“Hoping never really got us anywhere, did it?”
I shook my head. Growing up as we did, we learned real quick to get on a first-name basis with reality. Things like hope and aspirations had seemed like dreams and fantasies.
Rider’s fingers kept moving along the knot and before I knew it, he’d worked the bun loose. My hair fell past my shoulders, a tangled mess of waves. “I like it down,” he said, and the hollows of his cheeks pinked as he dropped his hand. His fingers grazed my upper arm. “Though I kind of miss the orange. Made it easy to pick you out in a crowd.”
“Thanks.”
He laughed. “Ah, I’m lying. Still easy to pick you out. A mile away,” he added, almost as an afterthought.
“Because I’m shorter...than everyone in a crowd,” I replied drily.
His gaze flickered over my face in that strange, concentrated way. “No, not that at all.” Casting his gaze to my hands, his brows lowered. “So how have your first three days at school been?”
Only three days? Felt longer than that. I raised a shoulder. “Okay.”
“That’s not very convincing.”
Lifting my gaze to his, I suddenly thought of Paige. I pulled away, putting space between us. How had I forgotten about her? I’d been caught off guard by Rider’s sudden appearance and the condition he’d been in, but that wasn’t a good enough excuse.
I glanced over at him, a hundred questions rising to the surface. One of them being why he’d come to me instead of Paige in the first place.
My heart started pounding. Part of me didn’t want to bring her up, because if he didn’t, then I could still... What? What could I still do? Even if we never talked about Paige, it didn’t change reality. And his having a girlfriend didn’t change what we were. Which was friends.
I drew in a deep breath. “You...you have a...girlfriend, right?”
“What?” Rider stared at me a moment and then he shook his head. “That kind of came out of nowhere.”
True. I didn’t let that deter me. “It’s...it’s the girl in our speech class.”
Rider stared at me a moment. “You’re talking about Paige. Yeah, we’ve been seeing each other.”
Folding my hands in my lap, I smiled nervously. “That’s...that’s good.”
He looked away, lips pursed. “We’ve known each other for a while. She’s known Hector since elementary school, so she’s always been around, you know?”
I really didn’t know, but I could imagine.
“And she’s pretty cool. Not uptight,” he said, and I wondered if he thought I was uptight. “I can...just chill with her, not really worry about anything. Anyway, we started dating last spring.” He stopped and looked over at me. “How did you know? Did she talk to you?”
Oh, man. I didn’t want him to know about the conversation from today. I closed my hands and told myself that none of this was any of my business. “No. I just... I saw the way you two were...um, together the first day of class.”
His brows rose. “What way was that?”
Looking away, I sort of wished I’d kept my mouth shut. “She was very...touchy with you.”
“Huh.” There was a pause. “I’m touchy with you and that doesn’t mean we’re seeing each other.”
Icy air hit the center of my chest as his words slammed into my consciousness. Whoa. He had a point, a very good point, and while I didn’t think he meant anything when he’d said that, that icy air burned nonetheless.
“I mean,” he said, knocking his shoulder into mine, “you and I have always been like that.”
“True,” I murmured, smiling again as I looked up at him.
Our eyes held for a few seconds and his narrowed. “She didn’t say anything to upset you, did she?”
“Why...why would you think that?”
One side of his lips kicked up. “She’s— Let’s just say Paige is a tough girl.”
The burn radiated out from my chest. Of course Rider would be into a tough girl. He was tough, and Paige had no problem putting me in my much deserved place today. If I’d been in her shoes, I would’ve sat there and said nothing.
“So she can be a little rough on people,” he finished.
I shrugged.
His gaze turned sharp as he focused on me. “Did she say something to you? I can talk to her. Make sure she knows how—”
“No.” I jerked, startled by myself. The word came out a little louder than I intended. I practically shouted it. “You don’t need to talk with her.”
A look of doubt crossed his features. “Mallory—”
“It’s okay.” Wiggling to the edge of the couch, I flicked one of the unused cotton balls across the table. “I mean...she didn’t say anything to me. You don’t have to say anything to her.”
I looked over my shoulder at him, meaning what I was saying. As much as I...as I loved that he retained that fierce protective streak, I couldn’t rely on him always being there to have my back. For the last four years, he hadn’t been there, and we couldn’t go back. I couldn’t allow it, no matter how easy it would be. “I don’t...I don’t want it like that.”
“How do you want it?” he asked and then raised his fingers to his brow, rubbing around the cut. His lips twisted in a harsh facade of a smile. “Don’t answer that.”
I wasn’t sure what that even meant. Confused, I stared at him, feeling like I’d missed something really important.