So serious all the time. What's bugging you now?
"Thinking about her. Well, worrying, really."
"What's there to worry about? You are here." He laughed loudly.
I ignored his joke again, but answered his question. "Have you ever thought about how fragile they all are? How many bad things there are that can happen to a mortal?"
"Not really. I guess I see what you mean, though. I wasn't much match for a bear that first time around, was I?"
"Bears," I muttered, adding a new fear to the pile. "That would be just her luck, wouldn't it? Stray bear in town. Of course it would head straight for Bella."
Emmett chuckled. "You sound like a crazy person, do you know that?" "Just imagine for one minute that Rosalie was human, Emmett. And she could run into a bear...or get hit by a car...or lightening...or fall down stairs...or get sick - get a disease!" The words burst from me stormily. It was a relief to let them out - they'd been festering inside me all weekend. "Fires and earthquakes and tornados! Ugh!
When's the last time you watched the news? Have you seen the kinds of things that happen to them? Burglaries and homicides..." My teeth clenched together, and I was abruptly so infuriated by the idea of another human hurting her that I couldn't breathe. "Whoa, whoa! Hold up, there, kid. She lives in Forks, remember? So she gets rained on." He shrugged.
"I think she has some serious bad luck, Emmett, I really do. Look at the evidence. Of all the places in the world she could go, she ends up in a town where vampires make up a significant portion of the population."
"Yeah, but we're vegetarians. So isn't that good luck, not bad?"
"With the way she smells? Definitely bad. And then, more bad luck, the way she smells to me." I glowered at my hands, hating them again.
"Except that you have more self-control than just about anyone but Carlisle. Good luck again."
"The van?"
"That was just an accident."
"You should have seen it coming for her, Em, again and again. I swear, it was like she had some kind of magnetic pull."
"But you were there. That was good luck."
"Was it? Isn't this the worst luck any human could ever possibly have - to have a vampire fall in love with them?"
Emmett considered that quietly for a moment. He pictured the girl in his head, and found the image uninteresting. Honestly, I can't really see the draw.
"Well, I can't really see Rosalie's allure, either," I said rudely. "Honestly, she seems like more work than any pretty face is worth."
Emmett chuckled. "I don't suppose you'd tell me..."
"I don't know what her problem is, Emmett," I lied with a sudden, wide grin. I saw his intent in time to brace myself. He tried to shove me off the rock, and there was a loud cracking sound as a fissure opened in the stone between us. "Cheater," he muttered.
I waited for him to try another time, but his thoughts took a different direction. He was picturing Bella's face again, but imagining it whiter, imagining her eyes bright red...
"No," I said, my voice strangled.
"It solves your worries about mortality, doesn't it? And then you wouldn't want to kill her, either. Isn't that the best way?"
"For me? Or for her?"
"For you," he answered easily. His tone added the of course.
I laughed humorlessly. "Wrong answer."
"I didn't mind so much," he reminded me.
"Rosalie did."
He sighed. We both knew that Rosalie would do anything, give up anything, if it meant she could be human again. Even Emmett.
"Yeah, Rose did," he acquiesced quietly.
"I can't... I shouldn't... I'm not going to ruin Bella's life. Wouldn't you feel the same, if it were Rosalie?"
Emmett thought about that for a moment. You really...love her?
"I can't even describe it, Emmett. All of a sudden, this girl's the whole world to me. I don't see the point of the rest of the world without her anymore."
But you won't change her? She won't last forever, Edward.
"I know that," I groaned.
And, as you've pointed out, she's sort of breakable.
"Trust me - that I know, too."
Emmett was not a tactful person, and delicate discussions were not his forte. He struggled now, wanting very much not to be offensive.
Can you even touch her? I mean, if you love her...wouldn't you want to, well touch her...?
Emmett and Rosalie shared an intensely physical love. He had a hard time understanding how one could love, without that aspect.
I sighed. "I can't even think of that, Emmett."
Wow. So what are your options, then?
"I don't know," I whispered. "I'm trying to figure out a way to...to leave her. I just can't fathom how to make myself stay away..."
With a deep sense of gratification, I suddenly realized that it was right for me to stay - at least for now, with Peter and Charlotte on their way. She was safer with me here, temporarily, than she would be if I were gone. For the moment, I could be her unlikely protector.
The thought made me anxious; I itched to be back so that I could fill that role for as long as possible.
Emmett noticed the change in my expression. What are you thinking about?
"Right now," I admitted a bit sheepishly, "I'm dying to run back to Forks and check on her. I don't know if I'll make it till Sunday night."
"Uh-uh! You are not going home early. Let Rosalie cool down a little bit.
Please! For my sake."
"I'll try to stay," I said doubtfully.
Emmett tapped the phone in my pocket. "Alice would call if there were any basis for your panic attack. She's as weird about this girl as you are."