"Stefan? What's happening to me?" Violet asked, her voice cracking.
I laced Violet's ice-cold fingers through mine. "You're in transition. You were kil ed by a vampire," I said. "Damon."
"Vampires?" Violet said, her voice tripping over the word. "That's just from storybooks. What are you talking about?"
"No they're real. I'm a vampire. And so is Damon. He's my brother. My true brother," I said, staring straight ahead. I hated what I was saying, but knew it would be far worse to keep the truth a secret. "We look human. Once, we were human. We grew up together, laughed together, and were a family. But not anymore. We survive only because we drink the blood of others. I choose animals. But my brother doesn't."
"Does that mean I'm a vampire now, too, then?" she asked, her voice shaking.
I shook my head. "No," I said firmly. "Damon kil ed your human body, but gave you some of his blood first. To complete the transition and to ful y become a vampire, you have to drink human blood. If you don't, your body wil die," I said. The wal papered room felt like it was closing in on me.
"But, Stefan, I don't understand. If there's a way to live then why . . ." She trailed off, her voice sounding so innocent and lost that I felt my stomach clench.
"Because it's not that simple. Being a vampire is not like being alive. You're consumed by your desire for blood, your desire to kil . You become a completely different person . . ." I trailed off as Violet pressed her hand to my chest, gently at first, and then more and more insistently. I resisted the urge to pul away. It was an intimate gesture, one you'd imagine between lovers.
"I don't . . . I can't . . ." she said, horror dawning on her face as she continued to graze my chest with her hands. "There's no heartbeat," she exclaimed, now understanding what I'd been trying to tel her.
"No," I said patiently.
"What if I want to . . . turn?" she asked. "What if I want to become like you?"
"I would help you. That's your choice to make. But it's something to think about seriously before you do. It's not a real life. It's not a blessing to live forever. You witness so many people dying, and you're always a creature of darkness. You have to live in the shadows, only emerging at night.
And you shouldn't have to live like that," I said, squeezing her hand. "You belong in the light." Violet's sobs overtook her, and I knew she grasped the reality she faced.
"I was just starting to live . . ." she said wistful y and rubbed her neck gently, as if she were remembering a long-ago caress from a lover. Her hand dropped back to her chest. Then she looked at me, tears in her eyes.
"When?" she asked.
"Soon," I admitted. My eyes darted to the half-open stage door. I could see that the sky was getting lighter. We couldn't stay here. Violet needed to be somewhere safe, and there was nowhere in London that was safe from Damon.
Violet sniffled, and I saw two large tears rol down her cheeks. "I want to go home," she said in a smal voice. "I want to be with my mom and sisters. I don't belong here. If I have to die . . . and I want to die, I don't want to become a monster . . . then I want to die as myself. As Violet Burns. I want to be home. I want Cora."
I glanced at her as she stared bravely ahead. I wanted to charter a ship, or to swim across the dark Irish Sea myself to give her what she wanted. But I couldn't. And she knew that.
"I'm just rabbiting on. I just want to see my sister one last time."
"I know you do," I said. "But if we find her, then I think Damon wil find you. But Cora's al right. She's protected. The charm you gave her is fil ed with vervain. It's an herb that protects people from vampires. I didn't tel you because I didn't want to scare you, but . . ." Violet clawed at the hol ow of her neck. "It was my fault," she realized.
"No. You saved your sister. Whether or not you knew what the charm was, you knew it was good luck, and you gave it to her. That's love," I said, smiling at Violet. I wondered if I'd been in a similar situation, if I'd have done the same thing for Damon.
"Wel , I hope she thinks of me every time she wears it," Violet said. "And maybe I can write her a letter. And you can deliver it. Because she needs someone to look out for her," Violet said, piecing each sentence together slowly.
"Of course. I'l look after Cora, and I promise you, she wil be safe. And I know where I can take you," I decided, picking up her hand. I hoped the Abbotts' farm would remind her of the rol ing Irish hil s she'd told me about. It was a smal comfort, no replacement for the real thing, but it was the best I could do.
Violet nodded meekly. I looked down at her in agony, a tear threatening to escape my eye. I let it fal , watching it splash on Violet's hair, wishing there was something I could do. Al I'd wanted this evening was for Violet to be safe. And here she was stil in my arms - but ful of vampire blood. I had failed her.
Chapter Fourteen
There have been times in my life that I felt something, or someone, was watching out for me. Because how else could both Violet and I have made it to Paddington Station without being stopped by the police or a concerned passerby? It helped that we took a few garments from a traveler's luggage as they waited for their train, and were no longer wearing bloodstained clothes. But stil , I had to support Violet against my side, and even a casual observer could see she was close to death. And yet, no one had noticed us.
I didn't think of it as providence. Maybe I would have, at one point. But now I only felt it was evidence of my innate evil. I frightened people.