Your priorities are all screwed up.
I hate myself.
I’ll never forgive myself.
Everything that happened with Fox seemed trivial. So what if he hurt me? So what if I had some saviour complex? So what if it was my fault he’d snapped?
I’d pushed him too far, and I could only blame myself for the consequences. He hadn’t meant to hurt me—beneath the scariness, he was just a man looking for a way out—same as me.
His issues were vampiric, sucking my soul and energy dry until I was empty and shrivelled and on the very ledge of my wit’s end.
I had nothing left to give, but I had to keep going. I didn’t have the luxury of forgetting or indulging in tears.
Clara was the one who needed me.
She was all that mattered.
A whimper escaped, and Corkscrew gathered me into his large midnight arms. His body heat helped burn some of my unhelpful thoughts, granting me a moment of lucidity.
He and Clue barely knew each other, but he’d become a huge part of both our lives. Every night I’d return home, and he would be there. A fabulous cook, considerate houseguest, and completely besotted with Clue.
His deep voice vibrated in his chest. “It’s okay. We’re here for you if and when that happens. For now…Clue. Tell her.”
I went from slouched to stressed again in a second. “Tell me what?”
Clue took a step back. “After the ER, we headed home, but Clara threw a huge tantrum and made us come to you. She refuses to go home without you. I’d never seen her so upset or stubborn. She was a little spitfire.”
My ears rang, clanging with loud, terrifying bells. Please don’t say it—
Ben cleared his throat. “I know it’s not the best idea to bring a kid to an illegal fight club, but…well, she’s here.”
“What?” I screeched, attracting the attention of two burly men warming up in the boxing ring.
They brought my dying daughter to a monster’s house!
“She’s in the car waiting for you. Corkscrew came with me to get into the club. I figured we could all go home together.” Clue stroked my arm, trying to calm me. “It’s okay, Zelly. We’ll have a quiet night—just the three of us—like old times.”
I didn’t listen to a word she said. “You left my daughter in the car in front of an illegal club. How stupid can you be?”
My body was consumed with the thought of Clara being so close to the devil inside Fox. Two parts of my life I wanted to keep separate. Two parts that should never ever mix.
“It was the only way. We couldn’t exactly bring her in here,” Clue said.
No amount of hands could restrain me. I charged.
Slamming open the large, metal doors, I winged my way down the corridor toward the exit.
Please don’t let him be anywhere near her. I balled my hands, praying Fox was still in his bathroom, doing God knows what to bring himself back under control.
I couldn’t stomach the thought of him being around such a precious, breakable thing.
If he so much as looks at her.
Rage, hot and brewing, geysered in my blood. Every single motherly instinct vibrated on overdrive.
The second life changing thing happened when I threw open the front door.
My heart bucked as I charged from inside to out and skidded to a halt.
Oh, my God.
No. Please let it be a hallucination.
It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t.
Clue swerved to a stop beside me just before Ben hurtled to a standstill next to her. “What the hell?” Clue muttered. “Care to tell me what the—”
I swallowed a scream, and I charged like a hundred cavalry. My arms were muskets. My legs were cannons. My voice was trumpets warning the enemy they were about to die. “Get away from her!”
Fox looked up, white eyes wide as I skidded to a stop. He didn’t move an inch as I bared my teeth like a feral cat and yanked Clara away from him.
Their hands snapped loose and Clara tripped, stumbling against my body. “Ow!”
I’d never felt so sick, so violent, so absolutely ready to draw blood. Panting, I shoved her behind my legs, barricading her tiny frame with mine. I faced the man I thought I could care for, the man I secretly wished I could love, and released all my animosity and capsized emotions.
“Don’t you dare touch her! What were you thinking? Just because you weren’t able to hurt me you thought you’d hurt my daughter? Shame on you!”
Fox flinched as if I’d slapped him, bowing his head.
Clara squirmed, breaking my hold to position herself in front of me. My eyes flew between her and Fox, counting the feet between them—assessing the risk if he were to tackle her to the ground.
Her bright, expressive eyes met mine. Fear and confusion painted her cheeks. “What are you doing, mummy? He wasn’t hurting me! We’re friends. We shook hands as that’s what new friends do. Remember? You taught me.” Her little foot stomped in the gravel. “He didn’t do anything wrong. Leave him alone!”
Her temper was alive and well. In a moment, I assessed her skin colour, her ease of breathing—searching for any sign she was closer to death than she was to life. But she practically glowed, looking rosy cheeked and fierce.
She’d never been a normal child. So bold and into everything; endless questions and no fear when it came to talking to everyone.
I looked over her head at Fox. He hadn’t moved. No matter how many times I blinked, I couldn’t remove the image of Clara’s tiny hand swallowed up by Fox’s large one. The same hand that’d strangled me and held me firm while he f**ked me ruthlessly. The same hand that’d been scarred countless times doing things even he couldn’t live with.
Ignoring Clara, I hissed, “Fox. You heard me. Don’t you go near her again. This wasn’t part of the deal.”
His eyes came up slowly as if the weight of his crimes crushed his shoulders with a heavy yoke. “I’m sorry.” He blinked, shaking his head. Comprehension and aliveness filtered into his silver gaze. “I couldn’t help it. I—” His eyes flew to Clara. Immediately they swelled with adoration and awe. My heart stopped with how—consumed he looked—how completely different. He’d been transformed from angry warrior to soft giant who hung on every word of a child. “She—she’s perfect, Zel.”
Slowly, he creaked upright, running hands through his hair. He shook himself as if he was a bear coming out of hibernation. “You’ll never understand how much I hate myself for what happened between us today. No amount of apologies will ever redeem my actions, but please believe me when I say I would never hurt your child.” His mouth twisted and he punched himself in the chest. “I give you my oath.”