Five minutes passed eternally slowly, but I never once looked down. I never once ran hands over my flesh, or touched the new ridges of injuries and scars. I knew every inch of my violent past and wished it wasn’t so evident on my skin. I never fisted my c**k or sought to find a quick release.
I’d been conditioned to feel nothing but the will to obey.
My body wasn’t mine to touch or look at. It had belonged to them; it still belonged to them.
With a shaking hand, I wrenched the cold water on and groaned as icy droplets soothed my burned flesh.
It layered the pain with two intense reactions, doubling the relief.
After blasting myself with ice, I turned off the water and stumbled from the shower.
Avoiding looking at myself in the mirror, I wrapped a towel around my waist and entered the dark bedroom. Making sure Zel was still asleep and wouldn’t catch me naked, I slinked soundlessly through the sunlight.
Entering the walk-in wardrobe, I let the towel fall and quickly yanked on black cotton pants, followed by a black t-shirt. Even on my own, I never slept naked—never ran the risk of being unprepared.
The moment I had clothing on again, I relaxed. Along with hiding certain things, my scars were cloaked, too. Hazel didn’t need to see self-inflicted injuries as well as ones earned in duty.
She didn’t need to know anything about me.
Padding over to the bed, I watched her sleep. Her long brown hair fanned the black sheets looking as if she’d become one with the mattress.
Her breathing was so shallow I had to strain to make sure she was alive. She looked so pure, so undamaged, so unlike me.
My eyes fell to the soft curves of her figure below. My c**k twitched at the thought of what I could do to her. What she would let me do for two hundred thousand dollars.
I would f**k her and taste her and use her in every way possible.
In this private purchased world, I could do anything I wanted.
She was mine.
Her mouth parted as she rolled from her side onto her back. One arm flew above her head, thudding against the pillow. Her face scrunched up, eyes fluttered. Either a dream or a nightmare danced behind closed eyelids.
What did normal people dream of? Love and happiness?
“No,” she murmured sleepily.
I froze, waiting for her eyes to fly open. When they stayed closed, I let myself drink in her parted lips, the flush on her cheeks. My thoughts filled with images of her mouth around my c**k and her tongue licking me, tasting me.
I was hard at the thought of a release. I’d forgotten what an orgasm felt like. I had no recollection of the pleasurable explosion I’d felt only twice before.
Zel would teach me to remember. Zel would cure me of my sins.
And I was about to take her.
Linking the chain through my fingers, I leaned down and touched her.
Chapter 7
One terrible mistake ended up giving me the best gift of my life.
Every day was harder, every trial more stressful, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
Before her, I didn’t care about anyone or myself. I stole, I cheated, and I lied. I existed on a downward spiral with a grave for a destination. But she changed me.
Clara.
I used my skill at bullshitting to earn well-paying jobs. I studied relentlessly, teaching myself—a homeless ragamuffin with no education—to qualify for certificates and diplomas.
I forged my past to create a positive future, and it worked. The corporate world opened their doors; a regular income filled my bank account. I earned every penny from hard work.
But then I was fired, and every saved penny went to Clara’s treatment. I existed on the fine edge of destitution.
I sold myself for two hundred thousand dollars to a man I didn’t trust.
To a man who would hurt me more than anyone ever could.
I thought I could save him.
Just like I could save my daughter.
I was wrong.
“You like that? There?” Fox murmured around my nipple. His hands coasted up and down my body, spreading fire, coating me in delicious sensation.
My hands tangled in his hair, massaging his scalp, pressing his mouth harder against me. “Yes, there. Like that.”
He pulled back, white eyes looking soft as snow. “Touch me.”
I dropped my hands and followed the contour of his back, revelling in every ridge of muscle.
He groaned and grabbed me closer, kissing me with everything bared—rocking into me. Rocking, rockin—
“Zel.” Something poked my shoulder, shattering the lust-filled connection. My dream disintegrated into smoke.
“Wake up, you’re having a nightmare.”
I wanted to argue. It wasn’t a nightmare, more like a fantasy. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had such an erotic dream. I fought against losing the kinky comfortable nothingness of sleep; not wanting to return to the world of worries and uncertainty.
The first person to spring to mind was Clara. Her pretty seraphic face, pink with health and youth, smiling happily. But beneath the glow of vitality existed the life-stealing illness that I couldn’t fight.
My heart squeezed, and I struggled to suck in a breath. It never got easier facing the possibility of death for my child.
“Wake up,” Fox growled. His tone banished my sadness, recreating the passion from my dream. My mind entertained thoughts of his arms around me, lips kissing mine. My core throbbed in time to the delicious rocking he’d interrupted.
He had issues, and I would never trust him, but I couldn’t deny the affect he had on my body.
I opened my eyes.
Sunlight!
Shit, I’d spent the entire night? Regret swamped me at the thought of Clara waking up without me. Of Clue explaining that her hooker of a mother was off spending time with someone else.
I’m a terrible mother.
My mind whirled with repercussions. I needed the money, but what was the point if money couldn’t cure her? I’d be wasting a full month of being without her all for nothing.
I can’t do it.
The morning sun brought a new reality, and my heart felt like it’d been ripped out of my chest. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to her while I allowed a stranger to control me.
The soft pleasure from my dream sharpened and twisted in my gut. Fox stood tall, dark, and brutal. His grey eyes glowed; his jaw clenched tight. “You’re awake.”
My stomach fluttered drinking in the ferocious male beside me. I knew three things instantaneously in that moment.
One, I would let him do whatever he wanted because I’d lived a life caring for others for far too long.
Two, I would leave the moment his back was turned. I needed to see Clara.