That would leave a mark, but then again Raiden often left a mark.
He liked it and, it must be said, I did too.
Raiden barely finished before he rolled so I was on top, he tucked my face in his neck and his voice was rough when he murmured, “Missed you, honey.”
I loved it that he did.
I closed my eyes and pressed closer.
He was gone only two days, but I missed him, too.
Before I could share this, his arms around me got tight and he went on, “But don’t do that shit again.”
I blinked into his skin.
“Sorry?”
“You didn’t like it.”
I lifted my head and looked down at him. “I didn’t like what?”
“Crawling for me. I know it now, won’t ask you to do it again, but you didn’t like it and you did it. Don’t do that again.”
“But I…” I stopped then started again. “You told me to trust you. I trusted you. And it worked out in the end.”
“Did you like it?” he asked.
“I was… uncertain,” I admitted.
“You’re uncertain, we do something else and talk about it later. After we talk about it, maybe you’ll want to try it, maybe you won’t, but it’s your choice, Hanna. You’re on your hands and knees on the floor. Not me.”
I studied him. I couldn’t tell for sure, but it seemed he was upset.
I had to know so I asked quietly, “Are you angry at me?”
His eyes narrowed and his arms around me tensed. “Fuck no.”
“Then—”
“Babe, you gave that to me, beautiful. But playing is supposed to be fun for both of us. You play like we play, communication is crucial.”
That was great and all, but I was confused. “If you knew I didn’t like it, why did you keep doing it?”
“I’ve done stuff to you; you hesitate but then let go and get off on it. I couldn’t tell until you were closer and I moved. I had more planned, saw you were not with me on that, gave you my cock.”
“Oh,” I whispered.
“So promise me. I know you wanna please me and I like that a lot, honey, but don’t do that shit again.”
I looked into his unusual, amazing green eyes. I felt his hard body under mine, his c**k still inside me, his arms tight around me and I knew it wasn’t Raiden who was going fast.
I was picking up speed, doing it as I fell, falling faster and faster.
For him.
Obviously, I didn’t share this.
Instead, I said, “I promise.”
“Good,” he muttered. He lifted up, touched his mouth to mine, fell back and ordered, “Now slide off me, baby. I’ll be back.”
I slid off his c**k and rolled off his body. Raiden leaned in to kiss my jaw and his lips trailed down so the tip of his tongue could glide over where I knew his mark would be before he reached out and pulled the afghan over me. Then, naked, he got off the mattress and moved toward the bathroom.
I gathered the afghan close around my body and stared at his pillowcase.
I’d crawled across a room for Raiden Miller.
And it was him, not me, who stopped it because I didn’t like it.
Which made me look back and like it.
Because he just demonstrated (again) he was going to take care of me.
I needed to pull it together and start the process of taking care of him.
I just didn’t know how. What I did know was that what I just did was not the how.
So I had to figure out the how.
* * * * *
The next morning…
The minute the hinges on the door screamed after Raiden went into the bathroom to deal with the used condom, I tossed the covers back, grabbed his tee from the side of the bed and pulled it on as I dashed silently across the room to the picture frame.
I needed to understand.
But I couldn’t ask him.
Not yet.
I had to learn as much as I could without him.
Snatching up the frame, my heart racing, my eyes moved over the faces of the men in the picture.
I couldn’t take them in, not yet.
I was looking for Raiden.
I found him, back row, one in, his arms slung around both men at his sides. The one at the end had a scary-huge gun, butt to his hip, barrel pointed out. Raiden was smiling, white teeth, eyes crinkled, dark wraparound shades pushed back on his head.
Mouthwatering.
Heartbreaking.
I just got the chance, and pulled up enough courage, to take in the faces of the two men on either side of him before I heard the toilet flush.
I put the frame back where it was, raced across the room to the kitchen-ish area, anxiously searched it and found a coffeepot nearly hidden by boxes and dishes. At the bottom was a thick, black crust.
The hinges screamed right before I snatched the handle of the pot and yanked it out making boxes and bowls teeter dangerously. I turned and saw Raiden exit the bathroom buck naked.
I lifted the pot and asked, “Seriously?”
A smile spread across his face as his feet brought him to me. He pulled the pot out of my hand and tossed it on the mess on his counter where it miraculously found purchase between a box of Fruit Loops and a stack of bowls. His hands then went right to my booty, he lifted me up and I wrapped my limbs around him.
He walked us to the bed, turned his back to it and we went down, me on top.
After we bounced, I lifted up to forearms light in his chest and he announced, “We’ll shower, go to Rachelle’s, get breakfast and coffee.”
“Affirmative,” I agreed and his lips curled up then I declared. “I get battle pay for doing it, but I’m taking an afternoon this week in this crazy den of yours to sort it out so it’s livable. By that I mean you can make a pot of coffee and close your drawers since the rest is beyond my capabilities, unless you rent me a sandblaster and give me a credit card at Sears.”
His body was lightly shaking under mine when he asked, “What does battle pay consist of?”
“I’ll decide later.”
“Babe, you make this place livable, whatever it is, I’ll pay it.”
I grinned at him.
He was already smiling and he kept doing it.
It hit me suddenly that in all the time I spent waiting for him, watching for him at Rachelle’s, when I saw him he would grin at his sister, and maybe if he was in a good mood he would smile, but other than that never did he walk in or move through smiling.
And I’d never heard or seen him laughing.
But he used to do it all the time before he left. I’d watched avidly in the corridors and cafeteria at the high school when he did it. Even if things at home were tight and he lived with the knowledge that his Dad was a massive dick, he had a good life back then and he demonstrated that frequently.