With all that, I was trying not to let other things penetrate, primarily what I was feeling between my legs with the knowledge of what he was offering me (not to mention, the vision of his chest).
“Trusted me,” he kept at me. “Trusted me completely by taking me and my shit on and believing in me. But you proved how deep that trust ran by trusting me with that sweet little body of yours, letting me give you what you needed, letting me open up a world for you. You gave me that gift. Then you let me give you a sink.”
I blinked.
“And a mirror,” he continued, toeing off his boots.
“I—”
“Not stupid enough to know I’d win every fight, but you taught me I could take care of a woman again. You taught me I could be trusted with her. You taught me I could make her laugh and smile and you gave me back what it feels like, doin’ that for a woman you love.”
I couldn’t reply. All I could do was let the woman you love part sink deep, powerless to fight it at the same time thinking, God, what had his wife done to him?
His hands went to his belt. “Showed me a strong woman doesn’t need keeping, but feels good to take care of her all the same. Better, you gotta fight for that privilege. You taught me a lot of things, Cassidy,” he finished and then pulled down his jeans.
He straightened and he was hard, beautifully thick and hard, and my mouth watered.
My eyes shot from his cock to his when he whispered, “Try me, baby.”
“You want me to tie you to the bed?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I want you to do whatever you wanna do.”
I stared at him.
He’d walked out on me.
Six months, nothing, leaving me to believe he was married and I was an unwitting adulteress, but an adulteress all the same. Took all his magnificence away and made me feel more lonely than I’d ever felt in my life, lonely in a way that feeling knitted to every muscle, every tendon, making it hard to move, go about my days, all the time forced to fight against it just to be able to breathe.
I should tell him I wanted him to walk away and never come back.
I listened to yours. A million fuckin’ times, I listened to it.
He stood there, Deacon, naked and erect in front of me.
Beautiful war.
My voice moved through the room. “I wanna tie you to the bed.”
Without a second’s delay, he turned and climbed on the bed.
My knees got weak.
I watched in shock, amazement, warmth, and excitement as badass Deacon settled on his back and turned his eyes to me.
“Whatever you want, baby,” he said gently.
God, was I going to do this?
I walked to the bed.
I was going to do this.
I stood at the side and pulled the ropes out.
I didn’t know what I was doing. I was too focused on other things to pay attention when he did it to me, but I climbed into bed.
He instantly offered his arm to me.
My insides started expanding.
I took his wrist and tied it to the bed as best I could, tugging at it hard when I got him fixed. The knot didn’t budge.
With no caressing, no kisses, my eyes never even hitting his face, I did the same to his other wrist and his ankles until he was leashed, spread out before me.
Taking him in, his power and beauty tied there for me, I experienced the quiver to end all quivers, but I fought that too.
I moved to my knees at his side and sucked in a breath before I grabbed his cock perfunctorily, heard his grunt, and finally looked to his face.
I bent over him, my hair curtaining us.
“You hurt me,” I whispered.
“I know, Cassie,” he whispered back.
“I can hurt you now,” I told him, tightening my fist on his cock.
He gritted his teeth at my hold but kept my eyes and relaxed his jaw to reply, “You won’t.”
“You’re sure?”
“Love is trust, Cassie, you taught me that.”
My insides expanded more just as my heart started bleeding.
“She didn’t?” I asked quietly.
“She taught me the other way around.”
I stared at him, right in the eyes, and read that as truth.
And the pain of that knowledge was so immense, I shifted and my head dropped down, planting itself in his chest because I couldn’t hold it up.
He loved her.
She broke him.
And then he found me.
He fought it.
He left me because she wouldn’t let him go.
So he found a way to let her go and came back.
I made my decision.
I released him and moved off the bed. I took off my clothes while he watched.
Then I again joined him in bed and commenced giving him what he gave me. All I could reach. Kissing. Licking. Sucking. Nipping. Stroking.
When his body was taut, his noises hungry, I moved between his legs, wrapped my fist around his cock, and took him in my mouth.
He growled.
I sucked, licked, glided, pulling him in and out, giving it everything.
“Fuck, Cassie,” he groaned.
I slid his cock up and out of my mouth and looked up his body.
He had his head lifted so he could watch. His arms spread wide, his biceps bulging, the veins in his forearms popping, his face filled with hunger.
I looked into his eyes.
Try me.
“I want something, you’ll give it to me,” I whispered.
“Yes,” he ground out.
I licked my lips then moved my tongue to the base of his engorged cock, now resting on his stomach. I glided my tongue to the tip.
The bed moved with his buck when I finished and the growl rumbled deep, sounding like it came from his gut.
Yes. I wanted something; he’d give it to me. Tethered to the bed, he was proving that to me.
I put a finger light against his anus.
“I want this.”
“Take it,” he said immediately.
I shook my head, bent and lapped at his cock lightly, once, twice, again, and got another growl.
I fought back the pulse between my legs and looked at him again.
Then I went for it.
“Plugged.”
“You gonna suck me off with me full?” he asked gruffly.
Oh my God.
He didn’t say no.
He didn’t say no.
Try me.
I was trying him.
And he was proving himself to me.
“Not off, but I am gonna suck you,” I answered cautiously.
“Then you ride me.”
“That was my plan.”
“Fill me, Cassie, then get on with it.”
“You’re bossy for a guy tied to a bed,” I noted, doing it flippantly and miraculously, considering I felt the area between my legs become drenched just with the idea of taking his ass.