But I had no choice.
My mind replayed sinking inside her—hearing her moans, feeling her clench around me as she shattered.
Fuck.
Go.
Before it’s too late.
Before she sees.
Before he sees.
Before everyone sees the goddamn truth.
Dragging a hand through my hair, I glanced at her once out of the corner of my eye. She sat dishevelled and used. Her dress bunched around her waist, her broken knickers discarded on the floor, and her lips swollen and red.
I refused to look between her legs and see the sticky evidence of the best orgasm of my life. I thought blowing down her throat was amazing, but it’d been nothing compared to thrusting inside her.
I’d held back at the start, knowing I would be too big for her.
But like everything about Nila, she’d surprised me. She’d been able to take my entire length, and the moment I’d felt her body give and welcome, that was it for me.
I’d fucking lost it.
“Jethro—”
I held up my hand, cursing the tremble in my muscles. “Don’t. Stay here for the rest of the day. Do. Not. Tell. Anyone. You hear me?” My eyes narrowed, and I hoped I looked vicious and crazed, rather than unguarded and scared shitless about the consequences of what we’d done.
I knew what they’d do to her if they found out.
She didn’t.
It was best to keep it that way.
When Nila didn’t respond, I growled, “Promise me. This is our fucking secret. Don’t tell anyone. Got it?”
Wrapping her arms around her knees, she looked five years younger than she actually was. Her legs were coltish and long, her grace almost balletic. She was the perfect willowy female, but with soft curves and fragility came danger.
Danger in the form of being so fucking breakable.
“I won’t tell anyone, Jethro.”
“Good.” Stomping to the door, my mind was already on the things I’d have to take care of in order to hide this catastrophe.
Twisting the key, Nila’s voice stopped me. “When—when will I see you again? Are you disappearing?” The sheets rustled as she shifted on the bed.
I refused to turn and look at her. I couldn’t. I didn’t trust myself not to grab her and sink inside her wet, tempting heat again.
“Stop asking questions, Ms. Weaver.”
She sighed angrily. “So, we’re back to Ms. Weaver again? Stop it. Just stop it. Don’t run from me, and call me Nila, for God’s sake.”
Looking over my shoulder, I tried to ignore her flushed skin, her sated sigh, but most of all, I pretended I didn’t see the connection blazing in her eyes. The understanding.
It pissed me off just as much as it made me crave a simpler existence.
“I meant what I said, Ms. Weaver. We’re well and truly fucked. So keep that pretty little mouth closed and forget what happened.”
Opening the door, I added low so she wouldn’t hear, “You’ve destroyed me, Nila. And now it’s my job to make sure they don’t destroy you, too.”
THE MOMENT JETHRO left, I knew I wouldn’t be seeing him again for a while.
Sure enough, a week passed where my life fell into a routine of sketching, reading, and hanging out with Kes and the Black Diamond brothers.
On the seventh day of missing Jethro—of having erotic dreams that made me wake on the echoes of orgasms and of living with a heart tied into so many knots it’d forgotten how to beat properly—I gave up trying to hide my confused sadness and spent the afternoon outside.
The summer had finally given way to autumn, and the air was crisp. The leaves hadn’t started to turn yet, but they bristled in the breeze, just waiting for that certain magic to turn them from green to orange.
My latest sketchbook was almost full, and my fingers were chilly as I put last-minute details onto a matching sable coat that would go with my Rainbow Diamond compilation. Over the past few days, I’d created my favourite collection yet. Turned out, I wasn’t one of the lucky people who thrived on stress to meet deadlines. I preferred lazy afternoons with birds chirping and insects humming in the shrubbery.
A shadow fell across the paper.
Shielding my eyes with my hand covered in pencil smudges, I looked up into the golden eyes of Kestrel.
“Been looking for you.” He smiled. His face was open and scruffy with a five o’clock shadow. He wore blue denim jeans, a black shirt, and a leather jacket.
“I’m hardly hiding.” I spanned my arm, encompassing the pretty lounger, lace umbrella, and side table complete with a carafe of tart cranberry juice and sugar crystals.
“No, you’re not hiding.” His smile fell as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Have I done something to upset you?”
My heart dropped to hear the distress in his voice. “What? No, of course not.”
I waited to see if he would ask why I never messaged him back after his text of wanting to kiss me, but the questions lurking in his eyes suddenly disappeared. “Okay, just checking.”
Ever since telling my father off and hearing the passion in Kite’s latest text, I hadn’t been strong enough to turn my phone on. My past scared me, and I preferred to keep my head in the sand for a little while longer. Not to mention, I’d been distracted with repeating replays of Jethro thrusting between my thighs and an orgasm that seemed to live in my every heartbeat.
Tilting my head, I asked, “Why do you ask?”
Come on. Be honest, so we can get this out in the open once and for all.
Kes cleared his throat. “Well, to be honest, you’ve seemed…distant the past few days. Even when you’re hanging with me in the saloon, your mind is elsewhere.”
Yep, it’s reliving the best sexual experience of my life. With your brother, no less.
It’d taken a miracle for me to walk normally and not show the world that Jethro had bruised me deeply. I hadn’t stopped cramping for hours afterward. But I wouldn’t trade the pain for anything. As much as the discomfort drained me, I wouldn’t change a thing. Every movement—every clench of muscles shot my mind back to the pure bliss I’d found in his arms.
It wasn’t just sex.
I’d repeated that over and over again.
It wasn’t just sex, but I had yet to determine what exactly had happened between us. Debtee and Debtor were no longer relevant.
“Just had a lot on my mind. I’ve been worried about the Second Debt.”
Not entirely a lie, as the days ticked past, I freaked out wondering how and when I’d be summoned to pay the next one.