"Are we bad, Daddy?"
He blinked, looking up at me before swinging his eyes back to hers. I twisted her face to make her look at me. "Of course not, baby. Why would you think that?"
She rubbed her eyes and sniffed. "Movie said vampires bad." Huge tears lit her eyes as her lip trembled. "We're vampires."
Closing my eyes, I pulled her tight to me, kissing her head. "Oh, baby, no." Tears stung my own eyes as I considered what that horribly awful movie sounded like to children that had no idea the world thought of them as evil. Shaking my head against her, I rocked her in my arms.
Pulling back, I cupped both her cheek and Julian's; his eyes were sad too, as he finally understood what had so upset his sister. "You two are the most incredible little people I know. You're the best and there is nothing wrong with what you are. You are absolutely not bad. Okay?"
They both nodded, Julian crawling into my lap to hug me along with his sister. Teren ran a hand along their backs, giving me a warm smile. Feeling those tears dangerously close to falling, I shook my head at him. "Soundproofing sounds like a great idea."
He smiled wider and nodded, a finger coming up to wipe the moisture from under my eyes. "I'll tuck them back in," he murmured, taking Julian from me. I nodded and gave him Nika, who was already falling back asleep in my arms.
Kissing each member of my family a final time, I hastily made it out the door before my tears started falling. Leaning against the wall as Teren started humming a lullaby, guilt filled me. I'd never imagined that I'd be the indirect cause of my child's pain. As I ran my hands down my face, I wondered if she'd need therapy when she got older because of me.
Alanna breezed into the hallway as I listened to my children yawn and my husband comfort. With my eyes closed, I felt her step before me and place a hand on my arm. Peeking up at her, I felt a tear fall on my cheek. She smiled as she wiped it off. "Not as easy as it seems, is it?"
I shook my head. "It's so strange. I want them to see the world, and I never want them to leave my sight." Tilting my head at her, I sighed, "I don't know how you did it? How did you ever let Teren go?"
She raised an eyebrow at me and glanced at the door that her son was behind. "Did I?" She laughed a little and I considered all of the mothering that Teren put up with from her, sometimes grudgingly.
Chuckling myself, I pulled away from the wall. "I want to give them every opportunity, but I never want them to feel pain." I shrugged. "With what they are though...that just isn't possible. How do you deal with knowing what they'll be facing?"
Alanna shook her head and shrugged. "You find a way." Her warm palm came up to my cheek, cupping it. "Raising a child isn't easy. You beat yourself up over every mistake, every tiny little thing that goes wrong. But you do the best you can." Sighing, she swept me into her arms. "And if you fail...you try again tomorrow."
Chapter 13 Soundproof
After a week, I felt okay enough to head back to my life. Besides, I didn't want to miss any more work. Not for unplanned absences, anyway. If I was going to get away from the office, it was going to be for that never-got-around-to vacation that Teren and I had vaguely planned together years ago. Preferably somewhere hot and muggy, since the temperature extreme would feel amazing on my cool skin.
I'd been a little nervous about what I'd chow on in the city, since cows weren't exactly walking around in most people's backyards, but I should have known better. Alanna sent me out the door with enough chilled or frozen packages of blood to last me practically until the next decade. And I was pretty sure that she'd be swinging by for the first few months to resupply me if I did get low. Alanna was just incapable of not nurturing people, and now that Teren's thirst level had tapered off, she was more than happy to make up for his independence with me.
Getting ready for work on my first Monday back from my "illness," Teren gave me some tips that he'd used when he'd gone back to work. Cocking an eyebrow at him as he dressed for work, I whispered, "Are you serious...the bathroom? You told me you never needed to eat at work."
Smiling as he buttoned up his dress shirt, hiding his glorious skin with each fastening, he shook his head. "Need, no, but it did...take the edge off. And yes, the bathroom. It's the most private place to do it, trust me."
I shook my head, my face incredulous at what he'd done, at what he was asking me to do. "So, when you got hungry at work, you took a small thermos of blood into the restroom and took a sip in a stall, where people...do unpleasant stuff?"
Chuckling at me, his shirt completely fastened, but loose over his slacks, he sat beside where I was sprawled out on our bed. Leaning over, he brushed aside some hair from my forehead; I could smell the soap from his shower on his fingers. "It's more secluded than your car or an empty office. And people generally leave each other alone in there...as long as you don't take too long."
He chuckled again and I sighed, not relishing the smells that would be mixing with my bloody lunch. Looking at the disgust in my face, he tapped my nose with his finger. "Don't think about it. Just do what you need to do to get through the day."
I sighed again, reaching my arms around his waist. "And you're sure the temperature thing won't be noticed?"
Shrugging, he lightly kissed me. "No one ever questioned my sudden change." Pulling back to look at me, he cupped my cheek. "The average human being isn't looking for a supernatural answer to life's little oddities. If you act completely normal, they will think you are completely normal." He smirked and shrugged. "As Great-Gran said, they're sort of like the cattle...easily herdable."
I pushed back on his chest as I grunted at him. "Please don't start quoting Halina."
Laughing softly, he kissed my head as he stood up. "I'll have my phone close all day, just text me if you're having any problems."
