Home hadn’t even been home since he left.
“Are you breathing?” my sister asked, her voice floating from somewhere behind me. “Jasmine?”
Consumed with not hurling all over the place, I wasn’t sure if I was breathing or not. I stared at my reflection in the vanity. Light blue eyes stared back at me, set in a face way too pale against the darkness of my hair. Even my lips looked leeched of blood. My cheekbones appeared too sharp, too angular.
The last hour had blurred. Somehow, the entire clan knew that Dez was back and they’d swooped in on me within a nanosecond of my entering the house. I’d been shoved into a shower, because apparently, I needed one. Danika had dried my hair, letting it fall loose in long waves down my back because I was beyond the ability to do it myself. Then Claudia, who either didn’t know I’d sneaked out or had chosen to ignore it in light of what was happening, had brought in a blue gown that I’d never seen before. It was tight around my chest and I knew if I bent too low, my br**sts would be coming out and saying hello.
It was tradition to look your best when a male claimed you. The whole ritual was barbaric, absolutely wrong on so many levels. Part of me understood the necessity of having to mate and produce some babies. Our kind was dying off and what the Wardens did was a necessity to maintain the balance of good and evil and blah, blah. The other part wondered why in the world I would sign up for something that would most likely result in my death at some point.
We were given seven days after the male made his claim to say yes or no, to ensure that both parties understood that mating was a lifelong commitment. There was no such thing as divorcing or separating among our kind. We weren’t forced to say yes, and the male, even if he was embarrassed before the whole clan, had to accept our refusal. We could keep saying no until we wanted to say yes and there were female Wardens who did say no, like Claudia. She hadn’t yet found a male she wanted, but...
But my father had announced his intentions of mating Dez and me three years ago. The night before Dez had disappeared.
I dragged in a gulp of air, but the dress was cinched too tight, constricting my waist. “He came back,” I whispered, not sure why I felt the need to say that. Maybe because it didn’t feel real.
Danika’s reflection appeared above my shoulder. We shared the same features, except she was a younger version of me. “He did.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to ten. “Have you seen him?”
“No.”
Why had I even asked that question? I didn’t care.
Danika placed a hand on my shoulder. “Everyone is waiting downstairs. The whole clan.”
The whole clan could go jump off Algonquin Peak.
Opening my eyes, I didn’t see my reflection or my sister’s. Images of Dez and me flashed together in a walk down memory lane that I didn’t want to take, but once I saw him in my mind, I couldn’t stop them.
Dez, short for a name I couldn’t even begin to pronounce, had been a member of a West Coast clan and should’ve never crossed paths with mine. But when he was ten years old, his entire clan had been wiped out in a brutal demon attack. He’d ended up in New York due to the ties that his mother had had with our clan. The first night he had been brought to our home, he had been angry and withdrawn, almost like a wild animal who’d been cornered. He’d been in his true skin, hissing and clawing at anyone who’d come close to him. When my father hadn’t been looking, I had offered him the pudding I had been served for dinner.
Dez hadn’t wanted anything to do with me at first. Crouched in the back of the library, he’d swiped at me with his clawed hands, coming close to splitting the skin on my arm. Fear had shivered its way down my spine, but I’d felt too much sympathy and concern for him to tuck horn and run away. Instead, I’d cautiously sat a safe distance away and begun to talk about anything and everything I could think of. It had taken hours of me rambling about my dolls, my assignments and my favorite books before he took the pudding from me. Afterward he’d asked for more and I’d managed to get him into the kitchen. I’d stayed up the whole night with him, while he ate everything the cook put in front of him and I watched him, oddly drawn to the unfamiliar, quiet little boy.
And from that night on, we were inseparable—at least for the next eight years.
Everywhere he went, I followed, and vice versa. He had been with me the first time I flew high above the mountains, and I had been with him the first time he had finally broken down and mourned the loss of his clan—his entire family. When I had snagged my wing for the first time and cried like a fat, angry baby, it had been Dez who’d guided me back to safety and taken care of me. I watched him learn to drive when he turned sixteen, and when I turned fifteen he said we’d always be together, no matter what.
Now I was eighteen, and he would be twenty-one, and he’d broken that promise in the most heartless way.
“You can’t stay up here all night,” Danika reasoned calmly. “He’s waiting for you.”
I turned quickly, causing her to jump back. “I don’t care.”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I don’t.”
“But you love him.”
A soulful pang hit me in the chest. “Loved,” I whispered back.
That much had been true. I had loved him since the moment he’d taken the pudding from me. When my father had announced on Dez’s eighteenth birthday that he supported a match between us, I’d never been happier than I was in that moment. I was young. And stupid. When Dez had disappeared the very next day, I experienced a heartache that I thought would swallow me whole and never spit me out. He’d been more than a crush. He had been my best friend, my confidant and my world.
