Chapter Six
Elijah’s words were a lie. Amber was so angry with herself for allowing herself to feel anything other than lust. Growling in frustration, she turned around, searching for something more to throw at him.
His arms banded around her middle, stopping her from picking anything else up. She fought him, trying to get away. Amber let loose the pain she’d kept deep down inside. Tears filled her eyes as she stared ahead of her.
“Let me go,” she said.
“No! I’m not letting you go.”
The tears finally spilled down her cheeks. She took a deep breath and cried out. “I don’t want you in my life anymore.”
She didn’t mean the words. Well, part of her meant them.
“I’m here, Amber. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
Eyes closed, she took a deep breath until she finally gained control of her sanity.
“I’m fine. I need you to let me go.”
Slowly he released her, and she sat down on the sofa. Pushing the hair out of her eyes, she stared straight ahead.
“When you f**ked me on Heather’s eighteenth birthday it was the best and worst day of my life,” she said.
He took the seat next to her.
“I had the biggest crush on you, and I wanted you to be my first. In the morning, I didn’t know what to do and I heard my friends talking, so all I wanted to do was get away.” She licked her lips. Her throat was dry, and she was exhausted. “You spanked me that day, and it turned me on. I was confused, and for months afterward I didn’t know what it meant. I ran away that first time because I was scared. You’re a lot to take in, and I was only eighteen. Every time we’ve met since we’ve always had an excuse to run away from each other. The only area in our life that makes sense is the sex and the domination. I know you’re not the only one at fault. I’ve never fought for more. ”
She turned to look at him. Amber saw the tears in his eyes.
“I’m twenty-five years old, and I’ve not even been on a proper date with a man. Waiting for you has made me tired. I need to go on this date, Elijah. You may not like it and I accept that, but you can’t stop me.”
Accepting Dale’s date had made her happy. He would be the first man she’d ever been on a date with.
“You spent the weekend with me,” he said.
“Dale knows I was seeing someone and that it wasn’t official. I never want to hurt you, Elijah. Regardless of what you think, I do love you, very much.” Amber wiped the tears from her eyes.
“I love you, and you love me. Why can’t we make this work?”
Amber gazed at her hands. “I don’t know.”
She wanted more than anything to wrap her arms around him and let the future pan out. Their past together stopped her.
“I’m not backing down, and I’m not giving up. I love you, Amber. I love you more than you’ll ever know or understand.” He stood, and she heard him take the steps toward her front door. “When are you going on a date?”
“This Friday. He’s picking me up here.”
“I’m not giving up,” he said.
She flinched as the door closed. Grabbing her cell phone, she did something that she should have done a long time ago. “Hello, Ashley, will you come over? I really need to talk to you.”
Waiting for Ashley to arrive, Amber changed into some pajamas and tied her hair into a ponytail. An hour later, Ashley rang the bell.
“I bought chocolate ice-cream. You sounded in need on the phone.”
She made them both hot chocolates as Ashley went to her room to change. Amber’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking. She needed to tell someone about Elijah, and Ashley was the only person she knew wouldn’t judge. Heather would get angry at her brother, while Connie would try to reason with her. Ashley was the only one who would listen in this situation.
Amber waited for her friend.
“Right, I’m here, and I’m all ears,” Ashley said, eating ice-cream.
Now that the time came to be honest, Amber felt a wave of sickness overcome her.
How could she speak the truth to her friend?
What was she supposed to say?
“I’ve been sleeping with Elijah since Heather’s eighteenth birthday.”
Ashley’s mouth opened wide, staring at her. The silence started and kept going putting Amber on edge.
“Say something. You’re the only one I’ve ever told.”
“I’ll say something when I’m ready. You’ve been f**king Heather’s brother?”
Amber nodded.
“The guy with the long hair and the well-built bod?”
“Yes and yes. What’s the matter with you? I need to speak to someone about what’s going on, and you’re the only one I can trust.”
“You want me to keep this from the others?”
“Yes. I’m not stupid, Ashley. I know you keep shit from us. I could never talk about this with Heather or Connie.”
“I don’t feel comfortable keeping something like this to myself,” Ashley said.
“Please, let me finish, and then you can comment all you want.”
Amber went into a long explanation detailing what happened between her and Elijah. She didn’t leave anything out other than the more sordid, twisted bits. Amber opened up about the domination and her part with Club Kink. The blonde and the weekend she spent with him were also discussed.
By the end of it, Amber was in tears and in Ashley’s arms.
“I agreed to a date with Dale, and Elijah says he loves me. I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell Heather, and I’m totally screwed. I hate this. I hate feeling like this.” She sobbed out the words, wishing something would happen that would take her away from all the pain and the heartache.
“Look, you’ve never been on a date before, and Elijah’s never asked you out on a date, right?” Ashley said.
“No, he hasn’t.”
“This Dale knows the score. Go on a date with him. God, get him to feel you up and kiss him. Take full advantage of the date.”
Ashley wiped the tears away. Amber felt like a child and pulled away. “What about Elijah?”
“Bastard had his chance. He’s done nothing but use you, and I don’t like to hear about my friends being used.”
“I love him as well, Ashley.”
Her friend shrugged. “Dale is not expecting anything from you. Go, date, have fun, and do everything you should have done before being Elijah’s woman. You’re acting like he has some prior claim over you, and that’s not the case at all. He has no claim at all.”