“I know,” he replied.
“And you know I love your sister?” I asked.
He didn’t answer. His eyes were again on the street and he just nodded.
I looked to the street and made my decision.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, honey,” I said softly on a squeeze. “But I’m going to try to figure out something. I promise you. Do you believe me?”
I looked down at him and he nodded again.
“You’re going to have to give me time, okay? In the meantime, I’m going to buy you a cell and I’m going to go to the grocery store tomorrow after work to get you guys some food. And I’m going to give you some emergency money. You’ve got to find a good hiding place for the phone and money. But if he gets it, don’t worry about it, okay? Just tell me the next time you see me and we’ll try again. Okay?”
He nodded and whispered, “Yeah, okay.”
“And Mitch is a police detective. I’m going to talk to him and see what my options are.”
Billy’s head shot up, he looked at me and for the first time in the short time he knew Mitch his eyes lit with a positive light.
“That guy’s a cop?”
I nodded. “Unh-hunh. He’ll know who I need to talk to.”
“Will he help us?” Billy asked and my heart clenched as I looked into his hopeful yet sad and defeated eyes, like he wanted desperately for me to say yes but expected me to say no. I found this odd, I found it disturbing and I also found it heart wrenching.
“That’s what he does, buddy,” I told him. “He does it for a living, helping people, protecting them, keeping them safe. He’ll help you and Billie and he’ll help me help you. I’m certain of it.”
I gave him another squeeze to allay his fears and to hide the fact that I really didn’t want to ask for Mitch’s help. But I had no choice. Billy and Billie had no one but Bill. Bill’s sister was a mess and living her own dysfunction back in Iowa. Bill’s Mom was arguably crazier and meaner than mine and she didn’t do a great job raising Bill and his sister, she’d suck at raising Billy and Billie.
It was only me. And me it was going to be.
“Can we stay with you tonight?” Billy asked.
I pulled in breath and nodded.
Apparently, I was going to need to get a different apartment, one with three bedrooms rather than two. A lot of things were going to need to change.
“We need to stop by your house to get your stuff and tell your Dad, though,” I informed him.
“He won’t even know we’re gone,” Billy replied.
This was probably true.
“We still have to do it,” I replied. Billy’s face got hard and I gave him another squeeze before I let him go and bumped his side with my own, smiled at him and stated, “At least to go get your stuff. You can’t go to school tomorrow wearing the same clothes.”
“We got nothin’ clean,” Billy told me.
My teeth clenched again.
Then I forced myself to smile before I said, “Lucky I have a washer and dryer at my house.”
“Right,” Billy muttered then he smiled back.
I felt him before I saw him but not fast enough. His hand still holding Billie’s, who was skipping in place by his side, Mitch was right behind us and Billy and I both twisted. I looked up at the same time Mitch’s hand swept my ponytail to the side. That hand rested warm and strong at the back of my neck in a familiar and intimate way which was a complete shock. A shock I liked way too much but freaked me out even more.
“Table’s ready,” he told me.
“Burritos!” Billie shouted.
“Awesome,” Billy muttered, jumped down and raced around the bench.
I was frozen in place. Mitch’s hand hadn’t moved even as Billie let his other one go and raced up to and through the front doors with her brother.
“What’s the story?” Mitch asked, his eyes tipped down to me.
“I need to figure out how to get custody of my second cousins,” I answered and watched his eyes flash.
“That bad?” he murmured.
“They’ve had nothing to eat all day. There’s no food in the house. Their father was passed out. He had no money. They couldn’t call me because they have no phone. And Bill stole the gold locket I bought Billie for her birthday a day after I gave it to her,” I told him, watched his eyes flash again as his hand tightened at my neck and I kept talking. “And there’s a mysterious man who visits the house that freaks Billy out.”
Mitch’s gaze didn’t leave mine as he muttered, “Fuck.”
I nodded then went on, “Billy hates him. A lot. I don’t know how bad it has to get but that’s bad enough for me.”
He took his hand from my neck, I missed it even though I didn’t want to but I didn’t have to miss it long. He leaned forward and rested his weight in his hand on the back of the bench which brought the rest of his torso and definitely his face close to me.
When his eyes locked back on mine, he asked quietly, “You need me to help?”
There it was; the offer I needed. An offer that terrified me but I had no choice but to take it.
“Since I don’t know the system and you do and I love those kids and I need to get them away from that mess, yes. Any advice you can give me would be appreciated,” I answered and I did it fast before I lost the courage to do it at all.
His eyes kept mine captive but they changed. I couldn’t put my finger on how but however it was made a whoosh sweep through my belly.
“I can do more than advice, sweetheart,” he said, still talking quietly.
“Whatever you could do, Mitch, like I said, would be appreciated.”
His eyes moved over my face then when they caught mine again, he noted, “You care about them.”
“I love them.”
“Family?” he asked probingly.
“They’re great kids,” I answered telling him it was much more than blood ties.
“They love you,” he said softly.
“I know,” I replied just as soft.
“You’ve struggled with this awhile,” he surmised.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
He stayed leaned into his one hand, his other hand came up to curl around the side of my neck and his thumb swept my jaw as he said, “Makin’ the decision is half the battle, sweetheart.”
I sucked in breath through my nose, pulled my lips between my teeth and closed my eyes. When I opened them, I’d slid them away so I wasn’t looking at him.