“I know,” I replied. “But Mitch –”
“And friends,” he interrupted. “Child Protective Services are gonna talk to everyone you know. They should have a head’s up. You’ll need to get school runs sorted and have somethin’ set up for afterschool and weekend days you work. I’ll do what I can. Ma said she’d do what she can. LaTanya works only twenty hours a week and she’ll probably pitch in. Bray’s hours are like yours so he can probably help out. But that’s short-term. Long-term, you’re gonna need to get childcare sorted out. With me?”
Wow, he’d thought about this more than me.
“Um…” I mumbled.
“They’ll also inspect this place,” Mitch went on. “You’ll need beds. They’ll talk to you and they’ll set you up with foster parent classes. I’ll stop by the Management Office and see if they got any townhomes open. The kids need more space but you do this, you need to be close to your posse and they got a block of townhomes across the creek.”
“Mitch –”
He dumped the scrambled eggs into the waiting melted butter in the skillet and looked at me. “Get the butter and jelly, baby.”
I moved to the fridge to get the butter and jelly. And I did this mostly because if he told me to throw myself in front of a train, but did it adding the word “baby”, I would have done it. I put the butter and all three jars of jelly on the bar in front of the kids, turned to Mitch and the toast popped up. So I grabbed the butter, slid down the counter to open a drawer and get a knife. I pulled out the toast, put in more bread and started spreading butter.
“Maybe we should talk about this when the kids –” I began.
“They gotta eat and they gotta get to school,” Mitch cut me off again, moving the cooking eggs around the skillet. “You also gotta look into changing their school when all this is formalized. They’ll need to be moved to a school closer to home.”
“Are we movin’ in with you, Auntie Mara?” Billie asked, her tone slightly confused and I turned to her.
Then I pressed my lips together because her face looked slightly confused too and I preferred Billie looking happy and carefree.
“Yeah, honey, I hope so. Your Daddy needs to sort a few things out,” I told her quietly.
She stared at me uncertain and I didn’t like that either.
“I think it’s cool,” Billy put in. “Auntie Mara’s house is clean. Bray and Brent and Derek and LaTanya and Mitch all live close by and she’s always got food.”
Billie’s teeth started worrying her lip as she studied her brother. Then she asked, “But who’s gonna stay with Daddy?”
“Who cares?” Billy asked back and I moved to the counter.
“Billie,” I called and her worried eyes moved to mine. I leaned into my forearms on the counter. “I know you’re worried about your Daddy but he’s an adult so he needs to worry about himself,” I told her. “You’re a kid and that means, while you’re a kid, someone’s supposed to worry about you, take care of you, make sure you have food in your belly and shampoo for your hair.” I got up on my toes and leaned closer to her as my voice dipped quiet. “I love you, baby, and I want that person to be me. I want to make sure you’re always okay and not have to worry that you aren’t eating and your clothes aren’t clean. And the only way for me not to have to worry about that is for me to take care of you myself. If your Daddy gets himself sorted out, we’ll see. But in the meantime will you let me do that for you? Make sure you have shampoo, food and someone to look out for you? Is that okay with you?”
“But Daddy will be all alone,” she replied in a small voice.
“I know, sweetie,” I whispered. “But I can’t help him, he has to help himself. What I can do is look after you.” I reached out a hand and set it flat on the bar in front of her. “And I want to. I want you here with me, Billie. Will you stay with me?”
“You want me here with you?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Do you want Billy?” she asked.
“Definitely,” I answered.
She stared at me then her eyes moved beyond me to Mitch before she looked back to me. “I like my new shampoo, it smells pretty.”
I smiled at her. “Is that a yes, baby?”
“Are you lonely without us?” she whispered.
“I worry about you when I’m not with you,” I told her. “If you’re with me, I don’t have to worry anymore.”
“I don’t want you to worry.” She was still whispering. “But I don’t want Daddy to worry either.”
“Dad won’t worry,” Billy muttered and Billie’s head swung to him.
“Look at me,” I called quickly as her lip started to tremble and Billie’s eyes came back to mine. “You don’t have to make a decision now. Just have Mitch’s eggs. Go to school and you can think about it. We’ll talk about it again when you’re ready. Is that a deal?”
She took in a breath then nodded. “Deal,” she whispered.
“Okay, baby,” I whispered back.
Then I felt heat at my back as Mitch leaned into me to set two plates filled with fluffy scrambled eggs and buttered toast, with cutlery resting on the side of the plate, in front of both of the kids. Once he’d done this he stayed where his was, both fists on the counter on either side of me, his body pressed to mine.
“Eat up, we gotta get on the road,” he ordered.
Billie looked down at her food. Billy looked down at Mitch’s fists in the counter. I tried to straighten and slide away which meant one of Mitch’s hands left the counter and his arm curled around my belly.
“You want toast, sweetheart?” he asked quietly in my ear.
I figured I’d throw up if I tried to eat anything. But I nodded because I was hoping he was offering to make me some and he couldn’t make me toast pressed into and holding me. Therefore, I nodded.
I was right. He let me go and I heard the bread bag rustling.
Billy’s eyes came to my face and he studied me looking about fifty years older than he actually was. Then he started eating.
Billie was already wolfing her food down at the same time inspecting the unusual plethora of jelly at her disposal.
I was thinking of school runs, Child Protection Services, buying new beds, when I’d have time to take foster parent classes and Mitch’s “Ma”. I was thinking about this so hard Mitch was in front of me holding a plate of buttered toast before I knew it.