"So... um... what do we do now?" Jacob asked.
"I'm not sure," Bella said.
"But you're planning on meeting this Edward guy for real, aren't you," Jacob said.
"Of course," Bella looked at him suspiciously. He had promised at one time that he wouldn't let that happen. She hoped he had changed his mind because there was no way she would allow that.
"And how do you plan on meeting him at first?" Jacob questioned.
"Um..." Bella said, she didn't think of that but he was right... the first meeting really was something that she had to think about... Edward was, after all going to be deathly attracted to her. "I suppose we'll just have to think of something."
13. Knowledge
I weaved my way down my driveway while imagining all the ways I could bring myself closer to Bella. Just to lightly touch her hair, to hold her close to me like I did so carelessly after the accident, or to bring her warm lips to mine...I trailed off in thought as the fantasy went visual.
Enough, I ordered, though I was aching to feel the warmth of her rich skin. Enough.
When I reached the end of the drive I knew what to expect, though, the insults that continued at maximum capacity fissured my nerves.
Idiot! Jackass! Lunatic! I really hope you are happy! If I have to move again..., Rosalie was seething belligerence. The vivid image she thrust on my mind was my Vanquish being catastrophically driven off a ravine.
I sighed and shook my head trying to dispel her thoughts, but after living with her for this long I'd learned to hum a tune or ignore her internal muttering, even when she was screaming at the top of her mental lungs and making the visual pictures more devastating.
After watching all of the possible ways she would crash my car over and over in her head I realized that it didn't matter.
It was Bella who was ultimately significant now. Her silent thoughts - how warm and trusting she is.
Ah, I thought gleefully. My mental distraction worked perfectly.
I sat in the car, my fingers still wrapped tightly on the steering wheel as I thought about going back. I inhaled deeply at her scent that was still lingering in the car. White hot knives cut down my throat, but I embraced it, content that I was satiated for the moment.
A thought disrupted my internal blitheness.
Boy, do you have some explaining to do.
"Emmett," I muttered, though I was grateful he had forgiven me of my actions so quickly. His low chuckle came from inside the house as he over took Jasper's knight in a game of chess.
I had to deal with this now. I couldn't go see her until my family was resolved, though, honestly, I should never go back. Her life would be the better for it - she would have a life to live.
Carlisle's car was parked next to Rosalie's M3. I sighed in relief. If he was here, then maybe Rosalie would be on her best behavior.
More thoughts filled my mind bringing me back to the present. It was time to confront my family about the secrets that Bella logically pieced together.
I finally persuaded myself into going inside to speak with Carlisle.
Alice's thoughts interrupted my anxiety filled mind.
I hope you've reconsidered your plans for the weekend. I love her, too. Her internal cry was a lament.
I twitched slightly under the impact of the earlier vision. I tried to expunge her thoughts from my mind as my stomach began to twist in pain.
Absurd - it was a lie, impossible. I would never hurt Bella...would I? Bella...in my arms...cold, white, dead... The thoughts were inconceivable. Alice was blind or confused somehow, the vision insurmountable.
The pain swiftly took me under - it felt like my body was burning from the inside out, almost as if the pain of her death would literally make me combust. I gave Alice a grave look.
"You're wrong." My tone was hollow.
Please, Edward! Alice begged.
I could feel every degree of love she had for her. She doesn't even know her - her love was nonexistent compared to mine.
I sighed.
But doesn't everyone have that reaction to her? Hadn't I? Didn't I risk everything just to save her life so I could observe her; watch her sleep at night?
My need to speak with Carlisle was growing at an immense rate. He would have answers. He always knew what to do.
I marched past Alice where she was sitting on the stairs, her face rested on her hands, her lower lip jutting out slightly from her upper. I ignored her pouting, knowing it was because of her vision that was bringing her into this trepidation. And her vision was wrong.
I clenched my teeth together as I spoke, making my words almost incoherent "I'm strong."
I'm brave enough, I tried to convince myself.
"I won't hurt her, Alice. Your vision is impossible!"
I'm begging you, she continued to plead.
Her anguish was beginning to weigh on me. I shoved her mental insight from me viciously. How could I possibly bring death to her?
I wanted - no - I needed Bella. The necessity to hold her, my hunger...my thirst for her was exponentially growing at a sizable intensity. But, it wasn't my thirst that I was craving the most; I desired for her, longed for the face, the voice, that accompanied the fragrance.
I moved swiftly up the stairs so quick, in fact, a normal human wouldn't have seen me.
Slowly opening the door to my potential sentencing I entered Carlisle's office. His face was so close to the book he was reading that his nose was nearly touching the pages.
Association between PPI's and spontaneous bacterial peritonitis...His eyes moved up the page until they left the book flowing upward towards my face which was perfectly mirrored in his eyes. Guilt was resolutely displayed across my face.
I looked away.
Esme, joyfully flitting around the room, was re-organizing the bookshelves in effort to make room for new books Carlisle had just purchased. She caught my glance when I entered the room.