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Confessions of a Shopaholic (Shopaholic #1) Page 68
Author: Sophie Kinsella

“Becky, don’t be alarmed,” he says, “but I’ve just had that Derek Smeath chap on the phone.”

“What?” I say, feeling my face drain in horror.

“The stalker?” exclaims Janice, and Dad gives a sober nod.

“Quite an unpleasant fellow, I would say. He was really quite aggressive toward me.”

“But how does he know Becky’s here?” says Janice.

“Obviously just taking potluck,” says Dad. “I was very civil, simply told him you weren’t here and that I had no idea where you were.”

“And. . and what did he say?” I say in a strangled voice.

“Came out with some nonsense about a meeting you’d set up with him.” Dad shakes his head. “The chap’s obviously deluded.”

“You should change your number,” advises Martin. “Go ex-directory.”

“But where was he phoning from?” says Janice, her voice rising in alarm. “He could be anywhere!” She starts looking agitatedly around the garden as though expecting him to jump out from behind a bush.

“Exactly,” says Dad. “So, Becky, I think maybe you should come inside now. You never know with these characters.”

“OK,” I say numbly. I can’t quite believe this is happening. I look at Dad’s kind, concerned face and suddenly I can barely meet his eye. Oh, why didn’t I tell him and Mum the truth? Why did I let myself get into this situation?

“You look quite shaken up, dear,” says Janice, and pats me on the shoulder. “You go and have a nice sit down.”

“Yes,” I say. “Yes, I think I will.”

And Dad leads me off gently toward the house, as though I were some kind of invalid.

This is all getting out of hand. Now not only do I feel like an utter failure, I don’t feel safe anymore, either. I feel exposed and edgy. I sit on the sofa next to Mum, drinking tea and watching Countdown, and every time there’s a sound outside, I jump.

What if Derek Smeath’s on his way here? How long would it take him to drive here from London? An hour and a half? Two, if the traffic’s bad?

He wouldn’t do that. He’s a busy man.

But he might.

Or send the bailiffs round. Oh God. Threatening men in leather jackets. My stomach is squeezed tight with fear. In fact, I’m beginning to feel as though I genuinely am being stalked.

As the commercial break begins, Mum reaches for a catalogue full of gardening things. “Look at this lovely birdbath,” she says. “I’m going to get one for the garden.”

“Great,” I mutter, unable to concentrate.

“They’ve got some super window boxes, too,” she says. “You could do with some nice window boxes in your flat.”

“Yes,” I say. “Maybe.”

“Shall I put you down for a couple? They’re not expensive.”

“No, it’s OK.”

“You can pay by check, or VISA. .” she says, flipping over the page.

“No, really, Mum,” I say, my voice sharpening slightly.

“You could just phone up with your VISA card, and have them delivered—”

“Mum, stop it!” I cry. “I don’t want them, OK?”

Mum gives me a surprised, slightly reproving look and turns to the next page of her catalogue. And I gaze back at her, full of a choking panic. My VISA card doesn’t work. My debit card doesn’t work. Nothing works. And she has no idea.

Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. I grab for an ancient copy of the Radio Times on the coffee table and begin to leaf through it blindly.

“It’s a shame about poor Martin and Janice, isn’t it?” says Mum, looking up. “Fancy switching funds two weeks before the takeover! Such bad luck!”

“I know,” I mumble, staring down at a page of listings. I don’t want to be reminded about Martin and Janice.

“It seems a terrible coincidence,” says Mum, shaking her head. “That the company should launch this new fund just before the takeover. You know, there must be a lot of people who did exactly what Martin and Janice did, who have lost out. Dreadful, really.” She looks at the television. “Oh look, it’s starting again.”

The cheery Countdown music begins to play, and a round of applause rattles noisily from the television. But I’m not listening to it, or even paying any attention to the vowels and consonants. I’m thinking about what Mum has just said. A terrible coincidence — but it wasn’t exactly a coincidence, was it? The bank actually wrote to Janice and Martin, suggesting that they switch funds. They even offered an incentive, didn’t they? A carriage clock.

Suddenly I feel alert. I want to see the letter from Flagstaff Life — and find out exactly how long before the takeover they sent it.

“ ‘ending,’ ” says Mum, staring at the screen. “That’s six. Ooh, there’s an S. Can you have ‘endings’?”

“I’m just. . popping next door,” I say, getting to my feet. “I won’t be a minute.”

As Martin opens the front door, I see that he and Janice have also been sitting in front of the telly, watching Countdown.

“Hi,” I say sheepishly. “I was just wondering — could I have a quick chat?”

“Of course!” says Martin. “Come on in! Would you like a sherry?”

“Oh,” I say, a little taken aback. I mean, not that I’m against drinking, obviously — but it isn’t even five o’clock yet. “Well — OK then.”

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Sophie Kinsella's Novels
» My Not So Perfect Life
» Twenties Girl
» I've Got Your Number
» Can You Keep a Secret?
» Shopaholic and Sister (Shopaholic #4)
» Shopaholic Takes Manhattan (Shopaholic #2)
» Remember Me?
» The Undomestic Goddess
» Shopaholic Ties the Knot (Shopaholic #3)
» Confessions of a Shopaholic (Shopaholic #1)
» Shopaholic to the Stars (Shopaholic #7)
» Mini Shopaholic (Shopaholic #6)
» Shopaholic & Baby (Shopaholic #5)
» Finding Audrey