I wondered if they made a deodorant for that. I lifted my hand in a placating gesture. "Toot, I'm working for Mab right now, but it's just another client, okay? I'm not here to take you anywhere or make you do anything."
Toot planted the eraser end of his spear on the ground, scowling suspiciously up at me. "Really?" he demanded.
"Really," I said.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Super duper double dog promise spit swear?"
I nodded. "Super duper double dog promise spit swear," I repeated gravely.
"Spit!" Toot demanded.
I spat on the ground.
"Oh. Well, then," Toot said. He dropped his spear and darted over to the pizza, much to the consternation of the other little faeries, who let out piping shrills of protest and then followed him. The piece of pizza didn't last long. It was like watching one of those nature shows, where the piranha devour some luckless thing that falls in the water - except here there were glittering wings and motes and puffs of glowing, colorful dust everywhere.
I watched, frowning, until Toot-toot flopped onto his back, his tummy slightly distended. He let out a contented sigh, and the other faeries followed suit.
"So, Harry," Toot said, "who do you think is going to win the war?"
"The White Council," I said. "The Red Court's got no depth on the bench and nothing in the bullpen."
Toot snorted and flipped his plastic bottle-cap helm off his head. His hair waved around in the breeze. "Just because they don't have any cows doesn't mean that they won't win. But I don't mean that war."
I frowned. "You mean between the Courts."
Toot nodded. "Yeah."
"Okay. What's with the armor and weapons, Toot?"
The faerie beamed. "Neat, huh?"
"Highly scary," I said gravely. "But why do you have them?"
Toot folded his arms and said, with all the gravity that six inches of fluff and pixie dust can muster, "Trouble's coming."
"Uh-huh. I hear the Courts are upset."
"More than just upset, Harry Dresden. The drawing of the wyldfae is beginning. I saw some dryads walking with a Sidhe Knight from Summer, and a canal nereid climbed up out of the water a couple of blocks over and went into a Winter building."
"Drawing of the wyldfae. Like you guys?"
Toot nodded and propped his feet up on the legs of the Star Jump, who let out a surprisingly basso belch. "Not everyone plays with the Courts. We mostly just do our jobs and don't pay much attention. But when there's a war on, the wyldfae get Called to one side or another."
"Who picks which way you go?"
Toot shrugged. "Mostly the nice wyldfae go to the Warm Queen and the mean ones go to Cold. I think it's got something to do with what you've been doing."
"Uh-huh. So have you been doing Warm or Cold things?"
Toot let out a sparkling laugh. "How should I remember all those things?" He patted his stomach and then rose to his feet again, eyes calculating. "Is that a pizza box you have there, Harry?"
I held the box out and opened it, showing the rest of the pizza. There was a collective «Ooooo» from the faeries, and they all pressed to the very edge of the circle, until it flattened their little noses, staring at the pizza in fascinated lust.
"You've sure given us a lot of pizza the past couple of years, Harry," Toot said, with a swallow. He didn't look away from the box in my hands.
"Hey, you gave me a hand when I needed it," I said. "It's only fair, right?"
"Only fair?" Toot spat, outraged. "It's ... it's ... it's pizza, Harry."
"I'm wanting some more work done," I said. "I need information."
"And you're paying in pizza?" Toot asked, his tone hopeful.
"Yes," I said.
"Wah-hoo!" Toot shouted and buzzed into the air in an excited spiral. The other faeries followed him with similar carols of happiness, and the blur of colors was dizzying.
"Give us the pizza!" Toot shouted.
"Pizza, pizza, pizza!" the other faeries shrilled.
"First," I said, "I want some questions answered."
"Right, right, right!" Toot screamed. "Ask already!"
"I need to talk to the Winter Lady," I said. "Where can I find her, Toot?"
Toot tore at his lavender hair. "Is that all you need to know? Down in the city! Down where the shops are underground, and the sidewalks."
I frowned. "In the commuter tunnels?"
"Yes, yes, yes. Back in the part the mortals can't see, you can find your way into Undertown. The Cold Lady came to Undertown. Her court is in Undertown."
"What?" I sputtered. "Since when?"
Toot whirled around in impatient loops in the air. "Since the last autumn!"
I scratched at my hair. It made sense, I supposed. Last autumn, a vengeful vampire and her allies had stirred up all sorts of supernatural mischief, creating turbulence in the border between the real world and the Nevernever, the world of spirit. Shortly after, the war between the wizards and the vampires had begun.
Those events had probably attracted the attention of all sorts of things.
I shook my head. "And what about the Summer Lady? Is she in town?"
Toot put his fists on his hips. "Well, obviously, Harry. If Winter came here, Summer had to come too, didn't it?"
"Obviously," I said, feeling a little slow on the uptake. Man, was I off my game. "Where can I find her?"
"She's on top of one of those big buildings."
I sighed. "Toot, this is Chicago. There are a lot of big buildings."
Toot blinked at me, then frowned for a minute before brightening. "It's the one with the pizza shop right by it."
My head hurt some more. "Tell you what. How about you guide me to it?"
Toot thrust out his little chin and scowled. "And miss pizza? No way."
I gritted my teeth. "Then get me someone else to guide me. You've got to know someone."
Toot scrunched up his face. He tugged at one earlobe, but it evidently didn't help him remember, because he had to rub one foot against the opposite calf and spin around in vacant circles for ten whole seconds before he whirled back to face me, the nimbus of light around him brightening. "Aha!" he sang. "Yes! I can give you a guide!" He jabbed a finger at me. "But only if that's all the questions, Harry. Pizza, pizza, pizza!"
"Guide first," I insisted. "Then pizza."