“Did you find them?” I raise an eyebrow. Rick shakes his head.
“No, but I found your little friend.”
I’m confused for a second until I see his smug grin.
“You know, you should have said that your ‘great sex’ that you’ve been having is with your new dildo.” Rick smiles, an evil, disgusting smile. He’s so sure that he is God’s gift to women. It makes me want to puke.
And then he tosses it to me. Rick was holding Geronimo in his bare hands? I’m going to have to swab it with alcohol before its next use. Or maybe I’ll just buy a new one.
“Oh, this,” I reply, as nonchalantly as I can while holding a giant dildo in my hand. “This is what I use on the nights when I’m too tired to go out. My new boyfriend wears me out.”
Rick stares at me, trying to decide if I’m telling him the truth or not.
“If you really do have a new boyfriend,” he says, “Then I need to meet him if he’s going to be around Sophie. That’s in our divorce agreement. YOU put that in our divorce agreement.”
I smile angelically. Or I hope it is angelically.
“Yes, I did, didn’t I? And when I decide that it’s time for Sophie to meet him, I’ll arrange a meeting with you, as well.”
Rick glares at me. “I can’t wait to tell your newest victim all about you.”
I roll my eyes and start to reply when Sophie comes out from her bedroom. I shove Geronimo behind my back.
“Can you guys stop arguing please?” she demands. “I hate it. I thought it was going to stop when you got divorced.”
I instantly feel guilty, particularly given what I’m holding. Mom of the year, right here.
“I’m sorry, Soph,” I tell her sincerely. “I didn’t know you could hear.”
She glances at me. “Of course I can hear. I’m not deaf and you’re right outside of my room. And dad, stay out of mom’s room. It’s not your bedroom anymore. Her dildos are her business, not yours.”
I want to freaking die. My cheeks flood with color and Rick glances at me, laughter in his eyes. Sophie didn’t mean to make him happy with that remark, but she so, so did. I’m seething inside as Rick makes gestures behind Sophie’s back of himself using a dildo. Only, he’s pretending to be me, obviously.
So, obviously, I do what any mature women would do. I make a motion that I’m stabbing him in the head with a butcher knife. But in this case, I’m using my dildo.
We both drop our hands when Sophie turns abruptly around. “You know there’s a mirror in front of us, right?”
Fuck. She’s right. I should definitely know, since I’m the one who hung it at the end of the hall.
Mom of the year, right freaking here.
She rolls her eyes and turns around, dragging her over-night bag behind her. In the kitchen, she turns and kisses my cheek.
“Are you going to be alright?” she asks. I am surprised by her moment of thinking outside of herself. Teenagers are, as a whole, self-absorbed monsters. I smile at her.
“I’ll be fine,” I tell her. “Really. Your dad and I are fine. We just argue from time to time.”
And pretend to kill each other in mime.
With dildos.
That’s normal, right?
She shakes her head again. “Okay. I’ll be home tomorrow. I have my cell if you need me.”
“I’m fine, honey,” I insist. “Honestly.”
She smiles and leaves with her father, who doesn’t say another word. I can’t believe that Sophie is concerned for me. Is my little monster growing up into a compassionate human being?
I am smiling to myself at that thought when I remember Shade. Colby. Crap.
I drop Geronimo back into my room and then hurry back out to the patio to find him settled into a lounger, scrolling through his phone.
“Hi,” he grins. “Everything okay?”
I smile back.
“Everything is fine. Want to go in the house? Should we go out and eat or should we order in… or?”
He shrugs. “Whatever you were planning to do.”
I was going to order takeout, eat every bit of it, watch a chick-flick so that I can cry my guts out in order to stabilize my emotional health and then probably use the services of Geronimo.
But I don’t say that.
“I was just going to get Chinese,” I tell him. “And then eat it in front of the TV.”
“Sounds like heaven,” he tells me. “You know what? There’s an old horror movie marathon on tonight.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Are you trying to say we should watch it because I’m old and so I’ll feel right at home?”
He looks appalled. “No, of course not! I---“
I interrupt. “I’m kidding, obviously.” I laugh. “I’m not old. I’m in my sexual prime, remember?” I smile. “Old horror movies? You like those?”
He nods. “My dad and I used to stay up late and watch them when I was little. It’s a good memory that I have.”
“And you don’t have any good memories of him now?”
For some reason, it sounded like that is what he meant. He shrugs.
“My dad and I just don’t see eye to eye right now. He wants me to do things that I don’t want to do. But I’m not exactly sure what I want to do, so that’s the problem.”
“Does he know about this?” I gesture toward him, but he knows what I mean.
“He doesn’t know about Shade. Hell no. No one in my family does.”
I nod as I open the patio door and we walk in.
“That must get stressful.”
I pour us each a drink.
“Not so much,” Colby answers. “I just keep my life compartmentalized. It’s pretty easy.”
“Again, can you give me lessons?” I ask with a small laugh. Shade laughs too.
“I already gave you a lesson last night,” he answers. “Isn’t one lesson a week enough?”
Memories from last night flood through me and weaken my knees. And I have to agree.
“You’re right. This pupil is ready for a rest. Come on- I’ll show you to the media room.”