They were more words than she'd ever heard strung together out of her brother-in-law's mouth. Now it was her turn to be stunned.
“What makes you think I know how to help him?”
“I can't believe I'm about to say this,” he said, looking well and truly appalled, “but on the way over here I started to see things differently. Different enough that I actually think you're perfect for him. You're not one of those frigid bitches he's always been with. He knew he wouldn't fall in love with any of them. But you...well, clearly he didn't know what the fuck to do about you. Which is why I'm thinking that you might be the only person on the planet who can get through to him. The only person who can actually reach him.” He shook his head. “I may need to go have my head examined after this.”
“Good idea,” she said, working like hell to fight back the rush of moisture that was building behind her eyeballs at her brother-in-law's unexpected words.
But his eyes saw too much, damn him.
Damn all the Carson men.
“You haven't told me yet why you won't take him back. Especially when I can see how badly you want to.”
She couldn't sit behind her computer anymore. Her legs were itching to move, to run—and keep running. Away from everything that was hurting so bad. But even as she jumped up out of her chair, she realized not only did she have nowhere to go, but that even if she tried, she'd never be able to hide out, she'd never be able to steal away from her feelings.
“I just can't.”
“Have you heard a word I've said?”
“And then some,” she muttered. “Look, it doesn't matter what you think or what Lily thinks or even what I think.”
She shook her head, hated the way she felt, like she was going to break apart, literally shatter from the inside out.
“It just doesn't matter.”
“It does, Janica.” He paused. “He told you he loves you. In front of all of us.”
Her nostrils flared. She swallowed. Fought for whatever last shred of composure she retained.
“That was really big of him to do it like that. The grand gesture. You must have been really impressed.”
“Fuck being impressed, Janica. The point is he did it. He said it. He feels it. So why the hell are we sitting here having this discussion? Why are you sitting here arguing with me instead of making his life a living hell?”
No.
This was where she had to draw the line. She wouldn't sit here and explain how it had felt to hear Luke say, “I love you,” while everything else about him said he'd failed. While every piece of him clearly screamed that he couldn't believe he'd actually gone and fallen for the notorious, the slutty, the wild-child Janica Ellis.
“I want to be with—” She cut herself off and started over. “I need to be with someone who actually wants to love me.” She felt the edges of her mouth start to wobble and sat back down behind her desk, putting her fingers on her keyboard in a desperate attempt to steady herself.
“Not just someone who can't help himself.”
* * *
Lily lay in the curve of Travis's arms later that night. After putting the kids to sleep, he'd made the sweetest, most passionate love to her. Every touch, every kiss, every stroke of his body inside of hers had been pure emotion.
Pure love.
On the verge of falling into a deep, sated sleep, she heard him say, “You haven't asked me about my conversation with your sister yet.”
She shifted out of his arms and sat up in the bed, moonlight streaming over her lush curves. “You didn't seem ready to talk about it yet.”
His eyes drank her in, roving from her face to her breasts and stomach and hips, then back up to her eyes. “My God, sweetheart, you're so damned beautiful.”
She reached for his hand and threaded her fingers through his, knowing she'd never get tired of hearing him say those words. Even though she saw the truth of it in his eyes every time he looked at her.
“I love you,” she said, and then, “So what happened?”
“I was wrong about her.”
Another time she might have laughed at his look of almost physical pain from his admission, but she couldn't. Not when she was so terribly worried about her sister. And his brother.
“She's not playing Luke,” Travis said. “She really, truly cares about him.” His face tightened even further. “He needs her in a way that he doesn't need you or me. And I'm afraid he's going to lose her.”
Her heart was so heavy a couple of tears fell before she even realized she was crying. “I'm afraid of that too.”
“Hell,” Travis said. “I'm thinking if things don't change soon, we're going to have to get them on a plane to Italy and force the issue.”
Her eyes sparkled at the memory of their surprise wedding. “Oh, wouldn't it be amazing to see them up on that stage at the Festival of Weddings?”
Travis pulled her back into his arms and loved her tears away, but even after he fell asleep with his head on her chest, she couldn't stop worrying. Because she knew that dragging her sister and brother-in-law off to Italy wouldn't make a lick of difference.
She and Travis couldn't make the decision for them.
Luke and Janica needed to choose love for themselves.
All she could do was pray that they did. Because Luke and Janica meant everything to her.
And they both deserved the kind of forever love that she and Travis shared.
Chapter Twenty-three
As soon as Janica touched down in Italy, she knew she should get right back on the plane.
She always loved Italy. The architecture. The passionate natives. The food. The fashion. And as soon as Travis had left her office, she'd booked the next flight out to Milan to deal with some accounts that she'd recently picked up and to get a feel for the new fabrics and styles coming out of fashion's center of business.
But neither of those were the real reasons she'd gotten on the plane.
She'd had to leave. Had to get away from any and everything that reminded her of Luke.
Only, how could she have forgotten that she'd been here, in Italy with him, when they'd been trying to help Lily and Travis with their own roller-coaster relationship?
I love you, he'd said. It shouldn't have taken me this long to figure it out.
Okay, so he'd finally owned up to his feelings. But how long would it take him to accept them? To embrace them? To not be embarrassed by his feelings for her or to wish he didn't feel them? And if she had to tell him, if she had to give him step-by-step instructions on how to really and truly love her, then how could it possibly be real? And in the end, she couldn't force him to feel anything other than what he really, truly felt.