Nick licked his lips, leaving his tongue at the corner of his mouth like he always did when he was thinking. Kelly’s eyes were drawn to it briefly before he tore his attention away and focused back on Nick’s eyes.
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Nick finally said.
“How about telling me it’ll pass? Or that it’s just the drugs. Or almost dying. Come on, O’Flaherty, I know you have half a dozen excuses at the ready to use for things like this.”
Nick was silent, chewing on his lip.
Kelly’s smile fell. “Don’t you?”
“I’ve never run into a thing like this,” Nick admitted.
Kelly cocked his head. “You feel it too, don’t you?”
Nick laughed. “Butterflies whenever I think about myself?”
“Don’t play word games with me, smart-ass. The meds haven’t kicked in yet.”
Nick sighed and contemplated his hands. He dragged his thumb over the scar on the back of his hand. “I think it’s unproductive to talk about it until you’ve recovered a little more.” He looked up, forcing a smile to cover the hint of fear Kelly could see in his eyes.
Kelly wanted to push, to get past that smile and see just what Nick was thinking, what he was afraid of. Because the prospects last night had opened up were all parading past Kelly’s mind, and he liked what he saw. He needed Nick to be on the same page with him, though, and Nick obviously wasn’t yet. Kelly knew one thing for certain, and that was that Nick wouldn’t be pushed, he wouldn’t be bullied, and he sure as hell wouldn’t turn that page faster if Kelly tried to do it for him.
So Kelly just nodded. “How about pancakes?”
“With M&M’s?”
“You have some?” Kelly asked, his eyes going wider and his mouth beginning to water.
Nick gave him a sly grin and stood. He patted Kelly’s head as he walked by him, heading for the kitchen.
“Wait a minute,” Kelly grunted, reaching out to grasp Nick’s arm. “That’s all I get the morning after?”
Nick stutter-stepped and backtracked to look down at Kelly. “What? I gave you drugs and I’m fixing your breakfast on a tray, what more do you want?”
Kelly grinned and gave Nick’s arm a little tug. He could see Nick biting his tongue when he smiled, and something about it kicked Kelly’s sex drive into gear. “You’re really going to make me ask for it?”
Nick raised an eyebrow, smiling wider.
Kelly rolled his eyes and sagged his shoulders, tugging Nick again. “Give me a kiss!”
Nick sighed, glancing around the room as he fought a smile. He might have been trying to come up with a reason not to, or he might have been fighting the fact that he wanted to. He finally put a hand on Kelly’s head and bent over him, narrowing his eyes when he peered into Kelly’s. He smiled and pressed his nose and lips against Kelly’s cheek before giving him a gentle kiss, then moved away before Kelly could seek more, leaving Kelly sitting there filled with warmth and nerves.
Kelly smiled, watching Nick’s reflection in the dark television as he moved around in the kitchen, making Kelly’s pancakes. Nick knew he liked pancakes with M&M’s in them. Kelly had married a woman who’d never even known such a simple fact about him, who’d never cared to learn.
He let himself ponder that. Ponder Nick. Every time he’d woken up in the hospital in New Orleans, Nick had been there. Sometimes Ty had been there as well, sitting with him, talking with Nick, or curled up asleep in the chair in the corner. But Nick had been there every time without fail. He’d sat in the chair and read. He’d slept curled up on the couch that was too short for him, or with his head resting on the bed near Kelly’s hand. He’d stolen Kelly’s lunch instead of leaving to go to the cafeteria, and then called to get him more when he woke.
Nick hadn’t left his side, and when the time had come for Kelly to be discharged, Nick hadn’t even discussed coming home with him. He’d simply assumed he would. People searched their entire lives for someone to just care about them. Somehow Kelly had taken that feeling for granted.
Nick returned and set a plate of pancakes down on the table by Kelly’s side. Kelly watched him, still caught up on the idea of someone who would literally lay down his life for him, who had almost done so on several occasions. Kelly had loved Nick for years, just like he loved the rest of the team. Who was to say that couldn’t be more? Where was it written that either of them had to go through life looking for someone who understood them when they had each other right here? Why did that have to be off the table just because Kelly had spent his entire life pursuing women? He felt like a door had been opened last night, a door he’d never known existed.
Nick had a toothpick in his mouth, chewing on it as he laid out Kelly’s breakfast where he could reach it. Kelly plucked the toothpick out. “Dangerous,” he grumbled.
Nick snorted, but as he was turning away, Kelly grabbed his shirtfront and pulled him closer. Nick almost stumbled over the side table, and he had to put both hands on the arms of Kelly’s chair to keep himself from pitching forward into Kelly’s lap. His eyes were wide.
“How long do I have to recover, exactly?” Kelly demanded.
“What?”
“How long are you going to fumble around before you’ll sit back down and talk to me?”
Nick blinked a few times, his eyes seeming to turn greener as Kelly watched. Kelly smiled, growing warmer. He tightened his grip on Nick’s shirtfront so the man couldn’t escape.
“Look, I love you,” Kelly told him. “You love me. We’ve bled for each other. Why can’t that turn into more?”
“Kels . . .”
“Stop. Before you argue with me, just think about it objectively without adding in who we are.”
“Who we are is kind of a big deal.”
Kelly let him go and took a deep breath. “Sit down, I want to talk about this.”
Nick didn’t sit. Instead he leaned closer, close enough that Kelly’s heart stuttered and he closed his eyes. He could feel Nick’s breath on his lips, feel the scratch of stubble against his chin. “Your pancakes are getting cold,” Nick whispered before pulling back.
Kelly’s eyes drifted open to stare at the plate of perfect golden pancakes with melting M&M’s made into smiley face patterns. He laughed and met Nick’s eyes again. Nick was grinning. He hesitated briefly before he pressed another gentle kiss to Kelly’s lips. This time he extended it, turning it a little less chaste and adding a little more tongue and teeth.