akeldama. At least she knew he wasn’t a Pickleman!

Monique scoffed. “You are going to have to choose sides. We all do, in the end.”

Sophronia cocked her head. “Are you trying to recruit me?”

“Cut me down and I’ll consider putting in a good word with Countess Nadasdy.”

“Thank you for the thought, but I have a better vampire offer.” Sophronia was, however, in a quandary. What was she going to do now? Even if she told Lord Akeldama, would he put a stop to the Picklemen? The other vampires were doing a piss-poor job of it. Lord Akeldama didn’t seem the type to involve himself directly, which left… well… her.

Monique, having spoken her piece, corked up.

Sidheag and Dimity joined Sophronia in a huddle close to Soap, so they could discuss without being overheard.

“Options?” said Sophronia.

Sidheag said, “You know my wishes.”

“You can’t flog Monique, it’s not done at your age,” said Dimity, presuming as to Sidheag’s feelings.

Sidheag said, “No. Well, yes. A switch tickle would do her some good. But what I meant is that I want to continue on to Scotland. My pack needs me; that is the reason we started this whole thing.”

Sophronia nodded. “Soap, do you think you can make it all the way there on the back tracks without danger?”

“Birmingham and Leeds areas might give us stick. But if necessary we can stash the train and continue on in a more traditional manner.”

“Oh, yes, simply hide a whole train somewhere.” Even Sophronia was doubtful.

Soap smiled cheekily.

Dimity said, “Monique said it’s going to take the Picklemen a while to get all mechanicals installed with the crystalline valves. They must be ramping up valve production.”

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Gail Carriger's Novels
» Heartless (Parasol Protectorate #4)
» Waistcoats & Weaponry (Finishing School #3)
» Prudence (The Custard Protocol #1)
» Timeless (Parasol Protectorate #5)
» Etiquette & Espionage (Finishing School #1)
» Curtsies & Conspiracies (Finishing School #2)
» Soulless (Parasol Protectorate #1)
» Changeless (Parasol Protectorate #2)
» Blameless (Parasol Protectorate #3)