Danika tucked long strands of hair behind her ears as she leaned against my bed. “Will you tell him no then, when your seven days are up?”
I stood, surprised my legs would hold me, and took a step forward. The dress swished around my legs in a way that made me yearn for my jeans. “I can’t forgive him.” My hands balled into fists. “And for him to just show up? Announce that he wants me after what he did? Screw him!”
Danika arched a brow. “You haven’t talked to him yet. You don’t know why he left.”
My eyes narrowed on her. “Like that matters? Whose side are you on anyway?”
“Yours. Come on. Let’s get this over with then.” Pushing away from the bed, she herded me out of the room and into the long hall. “This is going to be so awkward. Glad it’s not me.”
“Thanks,” I muttered. My heart was pounding like a big drum.
“You look beautiful,” Danika said, giving me a not-so-gentle push toward the stairwell.
Did I have time to run outside and shove my face in mud? The last thing I wanted was to look special for Dez. Nervousness caused my breath to catch as I gripped the banister. Or maybe it was the dress? I couldn’t breathe either way.
Voices from the first floor floated up to us, and I strained to pick out who they belonged to as I made my way down the stairs. Blood roared in my ears, and my mouth dried as I reached the second-floor landing. I started to lean over, to take a peek, but Danika caught my arm and all but dragged me down the remaining stairs.
I couldn’t even remember the last time the entire clan had gathered in one room together, especially at this time of the evening, when most would be preparing to leave for the nightly hunts. The crowd was enormous to me in that moment. The males tall and broad, dressed in dark leather pants. A few females were among them, trying to wrangle the children. One of them, a little boy no more than three, rushed across the atrium. Under the sky dome, he phased out of his human form. Halfway. Horns sprouted among his blond curls. Gray wings grew from his back, thin and uneven. One arched into the air and the other drooped to the side. He giggled as a large male stepped out and swooped him up into his arms.
Danika elbowed me forward.
I tripped, sending her a dark look.
“There she is.” My father’s voice was like a clap of thunder, heavy with pride, and I felt as if I was trussed up for the auctioning block.
An older Warden with gray hair and a heavily lined face grumbled, “It’s about time, Garrick. None of us are getting any younger.”
Hands fisting once more, I kept my eyes trained on my father as I forced my legs to keep moving. The crowd parted as I walked in a numb daze. I couldn’t look at any of the faces I passed. My stomach twisted and ached.
My dad said something and he was still smiling, but I couldn’t follow the conversation. Every muscle in my body locked up as he stepped aside. Against my will, my gaze moved to the spot he’d stood in.
And there he was.
My heart skipped a beat and then sped up.
Dez stood before me, taller and broader than I remembered. He was the same in so many ways, but so much had changed. His hair was a deep auburn and when he’d been younger, it had been cropped short on the sides, the middle a spiky Mohawk. Not anymore. Now his hair fell in soft waves, barely brushing his shoulders. His eyes were the same—pale blue framed by heavy, thick lashes. The lack of the Mohawk wasn’t the only change. The rest of him? Nothing of the young man who’d left three years ago remained in the face that was both a stranger’s and familiar.
The round boyishness of his face had been smoothed away in the last three years and replaced with hard lines. His jaw was cut, cheekbones broad and high. There was a slight hook in his nose, as if it had been broken and not set correctly. His brows formed graceful arches over his eyes and his lips appeared fuller than before. A traitorous thought seeped in: Were his lips as firm as they looked? Those lips weren’t pulled into a smile, and Dez had always smiled for me. They were parted now, and as I dragged my gaze to his, I realized he wasn’t the boy I’d fallen in love with.
Dez stared back at me, pupils slightly dilated and starting to stretch vertically. Shock splashed over his striking face, and I couldn’t understand why he was so surprised. I hadn’t changed in the three years he’d been gone. Well, I wasn’t as naive as I’d been then and my br**sts were most definitely bigger. So were my hips.
His gaze dipped for a fraction of a second, and my eyes narrowed. Irritation pricked at my skin. Was he seriously standing here checking me out? But my annoyance warred with a sense of heightened awareness that I was unfamiliar with. Warmth flooded my veins as his gaze met mine. Electricity sparked in the air between us as our stares locked.
Dez moved so quickly that I didn’t even have a chance to prepare myself. One second he was a foot from me, and the next, his hand cupped the back of my head, his fingers threading through my hair.
My heart leaped into my throat when I realized what he was going to do. I opened my mouth to protest, but it was too late.
Dez kissed me.
Chapter Three
Astonishment poured into me, shorting out my senses. Part of me was too taken aback to do anything but stand there. My fist burned to connect with his jaw. How dare he kiss me after all of this? Without even saying hello, for crying out loud? But the feather-light brush of his lips stunned me.