This did not work and I quit trying.
But it stood to reason that Cooter went to Vanessa and any of the other women he might or might not have cheated on me with those times he was late home because it was actually me who wasn’t good at it. I was not his first but he was my first and only and he didn’t exactly take his time to teach me nor did he make our bed a safe place to learn.
And it was clear with the first kiss Sam and I had shared that I didn’t know what I was doing. Just with kissing. So the rest of it might be even worse.
And that couldn’t happen.
It couldn’t.
After the last twenty-four hours with Sam, it couldn’t end like that.
The horrible kiss was humiliating enough, if I couldn’t satisfy Sam in bed that would be mortifying.
And by the time we got to my door, I’d convinced myself that was what was going to happen. That hot kiss with Sam this morning and the one five minutes ago were flukes.
And I couldn’t tell him this. I couldn’t explain any of this.
“Baby, your key?” Sam prompted as I stood staring at the door, trying to figure out how to get out of ha**ng s*x with Sam and how to talk him into being my hot guy friend that I made out with twice instead.
My head jerked up to look at him then it jerked down and I pulled my purse off my shoulder, dug inside and came out with my key.
Whether it was because Sam saw my hands shaking (and they were) or he was just being Sam, he slid it gently from my fingers, unlocked the door, pushed it open and held it for me to precede him.
I didn’t want to but I did.
Sam followed me and the door closed behind him.
I stopped breathing and my stomach clutched.
Sam hit the light switch and several lights came on around the room.
That jolted me to action.
“Sam –” I started but he was right there, his hand wrapped around the side of my neck, pulling me in and tilting my head back with his thumb at my jaw.
His face was so close, it was all I could see when he whispered, “Breathe, baby, just breathe. Stay with me, two minutes, stay with me. Then I promise to make it okay.”
Two minutes?
He promised to make it okay?
“Promise me you’re gonna stay with me,” he ordered.
I bit my lip.
Two minutes.
I could do that. Right?
I nodded.
He let me go instantly and moved around the room, turning off all the lights but one by the bed.
Then he came to me and guided me to the bed.
Oh no.
“Sam –” I began again.
“Baby, you promised.”
I did.
I shut up.
He turned me and gently pressed me to seat me at the side of the bed. Then he bent, hooked a hand behind my knee, lifted my leg and slipped off my sandal. Repeat with the other one. Then he sat down beside me.
I sucked in breath.
“One more minute, Kia,” he said gently.
I turned my head to him and nodded again.
He pulled off his boots and socks.
Then he turned to me and in a smooth, swift movement, he wrapped an arm around my waist and hauled me up the bed so we were lying perpendicular across the middle of it, both down to our sides, facing each other.
Okay, no.
No.
I didn’t know how much time was left on Sam’s two minutes but I had to break my promise.
And that was why I whispered, “I don’t think I can –”
His hand cupped my cheek, his thumb out to press lightly on my lips and he whispered back, “You don’t have to Kia. I can.”
I shook my head and, even with his thumb still at my lips, I told him, “I’m not… I don’t think I’m good at this.”
“Trust me.”
Oh God.
No way!
I could not f**k this up. It would ruin everything and the everything we already had was everything.
I could live without having more. At that point, I was sure of it.
“Sam –”
His hand went from my jaw to trail down my shoulder, my arm, my wrist and down to my hand. He pulled it to him, dipping it under his shirt then sliding it up and my fingers hit his hot, sleek skin.
The grip my panicked thoughts had on my mind instantly released as it registered the feel of his skin. The muscle under it was hard, solid, but the skin was so warm it was hot and so soft it was silky.
It felt nice. Very nice.
Sam’s mouth touched mine gently as his hand moved mine up the skin of his side, taking his shirt with it and the added lip touch was sweet.
“I’m gonna take care of you,” Sam whispered against my lips.
“Okay,” I whispered back.
My hand moved of its own accord to experience more, explore the definition of the muscles of his back, take in more of his hot silk and Sam’s hand came to my jaw, gliding back and up into my hair as his head moved, his lips sliding across my cheek to my ear.
“I’m gonna taste your mouth again,” he whispered and I shivered.
His hand slid down my neck, down my spine, light, sweet.
God.
So freaking sweet.
“I’m gonna taste your skin,” Sam kept whispering and then he did, touching his tongue to sensitive area under my ear and I shivered again, pressing slightly closer, my hand continuing its exploration at his back. “There,” he whispered at the skin below my ear. “Here,” he went on, his hand now whisper-soft and moving up my side. “Here,” he kept whispering, his hand moving in over my ribs. “And here,” he continued, his thumb drifting at the underside of the swell of my breast.
I drew in breath as my belly plummeted and heat gathered between my legs.
His mouth slid back to mine and, his eyes holding mine, his lips moving on mine, he whispered, “And also here.”
Then his thumb moved up, dragging across my nipple. I gasped and he kissed me, his tongue driving inside my mouth.
Oh yes.
Yes.
I kissed him back, pressing close, lifting my leg and hooking it over his hip, my arm going tight around him. His thumb dragged back, this time deeper, tighter, harder against my nipple and I whimpered into his mouth.
“Yeah, Kia, baby, give me that,” he growled into mine then he kissed me again, longer, wetter, taking more.
I pressed my h*ps into his and gave it.
Then he did what he told me he’d do. Suddenly, his hands were in my tank, going up and it was gone. Then, before I could think, his mouth was on me, on my neck, down, on my chest, down, his body bending, his lips and tongue gliding down the skin of my side, then up over my ribcage, all the while his hand moved on my back, down over my bottom, soothing at the same time heating, light but enticing.