But Teren didn't. He couldn't. As we rolled into the beginning of April, and my 28th week, Teren started panicking. He didn't take my upcoming due date as a good sign - that I'd make it, or at least make it close enough so that the babies would be able to live on their own, and everything would be fine. No, he started freaking out because my twenty-sixth birthday was in two weeks. To him, that was it. That was the end of my life, and subsequently, the end of theirs.
I felt sort of stuck. As trapped emotionally as I was physically. I knew that physically, I needed to stay at the ranch, and not join Teren on these little outings, for the safety of mankind. In case I died and reanimated. If that happened, and Teren's blood was enough to bring me back as a vampire, I'd go into a bloodbath-frenzy and chow down anything with a pulse. And as much as it pained me to think about it, I wasn't sure if I had the same level of self-control that Teren had shown he had. I had the horrid feeling in the pit of my stomach, that got exceptionally strong when I was tipping back a bovine cold one, well, warm one, that I wouldn't stop, even if the human in question were family. That thought terrified me into staying put.
I also knew why Teren needed to go. Emotionally, I knew I needed to let him do whatever was necessary to try and save the lives inside of me, but I couldn't help the feeling that all he was doing was wasting our precious time. If nothing could be done, and I was going to die anyway, then we'd wasted weeks that we could have spent in each other's arms. Assuming Teren didn't get himself killed first.
A phone call from Tracey a couple of nights later, only emphasized the unease I felt about Teren's increasingly volatile meetings. She'd called me right after I'd hung up the phone on my mother, Mom both worrying about how bored I probably was (which I wasn't, since I could get up and move around just fine, better than ever actually), and delighted in all the time she was getting to spend with her four-legged grandchild.
Hearing Alanna humming outside the front door, I answered the home phone, hoping it was Teren. It wasn't. "Hi, can I talk to Emma?"
Recognizing Tracey's voice, I merrily exclaimed, "Hey, Trace, it's me."
She didn't respond to that right away and I felt the tension curl into the line. I also heard her heartbeat surge, even through the phone. When she spoke, her voice was tight. "Is Teren trying to get Ben killed?"
Panic flooded my body, my heartbeat accelerating so fast and so suddenly, that I knew my revved up vamp blood was taking over. Not wanting shock to start my conversion, I exhaled in a long, slow breath, trying to ease my body back to normalcy. From outside, Alanna stopped humming and asked if I was okay. I whispered that I was, just before I finally answered Tracey.
"Uh, what do you mean?" I crossed my fingers, hoping Tracey was still oblivious to what her boyfriend's true extracurricular activities were. I didn't relish sending Halina to her doorstep.
She exhaled with clear irritation. "The fighting, Emma. You know, the training stuff." I heard clicking and pictured Tracey's long, high heeled legs pacing back and forth in her kitchen. Before I could ask her what she was talking about, she sighed and continued. "You should see his body, Emma. Yeah, he's even more ripped than before, but the black and blue patches are not attractive...and can't be good for him." Her voice trembled a bit, as her true concern showed.
"Oh, well, Teren..." I trailed off, since I really wasn't sure what Ben and Teren's cover story to her was. I kicked myself for not listening to those conversations better, not that Teren had been around much to share them with me.
Tracey sighed again, her voice quavering. "And his face...did you see his black eye?"
I sighed. Yeah, I had seen that. "Sorry, Trace. I'll talk to Teren." I wasn't sure what I was talking to him about, but I'd definitely try talking to him again.
She plopped down heavily somewhere, her clothes rustling. I heard the sounds of shoes being slipped off and thought maybe she'd gone to her room. Her voice relaxed as well as her heart. "Yeah, okay, thanks." She exhaled again and I heard a mattress compressing as she lied down. "I don't know how he ever talked me into this, Emma. I mean, really, it's sort of ridiculous."
I leaned back in my favorite plush chair in the library, one hand going to stroke my belly as I pulled my feet up. Outside, I heard Alanna continue her humming. Upstairs, Imogen clacked away, knitting. "I know, Trace. Men," I harrumphed. I still didn't know what they'd told her, but condemning the male species was usually a proper response to any female conversation.
Apparently it was. She laughed and I heard her roll over on the bed. I could even hear her feet bang together. "Right. I mean, UFC fighting? Seriously?" She laughed again, a little condescendingly. "I know he teaches kickboxing at the gym sometimes and works pretty regularly at that dojo in Chinatown, but Ultimate Fighting?" She laughed again, heartier. "What is he now, Bruce Lee?"
I closed my eyes and cursed my husband. Not for their ridiculous cover story, but for the fact that they knew Hot Ben might get tossed around enough that he'd need such a violent cover story. This was really getting out of control. "Yeah, Trace...kind of absurd." I wondered how far they'd take the cover story. Was Hot Ben actually going to try out?
She snorted. "Yeah, and Teren sparring with him. Who knew the metro sexual was so aggressive in the ring?" She paused for a second after she said that. "Uh, no offense or anything."
