It’ll change when Clara dies. The inevitable doom sucker-punched me.
After a moment, she pulled back. “She’s going to be so happy to see you.”
I looked toward the door where Clara and I shared a room. We both had single beds, pushed against opposite walls. When we first moved in, even though it was against the landlord’s rules, I’d asked what paint she’d like to decorate with.
Probably a bad idea as I now lived in a purple and pink room with horses stencilled on the walls.
“I know the feeling.” My arms ached to cuddle her and apologise for last night. Throwing Clue’s dress on the arm of a dining room chair, I muttered, “I’ve only been gone twenty-four hours, but it feels like an eternity.”
Clue rubbed my arm. “I must admit, I missed you. Why did you go and talk to him, Zelly? What did he promise to make you stay?”
Promises.
Every promise Fox made he broke.
“Baby?” a masculine voice grumbled from the doorframe of Clue’s room. Ben stood dressed in a pair of blue boxer shorts with polished onyx skin and tight black curls.
I shot Clue a glare. “He’s staying here?”
Clue moved to Ben’s side, fitting into him like the matching puzzle piece. “I wanted to ask you. Ben’s between homes at the moment and needed a place to crash for the week.” Her eyes grew round, pleading with me not to get angry. “I figured with you gone…I didn’t want to be alone. I love Clara like my own, but if something happened—”
Something like rushing her to the hospital or another episode. My heart sank. I’d let them both down.
I held up a hand. “It’s okay. Really.”
Ben gave me a sweet smile. Vague swelling puffed up one cheek, but the deep ebony of his skin meant I couldn’t see any bruises from his fight at Obsidian.
Obsidian.
My heart rate picked up thinking about Fox. He seemed inhuman. He needed help.
All day, I’d flipped between never wanting to see him again, to wanting to torture him as much as he’d tortured me.
A plan formed loosely in my head, mainly thanks to Oscar. I’d asked him what dobycha meant, and he shrugged but tossed me his phone. Thanks to Google translate I found out what had Fox called me.
Prey!
The scalding heat of anger kept me company all the way home. The nerve of him. The egotistical nerve.
Prey. Me! Fox thought I was weak and malleable. He thought he could play with me like a cocky killer who had no mortal enemies.
Well, he’d made an enemy in me. And I had claws.
At least I could thank him for one thing. The Hazel I thought I’d lost—the woman who always won—was back, and I was ready to fight.
Fight for my daughter. Fight for myself. Just f**king fight.
Clue’s eyes fell to my throat, frowning at the extra chain resting on top of the silver star. “Where did you get that?” She disengaged from Ben. Her hand came out to poke and prod. Plucking Fox’s t-shirt from my frame, she asked, “What happened, Zel? You seem… withdrawn.” Cocking her head, she said, “No, that’s not right. You seem pissed off.”
Ben came closer, smiling crookedly. “Uh oh, I know that look.” Holding up his finger, he said, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” He chuckled. “What did that bastard do?” His tone stayed jovial and upbeat, but his face fell when I didn’t reply.
My nostrils flared as a slight twinge between my legs reminded me exactly what that bastard did.
Fox’s snowy eyes popped into my head, full of arrogance, but also a strange contradiction of helplessness.
Clue sucked in a gasp. “Oh, my God, did he hurt you?” She grabbed my hand. “What did he do?”
The fear of being hurt by a man ran deep for both of us. The difference was I bottled mine deep, forcing it to brew with all the other bad memories I’d rather not think about.
Clue, on the other hand, slipped back into the broken creature I’d saved the night I found her. She would never know what happened between Fox and me. I didn’t need her fearing for my sanity or running over there with the police.
Quickly shaking my head, I muttered, “He didn’t do anything to me that I won’t pay him back for.” Stroking her cheek, I smiled. “I came to see Clara, but I’m going back tomorrow. We have a new agreement. One that allows me to spend days with him and nights here.”
So help him if he doesn’t agree to my terms. I’d make him wish he never set eyes on me.
Clue opened her mouth, but Ben draped an arm around her shoulders. “Your friend has a plan. Let’s hear about it in the morning, baby doll. I have to be at the job site in a few hours.”
My body went from lithe and strong to utter fear lockdown. Fox asked me last night what my trigger was.
My trigger was so stupid it was inconsequential. A pet name shouldn’t have the power to hurtle me from safety to hell.
But it did.
Baby doll sent me to a pit of darkness I could never remove from my soul. Clara had been the result of my one and only—until last night—sexual intercourse. But there were many means of inappropriate touching. So many other ways to break a nine-year-old’s spirit.
Baby doll.
It’d been crooned with false love and accompanied with rancid fingers and breath.
I’d learned to run when a man softened his voice and murmured those words.
I’d learned to kill when they trapped me, so I couldn’t flee.
Black clouds swamped my mind, but rather than curling into a ball like I used to, now I just shoved the clouds back. Back into the recesses of my compartmentalized brain where locks and chains kept my bad history archived and secure.
Clue stood frozen to the spot. She didn’t know much about my past, but she knew my issues with those two words. She’d seen me explode and almost shank a man in a bar for groping me and whispering, “Can I buy you a drink, baby doll,” in my ear.
Ben stood there, looking between us. “Did I say something wrong?” His large, black eyes held genuine remorse.
My spine unlocked and I slouched. Flashing a reassuring smile, I murmured, “No. You didn’t do anything wrong. But please, call Clue anything you want, but avoid that one pet name. I’d really appreciate it.”
He swallowed, frowning. “Um, sure. Consider it done.”
Walking past Clue, I grabbed her hand and squeezed before disappearing into the shadowed world of my bedroom and shutting the door.
I woke to sticky hands gathering my hair to plait it. I smiled, heart winging as I opened my eyes.