Not until now.
“I’m going to be honest with you right now,” he said, voice gruff. “I’m hard in my f**king jeans just thinking about what I could do to you.”
Kelly chuckled, his eyes growing darker as they dilated. Nick couldn’t stop looking into them.
“But we’re going to have to be high or drunk or both the first few times we do this, because it’s too f**king weird to kiss you otherwise.”
Kelly nodded. “I agree to those terms.”
“Good. You want to go upstairs and get f**ked?”
Kelly stuffed the blunt back into his pocket and grabbed Nick’s shoulder, using him to push himself off the swing. “Come on.”
Nick began to laugh, moving slowly as Kelly tried to rush him. “How’s your chest?”
“It pulls. But it doesn’t hurt enough to refuse a second helping of last night, so come on.”
Nick stared at him, letting the nerves settle a little more before Kelly pulled him to his feet. He took hold of Kelly’s hips and stopped him before he could turn away, pulling their bodies together. Kelly had to tip his head back to meet Nick’s eyes.
“It’s just sex, right?” Nick whispered.
Kelly narrowed his eyes, then began to grin. “Don’t punk out on me now, O’Flaherty.”
Nick grunted as Kelly pushed away from him. “Those are my terms,” he called after him.
“Come on,” Kelly said, disappearing inside. “Let’s go get stoned and f**k.”
Nick watched him for a moment before shrugging and following. He trailed behind Kelly as he made his way up the stairs. Kelly had been right: he was much steadier without the painkillers. But he also moved slower and more gingerly. Nick was having second thoughts about this by the time he was halfway up the stairs. Kelly was obviously still in pain, and Nick knew exactly what kind of damage he could when he got worked up.
When he reached the head of the stairs, Kelly stood near the end of the bed, waiting with a tentative half smile on his face. “This feels like a prom date or something,” he said.
Nick nodded, glancing around the loft bedroom with another flutter of nerves. “We’ve already altered our relationship with last night,” he said. “We’ll never get that back.”
“I know,” Kelly said softly.
“We can stop here and just go to sleep.”
Kelly narrowed his eyes, a smile flitting across his lips. “You’re going to look for the exit at every turn, aren’t you?”
Nick huffed.
Kelly began to unbutton his shirt. “Well there ain’t no exits on this ride, babe, ’cause I know all your tricks.”
Nick grinned. He watched the slow reveal, something he’d rarely let himself linger over in the past. Kelly had some f**king incredible shoulders and arms, that much was for sure. And the rest of him might as well have been an amusement park, as fun as he was to explore. Nick would have to retrain his way of thinking if they were going to be f**king and he was actually allowed to leer now. He licked his lips, reaching up to pull at the buttons of his soft flannel shirt.
“From now on I’m just going to have to jump you, aren’t I?” Kelly asked with a laugh. “Talking doesn’t work on you, but getting naked does.”
Nick tossed his shirt toward the nearby chair. Kelly let his own shirt drop to the floor.
“From now on?” Nick repeated.
“That’s right.”
“How long are we talking about here?”
“As long as we’re happy?” Kelly suggested. His hands moved to the band of his sweatpants and shoved them down. He was growing hard just standing there with Nick’s eyes on him. “As long as we’re having fun. As long as you’re not panicking because you think you’re in a relationship.”
Nick licked his lips again, blatantly watching as Kelly stepped out of his pants. Kelly spread his arms wide, inviting Nick to look. Inviting him to do a hell of a lot more than look.
“Isn’t that how it’s done?”
Nick shook his head and slowly moved toward Kelly, looking him up and down as he circled him.
“I’m not asking you to buy the milk, O’Flaherty, I just want you to grope the cow,” Kelly said, trying to hide a sly smile by biting his lip.
Nick chuckled and stepped up behind him. He slid his hands over Kelly’s waist, pulling their bodies together. Kelly hummed, and Nick bent to kiss the back of Kelly’s shoulder.
Kelly turned his head, his nose brushing Nick’s hair. “Come on, Lucky. You think I can’t feel how much you want this?”
Nick inhaled sharply, rubbing his hard c**k against Kelly’s ass. One hand gripped Kelly’s hip while the other dragged up his body, avoiding the new scar on his chest and finally coming to rest just under Kelly’s neck. He could feel the rise and fall of Kelly’s increasingly labored breathing.
“I’d give anything to f**k you tonight,” Nick hissed in Kelly’s ear. Before he knew what he was doing, his hand had ventured higher and tightened at Kelly’s throat. His forefinger and thumb rested on the defined edges of Kelly’s jaw.
“Why won’t you?” Kelly gasped. His pulse raced under Nick’s fingertips.
Nick closed his eyes. “I told you once. I’m not going to hurt you.” He kissed Kelly’s shoulder again, then his neck. Kelly groaned, vibrating Nick’s palm. Nick tugged him, turning them around and walking Kelly a few steps until he was facing the wall. He took care to be gentle when he pushed Kelly against it, still holding him by his neck and hip.
Kelly’s hands came up to press against the wall and he blew an unsteady stream of air out. He was trembling.
He put his lips to Kelly’s ear and hummed, the sound low and rumbling. He closed his eyes and thrust his hips against Kelly’s ass again, trying to be calm, trying to be gentle. He could imagine what it would be like to slide inside Kelly and make him writhe and scream, to take him on his knees. His grip tightened on Kelly’s throat as he thought about it.
“Jesus Christ,” Kelly gasped. “I don’t know why I find this so f**king hot, but I do.”
“Okay,” Nick grumbled. “You’re going to have to stop reminding me you’ve never done this before.”
He forced Kelly’s head to the side and strained to be able to kiss him over his shoulder. Kelly growled against his mouth, nipping at his lip and tongue, his body pushing back against Nick’s as he tried to turn. Nick shoved him harder to the wall, tightening his grip. His bare chest pressed against Kelly’s warm back. The denim of his jeans caught at Kelly’s naked skin, his belt buckle digging in. He took his hand from Kelly’s hip and fumbled with his belt and zipper.