Cassie was shaking her head, blind, nauseated. "The other old women - they must have known too! God, everybody who knew him must have known. And nobody told me. Why didn't they tell me?"
"Oh, stop sniveling, Cassie. I'm sure they didn't tell you because they were afraid of how you'd react. And I must say it looks as if they were right. You're falling apart."
Great-aunt Constance, Cassie was thinking. She must have known. How could she stand to look at me? How can she stand to have my mother in her house?
And Mrs. Franklin had been going to tell her, she realized suddenly. Yes. That had been what that last-minute scene in Aunt Constance's parlor had been all about. Adam's grandmother had been about to tell, about to say something to Cassie about her father. Granny Quincey and Aunt Constance had stopped her. They were all in a conspiracy of silence, to keep the truth from Cassie.
Probably not the parents, Cassie thought slowly, feeling very tired. They probably didn't remember anyway. They'd made themselves forget everything. But Aunt Constance had warned the Circle against stirring up those old memories, and her gaze had settled on Cassie when she did it.
"Just think about it, Cassie," Faye was saying, and that husky voice sounded reasonable now, not gloating or triumphant. "He only wants the best for you; he always has. You were born as part of his plans. I know you and I have had our problems in the past, but John wants us to get along. Won't you just give it a try? Won't you, Cassie?"
Slowly, painfully, Cassie made her eyes focus. Faye was kneeling in front of her. Faye's beautiful, sensual face seemed lit softly from within. She really means it, Cassie thought. She's sincere. Maybe she's in love with him.
And maybe, Cassie mused dizzily, I should think about it. So many things have changed since I came to New Salem - I'm not at all the person I used to be. The old, shy Cassie who never had a boyfriend and never had anything to say is gone. Maybe this is just another change, another stage of life. Maybe I'm at the crossroads.
She looked at Faye for a long moment, searching the depths of those amber eyes. Then, slowly, she shook her head.
No.
Even as she thought it, chill white determination flooded her. That was one road she would never take, no matter what happened. She would never become what Black John - what her father - wanted.
Without a word, without looking back, Cassie got up and walked away from Faye.
Outside, the melee was still going on. Cassie scanned the front entrance of the school and saw the weak November sun shining on a cascade of fair hair. She headed for it.
"Diana. . ."
"Cassie, thank God! When Nick told us you were alone in his office . . ." Diana's eyes widened. "Cassie, what's wrong?"
"I have to tell you something. At home. Can we go home now?" Cassie was holding on to Diana's hand.
Diana stared at her for another moment, then shook herself. "Yes. Of course. But Nick will be looking for you. He had the idea that we should start a fight on the first floor as a diversion; just grab a bunch of people and start swinging. All the guys did it, and Deborah and Laurel. They're all looking for you."
Cassie couldn't face any of them, especially Nick. Once he knew what she really was - what he'd held in his arms, what he'd kissed ...
"Please, can't you just tell them I'm okay, but I need to go home?" Suzan was standing nearby; Cassie nodded at her. "Can't Suzan just tell them?"
"Yes. All right. Suzan, tell everybody I've taken Cassie home. They can stop the fight now." Diana led Cassie down the hill to the parking lot. They had barely reached Diana's car, though, when Adam appeared, running.
"The fight's breaking up - and I'm coming with you," he said. Cassie wanted to argue, but she didn't have the strength. Besides, Diana might need Adam there when Cassie told her the whole story.
Cassie nodded at Adam and he got in the car without further discussion. They drove to Diana's house and went up to Diana's room.
"Now tell us what happened before I have a heart attack," Diana said.
But it wasn't that easy. Cassie went over to the bay window, where sunlight was striking the prisms hanging there so that wedges of rainbow light bobbed and slid over the walls. She turned to look at the black and white prints on either side of the window; Diana's collection of Greek goddesses. There was proud Hera, queenly with her mane of pitch-black hair and her hooded, untamed eyes; there was Aphrodite, goddess of beauty, with her soft bosom exposed; there was fierce Artemis, the virgin huntress afraid of nothing. And here, on the other side, was Athena, the gray-eyed goddess of wisdom, and Persephone, fresh-faced and elfin and surrounded by blooming flowers. Last of all, in color, was the print of a goddess older than the Greek civilization, the great goddess Diana, who ruled the moon and stars and night. Diana, Queen of Witches.
"Cassie!"
"Sorry," Cassie whispered, and slowly turned to face her Diana. Who just now looked sick with suspense.
"I'm sorry," she said, more loudly. "I just don't know how to say this, I guess. But I know now why I was born so much later than all of you . . . or, actually, no, I don't." She pondered that a moment. "Not why I was so late. Unless he knew by then the coven was going to try to throw him out, so he thought he'd better have a back-up . . ." Cassie thought it over and shook her head. Adam and Diana were staring at her as if she'd gone crazy. "I guess I don't know everything. But I'm not half outsider, like we thought. That isn't why he's been after me; it's a completely different reason. We thought Kori and I spoiled his plans somehow . . . oh, God." Cassie stopped, feeling a pain like jagged glass shoot through her. Her eyes filled. "I think - God, it must be. I know why Kori died. Because of me. If she hadn't died, she would have joined the coven instead of me, and he didn't want that. She was the one he hadn't planned on. So he had to get rid of her." Another spasm of pain almost doubled Cassie over. She was afraid she might be sick.