I laughed at her analysis of Teren. I'd sort of accused him of the same thing once - he was just very...put together, for a guy. But that wasn't what made me laugh. No, it was Tracey, the girl whose boyfriend could shoot Calvin Klein ads, calling my boyfriend metro sexual. She laughed with me when she realized I wasn't mad at her comment, then my laughter died as what they'd told her sunk in.
I sighed and then she did too. I heard her sit up on her bed. "I know they're both really into this, Em, but maybe you could ask Teren to ease up?" She sighed again, concern filling her again. "You know, I just don't like to see him hurt. And I'm sure you don't like seeing Teren hurt either."
I sighed, remembering Teren's ripped clothing, the dried blood that I knew had come from his already healed body. "No, I don't. I'll talk to him again, Trace. I promise."
Her tone brightened and she stood up, her feet padding across her carpet. "Good! Maybe if they do, I can see a bit more of my boyfriend." I heard her walk into the bathroom as I mentally agreed with her - I'd love to see more of my guy too. She started running water and I heard her lightly giggle. "Did I mention we moved in together?"
Giggling a little myself, I let my tension disappear, if just for a moment. "No, I had to hear it from Ben." I relaxed back into my chair, wishing I had some blood to sip, and smiled at Tracey through the phone. "Spill."
Tracey giggled as she got ready for her bath and proceeded to tell me all about it. As she went into the details of him asking her to live with him in the middle of one of their adventurous sex acts, I felt the stress slide off of me, and let myself just be a girlfriend. I laughed along with her story and commented in all the right places, and silently thanked Tracey for unknowingly easing my mind. Sometimes, I wished I could tell her how often she did that.
I could have used Tracey's easing powers that Saturday afternoon, when Teren, after being gone for most of the week and all of that morning, rushed home with Ben following as close on his heels as a human could. Having felt him approach, I was waiting in the entryway, clutching the nak*d woman statue to stop myself from blurring to the parking lot and destroying his car again. He haltingly walked into the room, restraint clear in his features as he took jerky steps towards me.
We were trying to learn to control the strong pull we felt towards each other when we were reunited. It was a constant struggle, something we had to contain, much like I always had to contain my teeth from popping down.
At human speed he walked over to me, his movements not looking natural and breezy, but like a bad stop-motion movie, halting and restarting. I smelled the outside world on his clothes as he got near me. Using that to control myself (and also using the lingering fire in my belly, from the fact that he was gone so often), I closed my eyes and took in long pulls. The smell of the bay danced on his flesh, along with the unmistakable smell of fish. He'd been on the wharf today.
I heard Ben enter the house and sigh softly, muttering something about how weird that was, before turning to walk down a hallway that led to one of the side buildings. I tried to listen to him for as long as I could, trying to ground myself, but eventually the pull of Teren was too strong and I ignored Ben. I ignored everyone - Imogen and Alanna talking upstairs, Jack working on one of the cars in the driveway, and Halina's stone-silent sleeping presence - everyone.
No one existed but Teren. My anger faded as my breaths increased. I could hear his increase as well as the draw pulled him closer to me. When he was a few inches from me, we both lost control. Then it was much like it always was when we got together; our restraint dissolved as the tension became unbearable. Then it was searching hands and probing tongues, small gasps and heavy groans. Then he was pressing his hard body against mine as my fingers tangled into his dark hair. Then it was a rush of desire and my mind begging him to take me. And it could be anywhere, right here on the rim of the fountain would be fine, just...take me.
Then duty and obligation calmed his breath and he gently, but firmly, pushed me away. Panting, I opened my eyes and stared up at him, disappointed and grateful for his level of control. His lips inches from mine, minutely coming forward, before pulling back again, his eyes struggled with easing the rush in his body.
I did what I could to help, still not wanting to abuse this amazing draw. I stepped back from him, removing my hands from his body and holding them at my sides. Every fiber of my body screamed at me to touch him. I ignored it and bit my lip, containing a whimper in my frustration. I knew this would soon pass, but it was torture to not give in. Especially when the memory of the few times we had caved, started filling my head. In this state, cli**x was effortless and easily repeatable. My body was yearning for it.
He closed his eyes, inhaling deep. I knew he was trying to ground himself too, but I also knew he'd smell my desire in the air, and I knew that wasn't helping anything. He bit his lip and started shaking. "Emma," he said, his voice shaky as well. "I have to...help Ben. We have a lead with a very short window." He opened his eyes, they were pained. "There's a chance that they're leaving their nest at nightfall, and it will take hours to get to them. I'm sorry, but I need to reach them before they leave. I don't have time for this."
My eyes flared, my anger cooling my desire. "You never have time."
He straightened in front of me, his body coming under control as my tone eased his desire. "You know why I have to do this." His eyes flashed down to my stomach and I felt myself flush.
Yes, I knew why. I was reminded with every kick, every squirm, every thumping heartbeat, why. I couldn't escape the reasons - they were with me constantly. But I missed him...and I worried for him. He took a step back from me as I struggled for something to say to that. Not having anything, I watched him turn away from me and follow where Hot Ben had gone.