So the tears slid silently out of my eyes, down my cheeks and Gray turned me in his arms to face him. My arms closed around him, I shoved my face in his chest and I concentrated on that rather than running after my brother and giving him all of my money just to keep him safe for a little while.
Instead, for the first time since I was fifteen, I didn’t look out for my brother.
I cried in Gray’s arms and looked out for me.
* * * * *
“Dollface, know you’re awake.”
I blinked at the pillow, sighed and turned to face Gray.
He looked beautiful in the sunlight, in the moonlight, in the lights of the bar, in the light thrown from a TV.
But he never looked more beautiful than in the morning with his head on a pillow beside me.
“Hi,” I whispered, sliding my hands up his chest and his lips curved up.
“Hi,” he whispered back, his arm not around my shoving under me so both of them could gather me close.
He dipped his chin, I tipped my head back and he brushed his mouth on mine.
Then his hair slid across the pillow as he pulled slightly away but gathered me even closer.
“You doin’ okay?” he asked, his blue eyes studying me.
“No,” I answered honestly.
“You’ll get there,” he muttered.
I would. It would take some time but I would. And it would hurt but I would still get there.
“He’s a man,” Gray went on. “It’s time he acted like one, baby. Took care of his own shit. You still haven’t shared and I told you I’d wait, I’ll wait. But I know this, what you were doin’, and I get the impression you been doin’ it awhile, it is wild-ass luck you two made it this far without some kinda tragedy. And he’s a man. Those tragedies he could face are a far sight fewer and a far sight easier to move on from than what a woman could take. He put you out there. You. A miracle you didn’t get chewed up. You didn’t. Hold onto that. Hold onto the decent you carved out for yourself and let go of the shit.”
“He’s all I had for a long time, Gray,” I whispered.
“Yeah. And what you said last night is true. He’s not all you have anymore, Ivey. You’re with people who give a shit about you now.” When I opened my mouth to speak, his arms gave me a squeeze and he went on. “I mean give a shit about you in a healthy way not some f**ked up, dysfunctional way borne of whatever-the-fuck you two had goin’ was borne of. I get that you love him. I get he’s your brother. I get that you worry about him. But he shoulda sorted his shit and yours a long time ago and I also get that this has come to you. Don’t let guilt and worry fog that, darlin’. You’re on the right path. Don’t allow him to veer you away.”
I held his eyes then, nodding, I dipped my chin and pressed my face to his throat.
Gray tilted his head back and sifted his fingers in my hair. Then he kept doing it.
I let him because I liked it, it was soothing and after he did this for awhile, I asked his throat, “You know what I wish?”
“I can guess, dollface, but tell me anyway.”
“I wish I’d met your Dad because I would like to have had the chance to meet the man who made a man like you.”
His hand stopped and his body went completely still.
My head tipped back and his tipped down and I saw instantly he didn’t guess correctly. His eyes held surprise and something else, something I’d never seen on him or anyone.
But whatever it was, it made the area around my heart get warm.
“Gray?” I called when he didn’t say anything.
“You still fallin’ in love with me?”
I stared, my cheeks now getting warm and opened my mouth to answer affirmative when he went on.
“’Cause you should know, baby, I’m already gone for you.”
My mouth stayed open only because at that point it was hanging open.
Then I snapped it closed and asked, “You love me?”
“Yeah,” Gray answered.
“You love me,” I stated but it was still a question.
Gray grinned, dimple and all and he repeated, “Yeah.”
Tears filled my eyes and I whispered it again, “You love me.”
Gray’s grin faded, he rolled me so I was on my back and he was mostly on me. His face got really close and he whispered back, “Yeah.”
I stared into his blue eyes with their russet tipped lashes and shared quietly, “I fell for you after you first kissed me.”
And quietly back from Gray I got, “I win since I fell for you that night at my kitchen table when you blew on me.”
Oh God.
When I blew on him.
Oh God!
He went blurry as tears filled my eyes.
“Say you love me, Ivey,” he ordered.
“I love you, Gray,” I did as ordered.
“Good, baby, because I love you too,” he whispered.
Then, finally, he kissed me.
Then he made love to me, he did it slow, it was sweet, it was beautiful and if I had any questions that I was on the wrong path, which I did not, then I wouldn’t anymore.
I’d driven all over the country and back again probably eight times.
But finally, I was going in the right direction.
Chapter Seventeen
Veer Crazily Under My Feet
Six weeks and a day later…
“Fuck, I shoulda planned for this,” Gray muttered, lips at my throat and I knew what he meant.
We were na**d in my bed. We’d finished. It was fabulous. So fabulous, as usual, we wanted to start up again.
And he needed to get home to Grandma Miriam.
His hands slid up my sides, one moving in to cup my breast but my fingers curled around his waist.
“Get off me, Gray, you gotta go home to your Gran,” I whispered even though I really didn’t want to and he growled against the skin under my ear.
I shivered.
His head came up, his hand leaving my breast to frame my face. “Love her, you know it darlin’. My Mom left and she stepped up and was there for me. When she lost her legs, I vowed I’d pay her back and she could depend on me no matter what, no matter how long it lasted. But, right now, I wish my uncles weren’t ass**les and most of my cousins didn’t hightail their asses outta Mustang to get away from their ass**le Daddies ‘cause this shit is killin’ me.”
I knew what he meant about that too.
Audie was good for once a week and Audie had stepped in for us with no notice when we needed him, going to Gray’s after Casey did his thing at The Rambler so Gray was free to stay with me. But Audie made it clear that was all Gray got. And Grandma Miriam refused to let anyone but Audie, Gray or me help her with things at the house.