Tonight, however, any which way she looked, everything was a puzzle. Not only Luke's behavior, but hers too.
Why wasn't she talking back to him? Why wasn't she informing him in no uncertain terms that she'd do whatever she wanted whenever she damn well wanted to do it?
And most of all, why did letting Luke take the reins—temporarily at least—make her feel so safe? Almost comforted. Protected.
All the while, as her brain wrestled with itself, Luke's eyes were on her, moving from her soaked pussy to her breasts and then her face.
At first glance his eyes were hard, and yet, when she looked closer, in the small spaces between heartbeats, she could see something else in their green depths. Something that made her heart clench tightly in her chest.
Luke was in pain. And it was deep. Dark.
And there was something else there, too. An emotion that she'd seen in his brother, Travis's eyes when he looked at Lily. Her heart nearly stopped beating.
She understood sex. Was perfectly comfortable to with two bodies coming together in mutual desire. But the kind of thing she was seeing in his eyes...she'd never had a man look at her like that, naked or otherwise.
His voice broke into her careening thoughts. “Now, Janica.”
She snapped to at his raw words. She'd ached for him for so long, but until tonight—until just moments ago—it had been a primarily physical ache. Now, it was an emotional one too.
But even as she thought it, she knew she was lying to herself. She'd gone way beyond physical with Luke years ago, even though it had only been one-sided.
Shifting on the couch, she tried to get up to go to him, but her legs were still tangled up in her half-off panties. Moving to slide them off the rest of the way, she was stilled by Luke's commanding voice.
“Leave them.”
Her nipples peaked even more at his words, at the picture she knew she was presenting to him, bound by her damp underwear, so enslaved by her own lust for him that she would do anything he asked.
Anything at all
Licking her lips, she took a breath to prepare to fight her instincts, which were surely going to tell her to battle him. But, again, nothing came.
Because, as she realized with a shocked jolt of awareness, she wanted to do exactly what he told her to.
Suddenly, fear roiled through her. Not at what Luke wanted from her—Lord knew she'd fantasized about taking him into her mouth a hundred times—but at how badly she wanted to give herself over to him.
No!
She couldn't do it.
All her life she'd taken care of herself. Because she'd had to. If she stopped now, if she gave herself over to Luke, then what would she lose hold of next?
Pushing herself back into the couch, she started shaking her head as she said, “I ca—”
But when she looked up at him again, the rest of her words caught in her throat. He wasn't saying a word, but it was almost as if she could hear his thoughts as he watched her struggle with herself.
Tonight, this, what we're doing, won't change anything. You'll still be you and I'll still be me. I'm only asking you to give me one night. I'm only asking you to give me this. And then tomorrow everything will go back to normal.
Lord, how she wanted to believe it, wanted to believe that come morning she'd be back in complete control of her world, of her place in it. That she'd be back in control of herself. And her heart. Just as she always had been.
And wasn't it the truth that if she ran from him now, if she ran from what she was feeling, all it would do was prove just how out of control she was?
Of course she could do this, of course she could let Luke lead their erotic dance for one night without losing herself. She was strong enough not to lose herself in him, in his needs.
In her own needs.
Still, getting up off the couch and moving toward him, her legs partially bound by fabric, wasn't the easiest thing she'd ever done. Not just because it was physically awkward, but because of the ongoing fight she was having with her pride the entire way.
Until the moment he dropped his pants and boxers to the floor. And she saw the most beautiful cock in the world.
He was so thick.
And so wide.
And so long.
She'd seen cocks in all shapes and sizes and colors. But Luke's was...
She shivered. There were no words for it. Nothing that would do him justice, anyway.
She was so completely focused on his erect shaft, pointing upright, almost laying against his stomach, that it was almost an afterthought to realize that she was now standing in front of him. Not taking her eyes off of his penis, she instinctively dropped to her knees.
Reverently, she raised one hand to him to touch him softly with the pad of her index finger. She ran it down the shaft, over the raised veins, felt them throb beneath her light touch.
He was so hot, velvety smooth skin stretched over steel.
So beautiful.
And all hers.
For one night.
Salivating at the thought of tasting him, of running her tongue up, down, and around his cock, she forced herself to take it slow by wrapping her hand around his huge shaft first. Her hands were fairly average-sized for a small woman, but even once she added her second hand above the first, she didn't come close to spanning the full length.
Finally, she raised her eyes and found him staring down at her with such desire it literally took her breath away. Unable to do anything but react, she tightened her grip on his shaft. His arousal slipped out and onto her fingers.
“Use your mouth.”
His words were gritty and filled with stark need, less a demand now than a plea of his own.
Didn't he already know that nothing could have stopped her from taking him in her mouth? Still, there was something impossibly sexy about his telling her what to do. And when to do it.
Just this once.
Tonight with Luke, all rules were off.
Which worked perfectly for a woman who had never much cared for following the rules.
A moment later she was leaning in closer, breathing in the clean, heady scent of his arousal, and then hot, hard flesh was on her tongue and she was taking him into her mouth, opening up as wide as she could to accommodate not only his thick head but the wide shaft that followed as well.
His hands had threaded through her hair, holding her against him. Her hands were on his thighs and his quadriceps bunched and tightened beneath her fingertips with every inch deeper that she managed to take him into her throat. With gentle pressure, he rocked himself further into her and she made herself relax the muscles in her throat to take even more.
Just looking at him, she'd known it would be impossible to take his entire shaft. Her lips and throat had never been stretched like this. What, she wondered wildly as her body gushed arousal, was it going to feel like to take him inside her pussy?