She felt light-headed. Something about the incense ... or the crystals, she thought. The music seemed to be pulsing inside her. She should be embarrassed by what was going on in this room-she was embarrassed-but there was something exciting about it too.
Some of the candles had gone out, making it darker.
The warmth around Cassie's shoulders was nice. She thought of yesterday night, when she'd wanted so much for someone to comfort her, to hold her. To make her feel not alone.
"I don't know why, but I really like you," the brown-eyed boy was saying. "I never felt like this before."
Why not do it? She was already-bad. And she wanted to be close to somebody. , . .
The brown-eyed boy leaned in to kiss her.
That was when Cassie knew it was wrong. Not the way kissing Adam was wrong, but wrong for her. She didn't want to kiss him. Every individual cell in her body was protesting, panicking. She wiggled out from under him like an eel and jumped up.
Faye and the blond guy were also on their feet, heading out of the room. So were Suzan and her unmatched pair.
"We're just going upstairs," Faye said in her husky voice. "There's more room up there. Lots of rooms, in fact."
"No," Cassie said.
A hint of a frown creased Faye's forehead, then she smiled and went over to Cassie, speaking in low tones. "Cassie, I'm disappointed in you," she said. "After your performance at the dance, I really thought you were one of us. And it's not nearly as wicked as some other things you've done. You can do anything you want with these guys, and they'll like it."
"No," Cassie said again. "You told me to come over and I did. But I don't want to stay." Her eyes were smarting and she had trouble keeping her voice steady.
Faye looked exasperated. "Oh, all right. If you don't want to have fun, I can't make you. Go."
Relief washed over Cassie. With one glance back at the brown-eyed boy, she hurried to the door. After last night's dream, she'd been so frightened... she hadn't been sure what Faye would do to her. But she was getting away.
Faye's voice caught her at the door, and she waited until she had Cassie's full attention before speaking.
"Maybe next time," she said.
Cassie's entire skin was tingling as she hurried away from Faye's house. She just wanted to get home, to be safe....
"Hey, wait a minute," Deborah called after her.
Reluctantly, Cassie turned and waited. She was braced as if for a blow.
Deborah came up quickly, her step light and controlled as always. Her dark hair was tumbling in waves around her small face and falling into her eyes. Her chin was slightly out-thrust as usual, but her expression wasn't hostile.
"I'm leaving too. You want a ride?" she said.
Instantly memories of the last "ride" she'd accepted flashed through Cassie's mind. But she didn't exactly like to refuse Deborah. After Faye's parting words, Cassie was feeling small and soft and vulnerable-like something that could be easily squashed. And besides... well, it wasn't often Deborah made a gesture like this.
"Okay, thanks," Cassie said after only a moment's hesitation. She didn't ask if they should be wearing helmets. She didn't think Deborah would appreciate the question.
Cassie had never been on a motorcycle before. It seemed bigger when she was trying to get on it than it had looked just standing there. Once she was on, though, it felt surprisingly stable. She wasn't afraid of falling off.
"Hang on to me," Deborah said. And then, with an incredibly loud noise, they were moving.
It was the most exhilarating feeling-flying through the air. Like witches on broomsticks, Cassie thought. Wind roared in Cassie's face, whipped her hair back. It whipped Deborah's hair into Cassie's eyes so she couldn't see.
As Deborah accelerated, it became terrifying. Cassie was sure she'd never gone this fast before. The wind felt icy cold. They were racing forward into darkness, far too fast for safety on a rural road. The houses on Crowhaven were far behind. Cassie couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. Everything was the wind and the road and the feeling of speed.
I'm going to die, Cassie thought. She almost didn't care. Something this electrifying was worth dying for. She was sure Deborah couldn't take this next corner.
"Relax!" Deborah shouted, her voice snatched away by the wind. "Relax! Don't fight the way I'm leaning."
How can you relax when you're plunging at practically a hundred miles an hour into darkness? Cassie thought. But then she found out how: you give yourself up to it. Cassie resigned herself to her fate, and let the speed and the wind take her. And, magically, everything was all right.
She was aware, eventually, that they were heading back up Crowhaven Road, past Diana's house, past the others. They overshot Cassie's house and stormed around the vacant lot at the point of the headland.
Dust sprayed up on either side. Cassie saw the cliff whip by and buried her head in Deborah's shoulder. Then they were leaning, they were slowing, they were spiraling to a stop.
"So," said Deborah, when the world was still again, "what'd you think?"
Cassie lifted her head and made her fingers stop clutching. Every inch of her was as icy as if she'd been standing in a freezer. Her hair was matted and her lips and ears and nose were numb. .
"It was wonderful," she gasped. "Like flying."
Deborah burst into laughter, jumped off, and slapped Cassie on the back. Then she helped Cassie off. Cassie couldn't stop shivering.
"Look over here," Deborah said, stepping over to the edge of the cliff.
Cassie looked. Far below, the dark water crashed and foamed around the rocks. It was a long way down.