Her tone was polite, so I knew she hadn't spotted anything odd about me...yet. "Well, that's why I'm here actually." I looked away as she shut the door. My sister had repainted the atrocious living room so it no longer resembled split pea soup. It was now a pretty almond color. She'd done it pretty recently too; I could still smell the fumes.
As she bunched her brow at my statement, I pointed to her walls. "That's new. It looks nice." Furrowing my own brow as we both walked into the room, I shook my head. "Why didn't you call me? I would have helped you do it?"
Ashley grinned as she sat on my old couch. "Because you cheat." I grinned as I sat beside her, remembering how I could blur around her while I painted. As I laughed, she added, "Besides...I did have help."
She leaned back against the cushions and smiled as she played with a stand of her hair. It was nearly the same sort of satisfied, contentment that Tracey got on her face when she talked about Hot Ben. Leaning back into the cushions, I raised my eyebrows. "A boy?"
Her flush deepened and she looked down at a button coming loose from the couch. Laughing at her reaction, I slung my hand over her thigh. Her eyes widened and her head snapped up at me. I stopped laughing, remembering why I was really here. Her hand came up to tentatively touch my cheek. "You're cold...really cold," she whispered, her alive brown eyes glossing over with forming tears.
Sighing, knowing that even my breath was chilly, I felt my own tears sting. "I tried to tell you last night, but you were...out." My brows bunched again, wanting to ask her where she was, and if her painting friend had anything to do with her absence. But her eyes were only filling as she watched me, and I knew that now wasn't the time for girl talk. Cupping my hand over hers, I whispered, "I died last night...well, this morning."
She pulled her fingers away as both of her hands went to cover her mouth. As she gasped, her eyes flicked down to my silent chest. I sighed again, wishing I could make the defunct organ beat again, if only just for Ashley. Shaking her head, she brought her fingers to my neck. I exposed the skin to her as she searched for the scar that was no longer there. Her rough fingers felt along the artery in my neck after her visual inspection. I knew those veins were thick with blood, but they streamed, not pulsed, so Ashley's human fingers wouldn't feel the difference. To her, all she would register was that I didn't have a heartbeat. I was a walking, talking contradiction.
"Oh my god, Emma." Her eyes came back to mine as the tears finally spilled down her cheeks. Wrapping her arms around me, she brokenly whispered, "Were you scared?"
Feeling my own tears, I let down the wall of bravery that I'd kept up for my mom and children. "I was terrified. If Teren hadn't been there...I think I would have gone mad."
She held me back tighter, the hand rubbing circles in my body also slightly warming my dead flesh. "I'm so sorry, Em." Pulling back, she cupped my cheek again. "Did it hurt?"
Tilting her head, she bit her lip again. Watching her beautifully imperfect face twist in sympathy for me, I thought over the years of abuse her body had suffered since her accident. Especially in the beginning. Her recovery had been excruciating, a fate I would never wish on anyone. Shaking my head, I told her, "It was nothing...piece of cake."
She watched my eyes drifting over her body and she nodded, like she knew I'd never complain about pain after everything she'd gone through. Then she smirked a little at my answer, also knowing that I had a severe aversion to pain. She'd tried for years to get me to pierce my belly button with her. I'd adamantly refused. It was one of the reasons that she'd been so surprised that I let Teren bite me. But that was just...a different sort of pain.
Shaking her head at me, she reached out to hug me again. As I inhaled the soothing scent of her, she asked the one question that my mother would never think to ask. "What did you eat?"
I closed my eyes. I'd told her every part of Teren's conversion. She knew the side effects, she knew the risks. She was well aware that a starved, maniacal need to eat also came with everlasting life, and that if I hadn't caved to that, I wouldn't currently be sitting beside her. Sniffling, I pulled back and held her hands with mine. "Cows. Teren had some ready for me." I peeked my eyes up at her as she tilted her head, absorbing that.
Smiling slightly, the scarred skin buckling, she curiously asked, "Was it gross?"
Smiling wider, I shook my head. "No." Thinking back over that first kill, I remembered the sweetness, the relief. It was like being in a hundred and ten degree heat and having someone crack open a nice cold carbonated soda. It had been anything but gross. Just thinking about it made me a little hungry again. But then, the human part of me considered the whole situation. I was on my knees, in the dead of night, sucking the lifeblood from an animal that mindlessly munched on grass that had probably been pooped on at some point and time. Wrinkling my nose, I laughed out, "Yeah."
She laughed with me, then sighed and clasped my hands. "God, I'm so glad you made it. If you had died," she paused, blinking, "well, died-died, I mean, I don't know what I'd do." Her voice choked up and I cupped her cheek.
"I'm fine, Ash, better than ever." I once again considered leaving my family as I gazed at her. She was my best friend, aside from Teren. I couldn't imagine that suddenly not being near me every day.
Nodding, she leaned back into the cushions. "So, tell me, what's different now. No food?" She raised her eyebrows, curious again.
I sighed. "Just the liquid type."
She frowned, then laughed. "At least I'll always know what to make you when you come over for dinner."
