"Yeah, but I soaked him in gasoline first."
She snorted at me, around more pizza. "Shutout."
"Whatever."
"Murphy three, Dresden zero."
"You didn't do all of it."
"I put on the boots."
I raised my hands. "Okay, okay. You've ... got boots, Murph."
She sniffed and took an almost dainty sip of Coke. "Lucky I was there."
I squeezed her shoulder and said, with no particular inflection, "Yes. Thank you."
Murphy smiled up at me. From the window, one of the Alphas reported, "Car's ready."
Billy and a couple more laid out a blanket and then carefully lifted Murphy onto it. She tolerated them with a roll of her eyes, but hissed with discomfort even at the gentle motion.
"Call," she said.
"Will."
"Watch your back, Harry." Then they carried her out.
I picked up some more pizza, exchanged some more or less polite chitchat with some of the Alphas, and made my escape from the crowded living room of the apartment to the balcony. I shut the sliding glass door behind me. Only one light in the parking lot provided any illumination, so the balcony was mostly covered in sheltering shadows. The night was a close one, humidity cooking along at a lazy summer broil, but even so it felt less claustrophobic than the crowded apartment.
I watched Billy and the Alphas load Murphy into a minivan and drive off. Then there was as much silence as you ever get in Chicago. The hiss of tires on asphalt was a constant, liquid background, punctuated with occasional sirens, horns, mechanical squeaks and squeals, and the buzzing of one lost locust that must have been perched on a building nearby.
I put my paper plate on the wooden balcony railing, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath, trying to clear my head.
"Penny for your thoughts," said a quiet female voice.
I nearly jumped off the balcony in sheer reaction. My hand brushed the paper plate, and the pizza fell to the parking lot below. I whirled around and found Meryl sitting in a chair at the other side of the balcony, deep in shadows, her large form nothing more than a more solid piece of darkness - but her eyes gleamed in the half-light, reflecting traces of red. She watched the plate fall and then said, "Sorry."
"S'okay," I said. "Just a little nervous tonight."
She nodded. "I was listening."
I nodded back to her and returned to looking at nothing, listening to night sounds. After a while, she asked me, "Does it hurt?"
I waved my bandaged hand idly. "Sort of."
"Not that," she said. "I meant watching your friend get hurt."
Some of my racing thoughts coalesced into irritated anger. "What kind of question is that?"
"A simple one."
I took an angry hit from my can of Coke. "Of course it hurts."
"You're different than I thought you'd be."
I squinted over my shoulder at her.
"They tell stories about you, Mister Dresden."
"It's all a lie."
Her teeth gleamed. "Not all of them are bad."
"Mostly good or mostly bad?"
"Depends on who's talking. The Sidhe crowd thinks you're an interesting mortal pet of Mab's. The vampire wanna-be crowd thinks you're some kind of psychotic vigilante with a penchant for vengeance and mayhem. Sort of a one-man Spanish Inquisition. Most of the magical crowd thinks you're distant, dangerous, but smart and honorable. Crooks think you're a hit man for the outfit, or maybe one of the families back East. Straights think you're a fraud trying to bilk people out of their hard-won cash, except for Larry Fowler, who probably wants you on the show again."
I regarded her, frowning. "And what do you think?"
"I think you need a haircut." She lifted a can to her mouth and I caught a whiff of beer. "Bill called all the morgues and hospitals. No Jane Doe with green hair."
"Didn't figure there would be. I talked to Aurora. She seemed concerned."
"She would. She's everyone's big sister. Thinks she needs to take care of the whole world."
"She didn't know anything."
Meryl shook her head and was quiet for a while before she asked, "What's it like being a wizard?"
I shrugged. "Mostly it's like being a watch fob repairman. It's both difficult and not in demand. The rest of the time ..."
More emotion rose in me, threatening my self-control. Meryl waited.
"The rest of the time," I picked up, "it's scary as hell. You start learning the kinds of things that go bump in the night and you figure out that 'ignorance is bliss' is more than just a quotable quote. And it's - " I clenched my hands. "It's so damned frustrating. You see people getting hurt. Innocents. Friends. I try to make a difference, but I usually don't know what the hell is going on until someone is already dead. Doesn't matter what kind of job I do - I can't help those folks."
"Sounds hard," Meryl said.
I shrugged. "I guess it isn't any different than what anyone else goes through. The names just get changed." I finished off the Coke and stomped the dead soldier flat. "What about you? What's it like being a changeling?"
Meryl rolled the beer can between her broad hands. "About like anyone, until you hit puberty. Then you start feeling things."
"What kinds of things?"
"Different, depending on your Sidhe half. For me it was anger, hunger. I gained a lot of weight. I kept losing my temper over the most idiotic things." She took a drink. "And strength. I grew up on a farm. My older brother rolled a tractor and it pinned him, broke his hip, and caught on fire. I picked it up and threw it off him, then dragged him back to the house. More than a mile. I was twelve. My hair had turned this color by the next morning."
"Troll," I said quietly.
She nodded. "Yeah. I don't know the details about what happened, but yeah. And every time I let those feelings get loose, the more I lost my temper and used my strength, the bigger and stronger I got. And the worse I felt about what I did." She shook her head. "Sometimes I think it would be easier to just choose the Sidhe half. To stop being human, stop hurting. If it wasn't for the others needing me ..."
"It would turn you into a monster."
"But a happy monster." She finished her beer. "I should go check on Fix - he's sleeping now - and try to call Ace. What are you going to do?"
"Try to add up some facts. Meet some contacts. Interview more Queens. Maybe get a haircut."