And the ones he’d given me were freaking spectacular.
His fist relaxed in my hair but his hand didn’t leave it. His fingers sifted then twisted gently, tangling in the strands and staying there as Sam kept his c**k rooted, connected to me and, as I tilted my chin down, his head slid up so I felt his breath under the skin of my ear.
Finished, I was languishing in the feel of all that was him, his heat, his power, his weight all held tight in my circling limbs, the aftermath, the connection of Sam still deep inside, his breath at my ear.
Then it hit me he wasn’t speaking.
And then it hit me that Sam communicated. It couldn’t be said I had a lot of experience with guys but my friends did and they talked about them all the time, talked as in bitched, and one of the things they bitched about the most was that the men in their lives never communicated.
Sam did.
All the time.
He was open. He was honest. He shared.
But now he wasn’t saying a word.
Oh God.
Shit!
“Uh…” I forged into the silence then asked quickly, “Was that okay?”
Sam didn’t answer immediately.
Then he didn’t answer at all but instead asked, “What?”
I kept my eyes glued to the ceiling and repeated, “Was that, uh… okay?”
Sam’s head came up and he looked down at me.
God. God.
He was beautiful.
Even more beautiful covering me and connected to me.
“Was that okay?” he repeated my question.
“Uh… yeah.”
He stared at me.
Then he burst out laughing, throwing his head back to do it and everything.
In the middle of it, his body suddenly collapsed on mine, I wheezed when I took his massive weight but I took it for a nanosecond before he rolled, performing a miracle as he did because he kept us connected even when he was on his back, I was on top and somehow I ended up straddling him.
I lifted my head up and looked down at him to see he was still laughing.
“I wasn’t being funny,” I whispered.
Both his hands came up to either side of my head and I watched him struggle to control his continuing laughter as he took in my face.
Then he asked, “Was it okay for you?”
Okay was not the word for it. Okay was not just not in the ballpark. Okay was not even in the same galaxy.
I did not share this with Sam.
Instead I answered, “Yeah.”
He kept chuckling but he moved his hands from my head and wrapped his arms around me and repeated my, “Yeah.”
It was safe to say I didn’t know what to do with that.
So I sought clarification.
“So is that a yeah, it was okay for you or a yeah, you heard and comprehended my yeah through your amusement?”
“Both,” he said through a grin.
“Oh,” I whispered, my eyes moving to the pillowcase. “Okay,” I finished.
“Kia, eyes on me,” Sam ordered gently and my eyes slid back to him to see he wasn’t smiling anymore and there was no trace of hilarity. He was focused, intent and serious but all of that in a tender way that made something important shift inside of me. “Makin’ you melt for me then makin’ you light up for me, listening to you get excited, feeling it, tasting it, eating it.” His words made me shiver and it helped that his hand was gliding up my back, my neck and into my hair then he pulled my head down so my face was an inch from his and he continued on a whisper, “Feelin’ you come against my mouth, watchin’ you drive yourself down on my dick, listening to you moan as your pu**y clenched around my c**k when you came, baby, yeah, that was all okay, that was better than f**kin’ okay. It was f**kin’ beautiful.”
Such was my relief, I closed my eyes and dropped my head so my forehead was resting against his.
I opened my eyes and lifted my head when he asked, “Okay?”
I nodded.
He smiled a small but sweet smile as his arm around me gave me a squeeze.
Then he ordered, “Kiss me then get off me. Yeah?”
I nodded again. Then I pressed my lips to his and would have pulled back but his hand in my hair kept me there and his arm around my back held me tight as his mouth opened, his tongue touched my lips, my lips opened then his tongue touched mine.
Then Sam let me lift my head, I pulled myself off, sliding Sam out of me (which kind of sucked because he was still hard and he felt good there) then he rolled me to his side.
Then he yanked the covers from under me, pulled them up over me, exited the bed and headed to the bathroom.
I closed my eyes and drew in breath.
Okay.
Sam thought that was beautiful.
So did I.
I let out my breath, opened my eyes and smiled.
Sam came back and I watched with no small amount of fascination as he pulled off his jeans, tugged back the covers and got in bed beside me.
He slid close then pushed an arm under my body, pulling me so into his side I was plastered partially to it and partially on top of him.
I lifted my head just as the fingers of his other hand tangled in the hair at my shoulder, gave it a gentle tug and my eyes hit his to see his were on me and they weren’t serious, they were deadly serious.
“Okay, baby, now that my c**k is no longer inside you and when it is, that is a place he’ll never be, I’ll say this straight. You don’t get it straight, we work on it but I’ll say it straight and maybe it’ll penetrate and you can focus on the Kia you are, not the Kia he dragged down and made you be.”
Uh-oh.
I wasn’t sure I was big on where this was heading.
“Sam –”
“Just let me finish, yeah?”
I didn’t want to say yeah so I didn’t.
But I nodded.
Sam didn’t delay.
“I am not him, Kia. Your dead husband is dead. Before he was dead he was a dick. He was a moron. He was an ass**le. And now he’s gone. You’re in bed with me. Me. Whatever you had with him in your life and your bed, that’s as dead as him. I’m here because I wanna be here. And in about ten minutes, when we’re done talkin’ about that ass**le and he’s gone again, I’m gonna get you wet and hot for me and I’m gonna be in you because I wanna be in you. And, trust me, I’m a man so I can say with a fair amount of authority there are not many men who would not kill for the chance of bein’ naked in a bed with you na**d and pressed up against him after he got the gift you just gave me. It’s just that that man is now me and he’s gonna be me for a good long while. Do you get me?”
“I… I think so,” I stammered, staring into his serious eyes.