She was mine.
She was my new chance.
My future was bright and safe.
Vasily had broken my curse.
Six weeks later, once Zel had healed enough to return home and the twins were safely absconded in their nursery, I planned a special evening just for the two of us.
While Zel was upstairs kissing the twins and telling them stories of a big sister they’d never meet, I decorated the lounge in a gazillion candles. I ordered a banquet of finger foods and delicious entrees and laid large sheepskins on the floor beside the roaring fire.
Tonight, I was going to make love to my woman.
For the first time.
Every time I thought about how different my life had become, I would stop and lose myself in memories. It felt as if I’d lived my entire life in shadows. Listening to conversations under water, and experiencing joy down a long tunnel with no light. Every since my conditioning broke, I hadn’t stopped touching.
I barely put the twins down.
Zel couldn’t walk past me without running her hands over my back or trailing fingertips through my hair. We hadn’t had sex since the birth, but we’d never been so intimate. So in tune.
I’d never been so f**king happy.
Tonight I planned on seducing a woman for the first time in my life. I’d never bought candles or sourced romantic music. I’d never ordered food based on their aphrodisiac qualities.
Vasily and Vera had given me a brand new world to explore and indulge, and I didn’t want to miss a second.
My heart raced at the thought of taking Zel. Of worshipping her with everything I could. I wanted to know what it would be like to hug her and hold her tight with none of the shit I’d lived with.
There would be no past or Ghosts or terror.
There would only be love and lust and hunger.
“Wow, you’ve been busy,” Zel’s voice sounded behind me.
I spun to face her, never getting used to the way my love for her sucker-punched me the gut. “Shit, I wanted to have all of this ready before you came down.”
I still hadn’t presented the food how I wanted. And the statue I’d made her hadn’t been covered. Damn it.
I moved to hide it, but Zel sucked in a gasp.
“Oh, my God. Did you make that?” She drifted forward, absorbed by the half metre statue I’d done over the course of several nights. The conditioning might have broken, but I still struggled to sleep in the dark.
After a lifetime of sleeping during the day—those patterns hadn’t changed overnight.
“Do you like it?” Nervousness scattered down my spine.
Her gaze landed on mine, full of awe. “Do I like it? How can you ask me that? I love it. I more than love it. Roan…it’s perfect.”
My heart hurt as she stroked the bronze artwork with a shaky fingertip.
I let some of who I’d been return, but I did it willingly. I had the choice. I embraced the hunter side of me as I stalked toward the woman I would spend the rest of my life with.
I’d made it for her. A complex blend of her and me. Our beginning and our future. I wanted her to see how much I cared for her. How much I belonged to her and how much she was mine. All mine. For f**king ever.
It wasn’t a clear-cut design, more tribal than certain shapes. Masculine and feminine lines showed a sea-froth full of horses. Five in total with Russian names engraved in their manes.
Clara. Roan. Hazel. Vasily and Vera.
Five points of paradise. Amongst the crashing waves, weaving in with the galloping legs were stars—a million glittering stars inlaid with silver.
Stars for Clara.
Zel sniffed, twisting to face me. “You couldn’t have made a more perfect piece.” Her hands landed on my chest.
I jolted with pleasure, still amazed how much her touch resonated through my every cell.
Her eyes lit with worry. “Are you okay?” She swallowed, her gaze darting all over me. “You aren’t regressing, are you?”
The fear at the thought doused all my lust in an icy wash. I hoped to God that never f**king happened. I couldn’t stomach the thought of living with the conditioning again.
I’d have a brain transplant first. I could never go back.
Shaking my head, I dropped my mouth to hers. She kissed me sweetly, innocently, still slightly afraid.
Pulling away, I murmured, “No. I jumped because I’ll never get used to you touching me. It makes me come alive. It makes me want you so f**king much.”
A blush coloured her cheeks.
I kissed her, nipping at her lower lip. “Touch me again.”
Zel obeyed. Her hands came up and landed on the buttons of my white shirt. Slowly, she unbuttoned it. The room filled with throbbing tension, cracking between us. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her and groaned as she pushed aside the material and placed her hands on my chest.
My c**k swelled.
My vision popped with bright lights.
“Goddammit, Zel you have the power to bring me to my knees.”
Her lips parted and her touch grew firmer, branding me with fire. Every fingertip was f**king heaven. Hot and gentle, possessive and female. She could undo me with a simple stroke.
I held my breath as she pushed the white shirt off my shoulders. My heart raced. “I was the one who wanted to seduce you. But you’re the one in control again.”
Emerald eyes shot to mine and I drowned in f**king love for her. “You don’t need to seduce me.”
I shook my head. “I wanted to remind you that you belong to me. That you may have two little lives to look after, but I still own you, just like you own me.”
She bit her lip as a torrent of emotion skittered over her face. Her finger looped around the star necklace at her throat. The same necklace we wore to honour Clara’s memory. Every time things became too much for her, she’d touch the silver and find peace to carry on. I always knew when she let sadness take her hostage—the light in her would dim—almost as if she left part of herself in this world to go and talk to a daughter who no longer existed in human form.
My heart hurt, remembering the little girl who would’ve been the best big sister in the world. I would never stop thinking of Clara and what she did for me, but tonight wasn’t about grief. Tonight was all about celebration.
“You don’t need to remind me. I know I’m yours. Just like Clara was. Just like Vasily and Vera are. You deserve all of us, Roan. You make me complete.”
I couldn’t help it. I grabbed the back of her neck and crushed her against me. Her taste exploded in my mouth and something snapped in her—meeting the rapidly building need in me.