I laughed at her finding a silver lining in what could honestly be a very hard reality to accept. But Ashley had accepted Teren years ago, and really, I was an extension of him. Nearly identical now. She knew what to expect because she'd been watching him for years. She didn't seem to want my life, a life I'd stupidly tried to force on her once, but she was open to whatever the details of my existence were now.
I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again. I love my sister.
Chapter 12 Dead and Well at Thirty
After finishing up with some of the details about exactly why I'd decided to not take the shot, the hour was over and Teren was pulling back into the drive. My sister couldn't hear the light hum of his car or my children excitedly exclaiming that they wanted Auntie Ash. With her hands folded over her lap, she absorbed everything that I'd told her about Starla's fate. As her head tilted to the side, her eyes unfocused while she thought. Mine could pick out the flecks of gold in her irises, like someone had sprinkled fairy dust in her eyes. It was remarkably beautiful.
Shaking her head, she refocused and looked over at me. "Poor Starla, I'm glad you could help her."
I smiled at my sister's warm heart. Starla had never really been overly friendly to either of us. Not rude or anything, but definitely not welcoming. Mostly she always seemed put out when she came around, like she'd rather be sunbathing at some resort where hot, oiled men brought you fresh blood with umbrella straws in them. "Yeah, she's...different, but I couldn't just let her die."
Twisting her lips at me, she laughed once, humorously. "So you offer to kill yourself." She raised an eyebrow. "Kind of dramatic of you."
I laughed and slung my arms around her, squeezing her tight to me. She shivered against my chilly flesh so I eased off a bit, but then she rested her head on mine and I relaxed as I held her. Hearing Teren unbuckling my kids, telling them over and over that they'd see Ashley in just a second, I quietly said, "We're just sitting in the living room, bring them on in."
Ashley lifted her head, giving me a bewildered expression that I knew I'd used on Teren a time or two. I started to explain that Teren was here, but the door swung open and I didn't need to. Ashley's eyes flicked over to the squeaking contraption right as two tiny beings dashed through it.
"Auntie Ash!" they both exclaimed in unison.
Ashley grinned and held her arms out as the twins dashed into them. She placed warm kisses on their giggling heads while Teren wrapped his arms around me. Leaning back into the loving safety of his arms, I watched my sister ask Nika and Julian all about their stay with grandma. As they excitedly told her everything that they'd already told us, I heard Teren whisper, "Did I give you enough time?" His voice was soft, his breath in my ear barely audible on a human level.
Hearing him just fine, I nodded against his chest. "Yeah...we talked."
He sighed and squeezed me, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. "And? How did she take it?"
Peeking up at him, I shrugged. "Like she handles everything." I looked back at the disfigured woman tickling our toddlers. "With a strength I hope to have some day."
I felt him chuckle against my body and twisted my head around to look at him again. Smirking, he raised an eyebrow. "I think you underestimate yourself." Watching my face, he smiled. As my sister amused herself by making Julian laugh by blowing raspberries on Nika's stomach, Teren tilted his head at me, his brows furrowing. "How are you? Getting hungry?"
I shook my head, but the second I focused on it, I could feel the dull ache in my stomach, the slight dryness in my throat. He raised an eyebrow and I shrugged. "Maybe, a little."
Nodding, he seemed well aware of how I really felt, and I suppose he was aware, since he'd gone through this already. "It gets better after the first couple of days. Then you'll only need to eat once or twice a day."
I leaned into him, feeling a little tired. "Back to the ranch then?"
Sighing, he kissed my head. "Yeah, it's just the best place for you to be right now, while you adjust."
Disengaging the kids from Ashley, I stood her up and gave her a final hug. Her hand brushed over my face, feeling my chill, and she shook her head. "I wouldn't have pictured your life turning out this way," she softly said.
Smiling sadly, I ran a finger across some of her scars; they were rough to my sensitive touch. "You either," I whispered.
Her eyes filled with an emotion that seemed more like joy than regret as her lips curved into a small smile. Shrugging, she cheerily said, "Well, at least we're both happy."
I nodded, grabbing Nika's hand as Teren grabbed Julian's. "No, Mommy, we don't wanna go." Nika's small eyes filled with huge tears at the thought of leaving my sister. Staring down at the tiny version of myself, I could clearly see the exhaustion in her features. Julian voiced his agreement and tried to squirm away from Teren, who scooped him up and slung him over his shoulder.
As I considered slumping her over my shoulder like the potato sack Teren had just turned Julian into, Ashley stepped down in front of her. Kneeling carefully, her joints stiffer than most people's, she cupped Nika's cheeks. "We'll hang out real soon, baby girl." Leaning into her, she brushed her nose together with Nika's; Julian giggled. "Miss you, love you."
Nika kissed her nose. "Love you too, Auntie Ash." Her lip twisted into a perfect pout. "I wanna stay."
Her lip quavered a little on the end, then her mood completely reversed and she started giggling near uncontrollably. Both Ash and I blinked at her reaction. Then we looked over to Teren and Julian. Teren had slipped him down him down his back and was now holding him by his ankles. Julian was grinning ear to ear as all the blood rushed to his little face. Teren chuckled and gently swayed him back and forth.