"Nick, that's okay. You did take me to the dance."
"Yeah, after you came back and asked again. That took guts. And after I took you we went to Number Thirteen and you got hurt." The corner of Nick's mouth turned down. "I couldn't do anything about that. It was Conant who saved you."
A memory of the smoky thing at the Halloween ceremony, the dark form that had risen out of the Samhain fire, flickered through Cassie's mind. She shoved it away, feeling panic rise in her chest. She didn't want to think about Black John now - frightening though he had been as a smoky figure, he was more frightening by far as a man. His eyes . . .
"Cassie." Nick's strong fingers were wrapped around her wrist. "It's okay. You're okay."
Cassie gulped a deep breath and nodded, her awareness returning to the dim room. "Thanks," she whispered. It felt good to have Nick's hand on her arm: warm fingers, firm grip. It steadied her. And, God, she'd needed somebody to hang on to, for so long . . . She remembered sitting in Adam's car, aching with the need to hold him, to be held. And knowing that she couldn't, that she never could. Cassie had that same ache now, and Adam was completely lost to her. How long did she have to live with the empty feeling?
"I know," Nick was saying in a low voice, "that you're not in love with me. I know I'm not him. But, Cassie, I like you. I like you a lot, more than any girl I've ever seen. You're so decent to people, you're not hard, but inside you're tough as Deb. Tough as me, maybe." He laughed shortly. "You haven't kept a grudge against anybody in the Club, no matter how they treated you in the beginning. Deb was really surprised about that. And in the end you've made them all respect you. The Henderson brothers never fell for a girl before, but they don't know if they're on their heads or their feet anymore. I think they're going to make you a pipe bomb for Christmas."
Cassie couldn't help laughing with him. "Well, I guess that's one way to get rid of the problem."
"Even Faye respects you," Nick said. "She wouldn't have tried so hard to destroy you otherwise. Look, Cassie, I can't explain what it is about you - you're good but you're tough. You can take it. And you've got the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen."
Cassie felt the blood rising to her face. She could feel his eyes on her, and she was the one forced to study the wallpaper. The hot, strange feeling inside her was stronger every minute.
She was thinking about that first week of school, when Deborah and the Henderson brothers had been teasing her, playing keep-away with her backpack - and suddenly a brown arm had reached into her field of vision, catching the backpack, saving her. Nick. And about how nice he'd been in the boiler room when she'd found Jeffrey's body, how he'd held her and said, "Steady, steady." His arms had been solid and comforting then. Nick wasn't intimidated by anything. She liked Nick.
But liking wasn't enough.
Cassie found herself shaking her head. "Nick - I'm so sorry. I can't lead you on ..."
"I said I knew you weren't in love with me. But if you just want to give it a try - I'll be there when you need somebody. We could have some fun," he added, as lightly as she'd ever heard Nick speak. "Get to know each other."
Cassie thought about how annoyed she'd been a while ago that Adam wasn't here at Diana's. She didn't have the right to demand Adam like that - and it was dangerous. I'll be there when you need somebody. How could Nick know how important that was to her?
She looked up at him, and in a voice she herself could barely hear, she said, "Okay."
The mahogany eyes widened slightly in surprise - which by Nick's normally expressionless standards translated into astonishment. A wondering smile curved his lips a little. He looked so happy that Cassie felt herself drawn into it. Why could she never resist smiling back at him?
"I didn't think you'd go for it," he said, still wonderingly.
Cassie laughed, but blushed harder. "So why did you ask?"
"I figured it was worth asking, even if you told me to get lost."
"Nick." Cassie felt something strange. "I wouldn't ever tell you to get lost. You're - well, you're really special." She didn't know how to say what she meant, and the words caught in her throat anyway. Her vision was blurring, swimming. She blinked to clear it and felt tears spill. And then Nick moved toward her and somehow she was in his arms, crying on his shoulder. Nothing had ever been so comforting as that gray-wool-clad shoulder.
She sniffled and she could feel him leaning his cheek against her hair. "Let's just give it a try for a while," he said softly. And Cassie nodded and let herself rest in his arms.
It was dark when she let Nick out the front door. Diana was upstairs; Chris and Doug had left a long time ago. Cassie felt uncertain and shy as she tapped on Diana's door.
"Come in," Diana said, and Cassie did, remembering the first time she'd tapped on this door and come into this room, the day Diana had rescued her from Faye in the science building. Then, Diana had been sitting at the window seat, surrounded by a whirling crowd of rainbows. Now Diana was sitting at the desk with a pile of papers in front of her.
"So what happened?" she said, turning around.
Cassie could feel the heat in her cheeks. "I - we - we decided that we would give it a try. Being - well, sort of being together, I mean."
Diana's lips parted. She looked into Cassie's eyes, as if searching for something there. "You what?" she said, and then she caught herself. She looked at Cassie for another long moment. "I see," she said slowly.
"You're not mad?" Cassie was trying to figure out what was going on behind those emerald-green eyes.