It was outside of the house that Viktor found me. We recognized one another, even though we had never met. My mother would have said we were kindred spirits. I thought it was simply that we shared the same mother.
He asked if they were my family. I said yes. He said that they were lovely, and that he missed his own family. His words were few, but he shared with me how difficult it was when he went back to see his own family after he had changed.
“You cannot come back. You will hurt them.”
“I know.” I knew.
He took me away. Far away. We traveled everywhere, ending up in Paris. Then he met Adele and I was on my own again. I met my other brother, Ivan, but did not see Di or Cal. The longer I was on my own, the wilder I became.
Soon, I had no qualms about killing anyone. What did it matter? Anyone who I killed had a family. Someone who would miss them. As long as my own family was safe from me, nothing else mattered. That lasted until the night of the incident with Josephine. Cal found me that time too, trying to end my existence again.
He was different this time. He was gaunt. I could tell he had not fed in a very long time. I didn't ask how he found me or how he knew. I didn't ask questions then.
“Come with me.” He took me to another river and had me lay down in it and close my eyes.
“Nothing you have done has any bearing on what you do now.” He pushed my head below the water. It was several feet deep, but clear as air. I opened my eyes and watched his liquid form above me. It was just like the first time we had met, but not quite.
“There is another way,” he said when I surfaced. The water had sloshed its way into my body. I opened my mouth and let it drain. “You do not have to kill.”
“Show me.” I did not want to kill anymore. I had lived for months not caring. I wanted to care. I was going to force myself to care.
So he brought me people who he had drugged with a simple sleeping agent. He taught me how to judge the heartbeat, how to listen to the body tell me when I had taken enough. At first, I killed more often than not. But gradually, I learned until I was able to stop after taking very little blood. Then I struck out on my own and Cal started buying houses and fixing them up. I would stay with him sometimes, with Viktor sometimes, but mostly I was on my own. I saw Di every now and then.
Always, always, she reminded me of the bind. I still loved her, but I thought of her less. She was like a little bit of light, stuck in the back of my mind. Most of the time I could forget it was there, but sometimes it would wink at me and remind me of its presence. Always there.
I told them all of it. Ava held my hand then entire time. I felt her grip tighten at certain parts. Texas covered her mouth, as if she was about to scream, but she was silent. I waited for someone to say something. For a while, the only sound was the breath and blood of the humans.
“Shut. The. Front. Door.”
Texas could always be counted on.
Ava
I had to be honest, what Peter said had shocked me. How could it not? It was different hearing about the things he had done from his own mouth. He'd always been so vague with me, simply trusting that he could say that he'd killed someone and that would be enough to get me to stay away. Obviously, that hadn't worked.
At least this time I knew he wasn't trying to shock me. Simply to show me another part of his life that I didn't know much about. How much more was there? I mean, I know that there were nearly a hundred years of him that I didn't know. That was a long time. A really long time. I knew he'd done a lot of reading, but there are a lot of hours in a day. For bloodsucking, apparently.
Tex looks horrified, but I don't think she's going to freak. I sincerely hope not.
“Thank you for telling me.” I pull myself into him, because he won't move. He's doing that thing when he gets stiller-than-still, waiting for me to give him my reaction. I try my best not to let too much go through our connection. I know he felt a flare of shock. That's not something you can really hide. But I'm doing my best. It is what it is.
I'm not going to condemn him. He's good. Much better than I am. I was the one who had kept secrets and lied and hidden things. And neglected my friends. And made my mother sick. He'd stayed away from his family to protect them. He'd given them up to save them. There wasn't anything more noble than that.
“I did not want to share it with you,” he says. There's a pause. I can feel it. “But I am glad I did.” He doesn't smile, but I don't need that. I feel him. I feel his relief that I didn't run screaming. That I know some of the worst parts of him. He already knows a lot of my worst parts. It's only fair that he shares.
“So we go see Cal.” I can't seem to get this version of Cal, Peter's version, to jive with the one I had met. But we need answers, and Peter believes Cal can get them. I had to trust him. Trust that he had a plan that I probably didn't know about. Just like last time.
“Just like that,” I say, kissing his cheek. I don't know if I can do anything more intimate. Maybe later. We have a Cal to find.
“Hold up. I think I need a moment to process this.” Tex holds up her hand.
“Maybe –” I start to say, but Tex holds her hand in front of his face.
“Shh, I'm processing.” I shut my mouth. We all sit there and wait for the cogs and wheels to turn and click in her brain. It looks like it hurts. After what seems like forever she nods.
“Okay, got it.”
“Got what?” I say.
“All that.” She waves her hands in front of Peter. I think she means his story.
“Sooo...” I wait for her to elaborate.
“When do we leave?”
“We aren't going anywhere. The only reason I'm going is because I have to.” That comes out wrong. I look at Peter. I don't want him thinking being Claimed is a burden. Ever. “That's not what I meant.” He blinks once.
“I know.” He leans forward to place a kiss on my forehead. The skin he touches with his lips tingles after the contact is broken.
“Hello? When are we leaving?”
“You're not going anywhere,” I snap. What is up with her. We shouldn't have done this here. This was why I was worried about telling her things. Because she was one of those people who jumped into the pool with both feet. Only this time the pool was filled with creatures who could suck all of her blood out of her body without even blinking.
“Oh come on. Don't give me that. I'm totally going.”
Just as it's about to get heated, there's a knock at the door.
“Viktor is here,” Peter says.
“That's kind of creepy,” Tex tells him as she prances to open the door, fluffing her hair before swinging it open and putting on her sexy face. Typical. Totally typical.