"It's a good idea." Edward seemed reluctant to admit this. "I'll feel better with Seth there, even without the instantaneous communication. I don't know if I'd be able to leave Bella there alone. To think it's come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!"
"Fightingwith vampires instead of against them!" Jacob mirrored Edward's tone of disgust.
"Well, you still get to fight against some of them," Edward said.
Jacob smiled. "That's the reason we're here."
Chapter 19. SELFISH
EDWARD CARRIED ME HOME IN HIS ARMS, EXPECTING that I wouldn't be able to hang on. I must have fallen asleep on the way.
When I woke up, I was in my bed and the dull light coming through my windows slanted in from a strange angle. Almost like it was afternoon.
I yawned and stretched, my fingers searching for him and coming up empty.
"Edward?" I mumbled.
My seeking fingers encountered something cool and smooth. His hand.
"Are you really awake this time?" he murmured.
"Mmm," I sighed in assent. "Have there been a lot of false alarms?"
"You've been very restless - talking all day."
"Allday?" I blinked and looked at the windows again.
"You had a long night," he said reassuringly. "You'd earned a day in bed."
I sat up, and my head spun. The light was coming in my window from the west. "Wow."
"Hungry?" he guessed. "Do you want breakfast in bed?"
"I'll get it," I groaned, stretching again. "I need to get up and move around."
He held my hand on the way to the kitchen, eyeing me carefully, like I might fall over. Or maybe he thought I was sleepwalking.
I kept it simple, throwing a couple of Pop-Tarts in the toaster. I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflective chrome.
"Ugh, I'm a mess."
"It was a long night," he said again. "You should have stayed here and slept."
"Right! And missed everything. You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I'm part of the family now."
He smiled. "I could probably get used to that idea."
I sat down with my breakfast, and he sat next to me. When I lifted the Pop-Tart to take the first bite, I noticed him staring at my hand. I looked down, and saw that I was still wearing the gift that Jacob had given me at the party.
"May I?" he asked, reaching for the tiny wooden wolf.
I swallowed noisily. "Um, sure."
He moved his hand under the charm bracelet and balanced the little figurine in his snowy palm. For a fleeting moment, I was afraid. Just the slightest twist of his fingers could crush it into splinters.
But of course Edward wouldn't do that. I was embarrassed I'd even had the thought. He only weighed the wolf in his palm for a moment, and then let it fall. It swung lightly from my wrist.
I tried to read the expression in his eyes. All I could see was thoughtfulness; he kept everything else hidden, if there was anything else.
"Jacob Black can give you presents."
It wasn't a question, or an accusation. Just a statement of fact. But I knew he was referring to my last birthday and the fit I'd thrown over gifts; I hadn't wanted any. Especially not from Edward. It wasn't entirely logical, and, of course, everyone had ignored me anyway. . . .
"You've given me presents," I reminded him. "You know I like the homemade kind."
He pursed his lips for a second. "How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?"
"What do you mean?"
"This bracelet." His finger traced a circle around my wrist. "You'll be wearing this a lot?"
I shrugged.
"Because you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings," he suggested shrewdly.
"Sure, I guess so."
"Don't you think it's fair, then," he asked, looking down at my hand as he spoke. He turned it palm up, and ran his finger along the veins in my wrist. "If I have a little representation?"
"Representation?"
"A charm - something to keep me on your mind."
"You're in every thought I have. I don't need reminders."
"If I gave you something, would you wear it?" he pressed.
"A hand-me-down?" I checked.
"Yes, something I've had for a while." He smiled his angel's smile.
If this was the only reaction to Jacob's gift, I would take it gladly. "Whatever makes you happy."
"Have you noticed the inequality?" he asked, and his voice turned accusing. "Because I certainly have."
"What inequality?"
His eyes narrowed. "Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn't. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That's utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?"
"Easy." I shrugged. "You're more important than everyone else. And you've given me you. That's already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance."
He processed that for a moment, and then rolled his eyes. "The way you regard me is ludicrous."
I chewed my breakfast calmly. I knew he wouldn't listen if I told him that he had that backward.
Edward's phone buzzed.
He looked at the number before he opened it. "What is it, Alice?"
He listened, and I waited for his reaction, suddenly nervous. But whatever she said didn't surprise him. He sighed a few times.
"I sort of guessed as much," he told her, staring into my eyes, a disapproving arch to his brow. "She was talking in her sleep."