Exhaling nervously, I shook my head. "Yeah...okay."
He watched me lovingly as he tucked in his shirt. "You'll do great, Emma, like you always do."
I nodded and watched as he quickly finished. Giving me one last hug, he made to leave for work. Striding through the door, he suddenly stopped and looked back at me. Furrowing his brows, a serious expression washed over his face. "Most people will ignore it...but not all." His eyes flickering over my body, he shook his head. "Please try and be cautious of the not normal human beings."
I bit my lip and nodded. Yeah, the last thing Teren and I needed was another hunter on our tail.
Pulling into the lot after dropping off my kids at Mom's, I breathed in a deep, unneeded breath. I could do this. After all, I'd already handled dying, how bad could this be?
Walking in through the front doors, the smell hit me first. I'd never noticed it before, but a building full of warm-blooded humans, smelled like warm blood. It was everywhere, like it seeped from their pores.
Smiling, I listened to the thumping heartbeats around me. It was like walking through a chocolate factory - everyone just smelled so good. On the way to the elevator, I found myself lingering to talk to people that I usually didn't talk to on a regular basis. I just wanted to listen to their hearts. Recognizing that I was noticing people in a way that maybe I shouldn't, I forced myself to stop enjoying the flow of blood around me and concentrate on getting to my office.
Digging through my purse, I texted Teren as I stepped out of the elevator onto my floor. 'Everyone smells good...is that normal? Am I okay to be here?'
I hadn't taken two steps before he responded. 'Yes, it's normal. You're more attuned to them now and you'll notice them in a way you didn't before. That will fade as you get used to it. You are still in control of your actions, though. Duck to the bathroom if you need...anything.'
Cringing and placing a hand over the conveniently sized thermos in my mammoth purse, I typed back a thank you.
Ignoring how the mailman was a little mouthwatering now, I kept my head down and hurried to my desk. It wasn't as if I suddenly wanted to chow down on my coworkers or anything, I definitely did not, but they were just about the yummiest things I could think of, all clumped together like...well, cattle.
Laughing a little, I nearly ran right into Tracey. I instinctually inhaled in surprise and her particular scent hit me. More familiar than my coworkers, since I'd spent a decent amount of time with her pre-death, it calmed me down some. Her placing her fingers on my upper arms did not. Wanting to pull away but knowing that Teren was right and casualness was the key to inconspicuousness, I remained where I was under her grasp. Her dull senses wouldn't be able to feel me under my blazer anyway.
Glancing between my eyes, she raised a pale eyebrow at me. "You alright? Back to human?"
My eyes widened at her implication, then I realized that she was referencing the flu I'd supposedly been getting over. "Yeah, much better, thank you." I coughed a little, hoping for space. It worked like a charm; she dropped her fingers and took a step back.
Grinning at me, she shook her head. "Well, glad you're better."
Merrily ducking into my old cubicle, she absentmindedly admired her engagement ring as she sat down. Murmuring at a level she wouldn't hear, I wryly let out, "Yeah, all back to normal."
Hearing Clarice grunt in disapproval as I stood outside our joint office talking to someone she considered a subordinate, I sighed and shook my head at Tracey. "Duty calls." Tracey blinked at me. She had a lot of things going for her - great job, great fiancee, amazing looks - but she didn't have my super hearing.
With no one else coming anywhere near as close to me as Tracey had earlier, my Monday morning went by pretty uneventfully. But around lunchtime I did start to feel a little peckish. My throat drying up and my stomach tightening, I figured it would be prudent to stay on top of this, less I cave and take a bite out of Clarice's pudgy, judgmental ass.
Waiting for Clarice to leave for her standard forty-three minute lunch break and faking that I was swamped with work when Tracey asked if I wanted a bite with her, I felt real hunger pangs by the time I carefully pulled the container out of my bag. Still not thrilled over drinking where people peed, I wished I could down the plasma treat right there in the office. But, it wasn't worth the risk of someone seeing me.
Sighing, I texted Teren a quick message. 'Going in, wish me luck.'
His reply was immediate. 'You'll be fine. Wash your hands afterwards...bathrooms are disgusting.'
Laughing, I put the phone away and tucked the warm mug under my blazer. It heated the side of me and I almost growled at just the thought of that warmth sliding down my starting-to-ache throat. I had more control than that though.
Walking down the hall with something that I knew would freak out every person in the building made my nerves spike. By the time I was in the bathroom, triple checking under every stall door, my hands were shaking. As I closed a stall door, I knew my alive heart would have been pounding. Even without it, my icy veins felt even icier. I nearly felt like I was doing something nefarious; spying or embezzling, or stealing office supplies.
Then I took the lid off my drink and inhaled. Unhindered by bone, flesh, skin and clothing, the direct smell of blood was nearly overwhelming. I let my fangs crash down to where they wanted to be and immediately tilted the cup back. Euphoria flooded through me. I had to put my hand against the door to steady myself, the taste was so amazing. Sweet, tangy, heady, it was better than any martini lunch I'd ever had; worth every damn germ in this place, not that germs really mattered to me now anyway.