Don’t think about that, you f**king coward. How could you let anyone hurt her?
Even as he thought the words, his heart and head rebelled. There would be no way he’d let anyone hurt the angel he held in his arms. The battle inside him had already begun.
Chapter Ten
They met every week, each conversation more intense than the next. She felt she could talk to him about anything. Isaac opened up to her about what he liked and disliked. She loved the touching the most. His body was perfect, and when they were together she could touch him however she liked.
Brad was distracted by his meetings with Ben, and he didn’t question where she went for long periods of time.
When she spent time with Isaac she felt like she could have a life. She paid the money into a separate bank account every week without fail, her funds dwindling down with each transaction. Her paintings were not moving at the moment. She found little inspiration in the studio. Her heart opened up in the short hours she spent with Isaac. If only she could get him to visit her at her home.
Winter was taking full hold of the city with most days starting out with freezing ice. The light of the day had fallen to only a few short hours. She spent most of her days immersed in a romance book with her thoughts straying to what could happen if she asked Isaac to make love to her.
Would he laugh at her? She dreamt about his touch. Her thoughts were plagued with imagining what it would be like to have his lips on hers.
Get over yourself, Noelle. Something like that is never going to happen.
It could if you wanted it to.
I’m not paying for sex.
You’re still paying to be in his company. What’s the difference?
The fight inside her head remained the same. Throwing the book that she held in her arms across the room, she got off the couch to pace. Her skin felt itchy. She was restless and in need of something more. Being scarred at such a young age had left her feeling incapable of seeking out company.
Her days were growing harder to deal with. She wanted to be wanted by a man. The tears she fought so hard to keep down erupted. They fell silently down her cheeks as she walked the living the room. Her body hummed with the need to be touched. She rubbed the tears away which only made her cry harder.
“Stop, just stop.”
For most of her life she’d dealt with wanting something and never having it. Why did this one matter of touching and experiencing the pleasure that could be had between a man and a woman have to be so hard to forget about?
Her virginity felt more like a burden than something to treasure. The frustration she tried to stem kept biting her on the ass.
The sound of her mobile ringing stopped her pacing.
“Hello.” She answered the phone without looking at the contact.
“What’s the matter? You sound upset,” Isaac said down the line.
Wiping her tears away, she gave him a laugh. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Talk to me, Elle.”
“Do you take this much care of all your clients?” she asked. The cruel words were not intended to hurt. She cringed when she thought about what she’d said. Bringing up his choice of career wasn’t the smartest or the nicest thing to do.
“You’re special to me. Tell me what’s wrong.” His words commanded her to respond to him. With a sigh she relented.
“I’m missing you.” She wouldn’t give him the whole truth. Allowing Isaac to have that much control over her would be a mistake.
“Can I see you?” he asked.
Her heart kicked out of her chest. The wants and needs she’d been upset about rose closer to the surface at the mention of seeing him.
“When?”
“Tonight.”
Biting her lip she thought about Brad. He hadn’t been getting home ‘til late. She could leave early and avoid talking to him. He never looked chatty anymore.
“I’d love to. Same time?”
“Yes, and, Elle ... wear something nice.”
“I wear something nice all the time.”
“I know. What I meant was wear a skirt or a dress. I’ll drive you home and make sure you stay warm.”
She nodded her head and then realised he couldn’t see the action.
“I will. I promise.”
“I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Okay.”
Isaac hung up the phone. In the small amount of time he’d been on the phone her whole world had picked up. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was only three hours until she’d be able to see him. She went straight to the bathroom and began running herself a bath.
The lemon scent of her bath salts soothed her as she undressed. Minutes later she was climbing into the tub and soaking her body in the water.
She jumped as she heard Brad slam the door when he entered the apartment. There was no way of knowing the time. From the curses she heard, she knew his encounters with Ben were not going so well. She felt like a bitch for not knowing everything that was going on in his life.
He knocked on the bathroom door. She made sure her body was covered by the bubbles in the water before calling out to him to come inside.
“You’re taking a bath early.” Brad walked in and closed the door before sitting on top of the toilet seat.
“I’m going out to meet a friend later.”
“Do I need to meet this friend?”
Noelle shook her head. She knew he wasn’t in the bathroom to talk to her about whom she was seeing.
“What’s the matter, Brad? You haven’t been the same for a while now, and you’re starting to scare me. You’re not drinking again are you?” She’d never thought about him falling off the wagon. He’d been sober for so long, falling off now would be disastrous.
“Nothing like that. I can’t get Ben out of my mind. Something happened between us when I was drunk and full of the drugs. I don’t know what it is, but I feel it’s bad.” He let out a sigh of frustration. She saw how annoyed he was at himself. Sometimes, she could read him like a book.
“Have you thought about talking with him about this?”
“He doesn’t want to talk about it. All he says is that I’m not ready to hear. What did I do? Is it possible for someone to forget something so horrible?” he asked. He wanted answers, but she couldn’t give them.
“Brad, I don’t know. Maybe. I guess.”
“Could I really hurt someone that badly in drink?” he asked.
She saw the tears forming in his eyes. They were two f**ked-up people.
“You need to talk to Ben.” Noelle grabbed her towel and stood while he had his head in his hands. She wrapped the towel around her body, got out and went to him. She pulled him into her arms. They’d never had a physical relationship, of course. Neither felt anything for the other besides the love of friendship. “Don’t do this to yourself. You deserve better.”