“Don’t touch me. I don’t want you near me right now,” she said.
He kept his hold on her waist. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said.
“You’re a grown man, Patrick. Stop behaving like a teenager.” She pulled out of his hold. “I want you to remember that it was you that asked me to move here. You wanted to be part of this baby’s life. I was content to do it all myself. Don’t start treating me like I landed this in your lap and you’re trying to deal with it.”
She stormed away. Patrick took large gulps of fresh air. He needed to clear his mind. He stood overlooking the garden when he heard several girls laughing.
“Did you see the way she looked? I can’t believe the bitch has snagged him.”
“Snagged him? The only thing appealing about her is the bank balance she comes with. Her brother is one hot guy. I’d fuck him if the chance ever arose.”
Patrick looked toward the sound.
“Do you really think Patrick will marry her?”
“Who knows? I never thought he’d get a girl pregnant. I sure tried to make him forget a condom. The fucker never did.”
He felt sick to his stomach that he’d ever touched one of the girls. Shaking his head, he made his way inside. Looking at his space and seeing Jennifer sitting on the sofa with her feet curled up underneath her made him lose what little control he had.
“Get the fuck out of my house.” He yelled the words for everyone to hear.
They froze, and the music stopped as he cursed.
“What’s going on?” one person asked.
“Get out. This party was a mistake. Get the fuck out.”
All of his guests started to filter out of the front door. He didn’t care if the news hit the morning papers. The only thing on his mind was getting them out of his door. He was losing his mind where Jennifer was concerned.
When they all filed out he stared at Jennifer. She didn’t look at him.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She turned in her seat to look at him.
“Do you want me to go?” she asked.
Linda left them alone. He sat down where her friend had been seated seconds before. Reaching for her hand, Patrick was startled when she pulled away.
“I’ve been an asshole,” he said. “I don’t want you to go.”
Jennifer stood without speaking to him.
“Don’t walk away.” He took her hand in his. Her palm was sweaty. He stood, cupping her cheek and staring down into her eyes. “I’m not used to this. I lost control.”
“I didn’t force this on you, Patrick. You don’t have to start being different because of me. I’m having this baby because I want to. You need to decide what you want to do.”
She brushed past him and walked up the stairs. He watched her go and knew she was right. With his head in his hands Patrick cursed. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. That morning after going with her to the doctor’s appointment he’d seen a caricature of him and Jennifer in the newspaper. They had been surrounded by three screaming kids, and he’d snapped. The paper had talked about her taming him in some freakish kind of way. After seeing it he’d wanted to convince himself nothing had changed. He wanted to think he was the same old Patrick when the truth was he was not. He’d fucked up, and he didn’t have a clue what to do.
Chapter Nine
After the party there was a tenseness that surrounded them. Jennifer no longer felt free with him and knew he was wishing for other things. He didn’t reach for her, and their sex life had all but fizzled out. There were times he looked at her, and she was sure he wanted to say or do something, but then he’d simply turn away. She didn’t understand. What was holding him back? Linda visited her as much as she could. Jennifer knew the visits were hard for her friend. Patrick wasn’t the most welcoming of men. He seemed to hate Linda with a passion. She’d never understand why he looked angry all the time. The newspapers had been filled with his disaster of a party. The gossip had turned it around and made it her fault.
Her mother had shocked her with several phone calls offering to support and help her. She’d never known her mother cared so much about her.
The furniture arrived for the nursery. She asked the delivery men to store it in the room. Jennifer hadn’t gone back in the room for several days. Patrick stayed out a lot of the time.
When a week had passed and nothing felt like it was going right, she walked into the nursery and started going through the furniture. She wasn’t stupid, and she tore open a box and began to read the instructions. Assembling the crib looked easy enough. The tools had come with the stuff. Pushing the other furniture out of the way, she began to organise the space.
Every now and then tears would grip her. She rubbed them away and winced as she started to get lower back pain. Jennifer moved around the room trying to get comfortable. The pain would disappear as quickly as it reappeared. She continued to ignore the pain as she worked. Her mind filled with other worries that were mostly directed to the father of the baby.
She cringed when she heard the sound of the door opening and closing. When she’d first started living with him she’d have called out. In the last week she hadn’t bothered to call to him. Once the baby was born if she still felt like this then she was moving back into her old apartment. She read through the instructions as Patrick opened the door to the room. Jennifer didn’t look up and continued to assemble the crib.
“What are you doing?” he asked. His voice was soft as he spoke.
“Assembling a crib. It looks easy enough.”
She grabbed a piece of wood and aligned it up before getting the screws to fit into place.
“You shouldn’t be doing this, Jennifer.”
“Someone has to, and I’ve got a lot of free time.”
She heard him sigh and ignored it.
“Is this the way it’s going to be between us?” he asked.
“I don’t know. You seem determined to put distance between us. I’m merely carrying on with what you have planned. Could you pass me that pole?” She glanced up at him. He glared down at her.
“I didn’t plan for this, Jennifer. I’m trying to deal with it.” He pointed at her stomach and then at her.
“And you think I did plan for this?” she asked. Her anger got the better of her, and she stood to glare at him.
“You’re a woman. Don’t you have an inbuilt system that allows you cope with this?” He smiled.