“I’m sorry, honey,” Crystal stated honestly. Her heart broke for him. She, better than anyone, understood the kind of pain dealing with a foul parent could bring, and the fact that his father was also an alcoholic brought a whole different element to the equation for him. It made her shudder to think of how bad her own mother might be if she were drinking as well. The term hell on wheels would certainly apply.
He fitted his hand to hers before weaving their fingers together. He watched the act as if fascinated by it. “My father has been angry with me for years because my grandfather left his company in my hands. It wasn’t because he loved me more, it was simply because he didn’t want to see the family fortune or reputation go down the toilet because my father couldn’t stay away from booze. Since then, my father goes to the main headquarters every so often and makes an ass out of himself until he has my attention. It makes him feel powerful to jerk my chain because he knows I’ll come to save my employees from dealing with him. It’s been the same for so long that it’s almost part of my regular routine now. I’ll go to Charleston, pretend we’re one big happy family, and then I’ll have a short reprieve before we do it all over again. It’s my life, Angel, just as your mother’s behavior is in yours.”
“I know,” she agreed. “And you’re right; it does become somewhat routine after a while. It doesn’t mean that it’s any easier to deal with, though, does it?”
“No, baby, it doesn’t,” he sighed. “Which is why I can’t do this to you anymore. I saw what it did to you last night to have your mother say those things to you. Then you had but a few hours to recover before my parents were in your face saying even worse. I would have had to be blind this morning not to have noticed how much that hurt you. I may be able to shrug off the ugliness and go on, but I can’t ask or expect you to do the same.”
In a voice thick with panic, she croaked, “Mark, what are you saying?”
Instead of shying away, he faced her fully. His eyes were sad, but there was also a determination there that scared her to death. “You’re such a beautiful person, Angel—both inside and out. And I feel more for you than I could have ever imagined. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But I do, and I can’t let someone who I care so much for suffer because of me. And that’s what it would be. I can threaten and lay down the law at every turn with my parents, but eventually they’ll manage to get you alone and unload some more vile accusations on you. With me, you’ll never get away from that. You’ll bounce back and forth from one bad situation to another. Eventually, you’ll grow to hate me for doing that to you, and that would kill me, baby.”
With tears rolling down her cheeks, she cupped his face as she shook her head. “No—baby, no. I could never hate you. God, I—I love you. I would deal with anything as long as we’re together. Please . . .”
He put his hands up, rubbing the tears from her face with his thumbs, only to repeat it again as they continued to fall. “Shhh, Angel, don’t you see it’s because I love you that I’m doing this? Baby, parts of my life are ugly, and they’re not going anywhere. One of the things that I love so much about you is that you’ve always seemed so bright I could have sworn you were lit from within. But after my parents left this morning, that light was so dim that it was almost nonexistent. And I won’t be the one to extinguish it forever.”
“Mark,” she cried, “you don’t have to do this. I can be stronger. They just surprised me today. I promise you, I’ll be okay. Just—”
“But you shouldn’t have to be,” he interrupted. “That’s the point here, baby. They’ll always catch you by surprise because you can’t and shouldn’t have to plan to be attacked.” Before she could argue, he lowered his head and locked his lips on her. Even as she responded to the frantic touch of his mouth, she knew it for what it was—good-bye. He was sitting here with her after professing his love, but he was already gone. Men like Mark didn’t make decisions lightly, and he’d decided to sacrifice his happiness, thinking he was saving her own.
He got to his feet and lowered her back into the chair. “Denny’s here to take you home. He’ll have your car delivered later. He’ll give you his card so that you can call him if you need anything at all.” Then he drove the final arrow into her heart. “Take care of yourself, Crystal.”
I’m no longer “Angel” to him. He’s letting me go.
She reached out and grabbed his hand before he could walk away. “Don’t do this to me—to us,” she begged, as she tossed her pride aside.
For a brief moment, she saw past his blank expression to the pain that blazed from his eyes. He cupped the side of her face, stroking her cheek. “Can’t you see, baby? I have no choice. This is hurting me too, but it’s better this way. I’m giving you a future of happiness and laughter instead of a life spent looking over your shoulder.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he put a finger to her lips, silencing her. “Don’t, Angel—this is hard enough already. Please just go with Denny.”
“I love you,” she whispered as he pulled his hand away. He closed his eyes and looked unsteady on his feet as he walked away.
Crystal was dimly aware of Denny showing up at some point and helping her into the car. He cursed under his breath, and she had no idea if it was directed at her or Mark, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care either way.