However, the part of me that actually cares about her wins the day. I wasn't lying when I told her she deserved the whole package. She is selfless, kind, beautiful, smart, good, and in so many other ways out of my league.
I don't know why she seems to care for me, even just a little, but I shut my eyes and try to drown in the peaceful feeling that I get whenever she's around. It's more than the lust I used to feel whenever I bumped into her. It's like the amplification of that feeling I had the very first night I saw her, with the broken Porsche. Peaceful. Pleasant. Beautiful. Good.
As I listen to the room around me, I think that I can hear her voice. She sounds upset, and it kills me that I’m the reason why.
My back is sore from pressing on the door, so I rock forward, leaning over my knees with my head propped in my hands.
"I f**ked up... I f**ked it all up... I f**ked up..."
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can hear myself sobbing and my dad yelling and I see all that blood.
I inhale deeply.
Libby. Think of Libby.
I've got her face pinned to the forefront of my mind like a motherfucking screensaver when the phone rings. Not my cell phone, but my land line. Shit.
*
~ELIZABETH~
I don't want to leave, but I'm not sure what else to do. Hunter doesn't want me here, and I can't force him to, regardless of how much I want to stay. I want to walk back through the door, and I would, but this is the second time he's said I should leave, and Priscilla was just here. He has a whole life outside me, and if he means what he says about not wanting to take things any further with me, I don't see the point of trying to force myself on him.
I'm packing my bags, feeling numb and desolate, when Suri calls.
"Lizzy—hi.” She pauses for a second. “How are things?"
“They're good. I'm headed home.”
“Really? Wow. So I guess things must have progressed?”
“Kind of,” I hedge. I don't even try to go into it, because I can tell by her voice that something's wrong. My stomach's tied in knots, because I'm worried that it's Cross.
“Is something going on? You sound weird,” I say.
She sighs. “Girl, you always know, don't you?”
“I'm your bestie. That's my job. So spit it out.”
“It's Cross. He's saying...what happened that night wasn't an accident. That someone did it. He's upset, like he pulled out all his IVs and cursed at Nanette, and then he told me to leave because he needs some time to think." Her voice breaks on the word 'leave' and I know something is going on with the two of them.
“Wow.” I clutch the phone a little tighter. Cross has had some serious issues with his father, but I don't think he has any real enemies. Does he? I lean against the bedpost, feeling sick—over this, over Hunter. Over everything. “Is he doing better now? I mean, when you left was he...”
“I didn't leave. I'm outside, in a waiting area. I think they sedated him. He was really upset.” She drags in a teary breath and I can hear a sniffle, followed by the rustle I'm sure must be a tissue. "I'm sorry to burden you with this while you're at Hunter's, but I didn't know who else to call. He said that when he left to go...after the fight the two of you had, there was this guy messing with his bike. Like, touching it and stuff. The guy told him he liked the bike, and when Cross tried to go, he tried to get him to go back in and have another drink. It doesn't sound like much, but Cross says when he got onto the road he had trouble steering. He said the steering had been messed up, and the breaks were messed up too, but not completely. So he didn't flip like he might have, he just lost control of the steering...because of how much he had to drink.”
“Holy shitballs. Did he know this guy?”
“Cross said he looked like someone he used to know. I asked if it was an enemy or something, and he acted kind of weird. I don't know if we can trust him, though, Liz. He thinks you two had a fight because he was jealous over you messing around with Hunter.”
“He was,” I whisper.
Suri huffs her breath out, and I can feel her censure. Her irritation that I kept it from her. “I guess I don't know anything.” The next second, I'm left there standing with the dead line in my hand, and no way home. How nice.
A phone rings, and for a moment I think it’s Suri. It’s actually the landline on the table in the corner. It rings once, twice, three times before I reluctantly lift the earpiece.
"Hello," I hear Hunter say. His voice is extra low and slightly raspy, and if I'm not mistaken, I can hear the echo of it through the door that joins our rooms.
Almost immediately, there is another voice.
"Hunter." It sends a shiver down my spine, because I know that voice from TV. Hunter's father. Shit. "Are you alone?" Conrad West's voice has always been a little creepy: a cross between Darth Vader and a used car salesperson.
"I'm at my house and yeah, I'm by myself. What can I do for you, Sir?" Hunter sounds weary. Under that I hear a ring of irritation.
"It's been a long time since I've heard from you," Conrad says.
"Yep."
"You feel no obligation to keep in touch with your father? Your sister says she never hears from you either.”
"What do you want, Dad?"
"What do you think?"
"I don't know." His voice tightens. "You wanted to wish me a good day?"
"You know damn well why I called!” Conrad snaps. “You're in water hot enough to boil a crayfish. Is there anything you care to tell me?"
"I don't care to tell you shit. That's why I never call."
I can practically feel Conrad's anger through the phone line. My palm around the phone starts sweating as Hunter’s dad growls, "You don't want to talk? Then allow me. You are being investigated for the murder of a woman named Sara Meyer. Does that ring a bell?" Conrad's voice has gotten more Southern; he's practically drawling. "Sometime between the night you engaged her services and the next morning, she disappeared. Right out of your bed. She was found dead last night in a ditch in Arizona, with your cuff link in her cold, dead fingers.”
“I didn’t—”
“That is immaterial, Hunter. You can't be investigated. Do you understand how badly you've f**ked up?"
I wait for Hunter to come up cursing like he normally does, and I'm surprised when the line is eerie quiet.
"Okay, then let me spell it out” Rita is dead because of you. She died before her time because of you. Because you couldn't learn to quit pushing that woman's buttons.” I don’t understand what exactly Conrad is saying, but I’m shocked. “Do you want to see your hands in cuffs, Hunter? Are you intentionally trying to ruin your life, because you're doing exceedingly well?” Hunter says nothing, and his dad continues. “You tend to do that. Ruin things. Well let me tell you, this sort of scandal is below our family.