"Yes, I do, Sir," I say. Lord Grenville looks away, seemingly more distressed than I. Not true, but I can act a part.
"Madame Petrova has been given the choreography of the dances the troupe performs, so that you will know them when you get there. Do not worry. She has said you are up to the task. After all, as she so derisively sniffed, it is not exactly the Paris Opera."
Again I nod and lower my head. Shame blushes my cheeks.
"Please, dear," says Sir Grenville, "perhaps it won't be so bad."
Mr. Peel leans back in his chair and says, "You might find this bit of information interesting: We have learned that the story of your death under the guillotine has spread throughout the fleet..."
Spread by you, no doubt.
"...and it is reported that men are lining up at tattoo parlors to have a certain design put on their flesh: It is of a kitten, a plainly female kitten, wearing boots and hat, sword in hand, with the word Vengeance underneath. What do you think of that?"
"Almost makes me wish I did perish," I say. "For the sake of the Fleet's fighting spirit."
"Well said, even if it is a lie," says Mr. Peel. "We know your instinct for self-preservation to be quite strong, and we will all be counting on that when your mission begins, which will be very soon."
At that I put down my fork. "Soon, Sir? But..."
"The prisoner exchange has been effected. Your Mr. Fletcher still lives and will arrive in London within days. You will see him, so then our part of that particular bargain will have been kept. You will leave on your mission at dawn of the following day."
My sleep that night was ruined.
Chapter 20
I got the call two days later, in the early afternoon, at Madame Petrova's. I had been doing exercises at the barre, which I have come, against all odds, to enjoy. I had placed my left foot about three feet from the base of the wall and hooked the heel of my right foot on the barre itself, which is slightly below my shoulder height. I'd begun bobbing my upper body toward my outstretched leg, getting closer with each bob. The muscles of my legs and back flexing and loosening with the exercise gave me a certain feeling of pleasure. After a bit of this, I'd brought my torso down to recline full length on my leg, my chin resting on my shin just below my knee.
Then I reversed the positions of my legs and had run through the exercise again, and then...
...and then it was all over. Madame Petrova came into the room and ordered, "Get dressed. They have come for you."
I think I know what has happened and my heart starts to pound. Jaimy is back!
Madame pivots on her heel and strides to the door. I assume she is going to walk out of my life without another word, but, no, she stops with her hand on the doorknob and turns to me. "I know you tried your hardest," she says. "You could have been a dancer." With that, she leaves the room and I see her no more.
Thank you, Madame, for your instruction.
I'm halfway back into my riding habit, just cinching my skirt and buttoning my jacket, as it were, when Carr and Boyd burst into the room.
"Blimey, lads, a little privacy for a poor girl!"
"Right, right, just get it on, and let's go."
Two of the hardest caramels I've ever tried to chew, and I didn't get 'em softened even a bit. A good lesson to you, girl, that your charms do not always work wonders.
I am taken directly to Number 9 Brattle Lane. The carriage door opens and I jump out to rush up the stairs, followed closely by Carr and Boyd. Carr lifts the knocker on the door and raps for me. In a moment a girl, a servant by her dress, opens the door to admit us.
"You are expected, Miss, upstairs."
I have been in this house before and at that time I was, without ceremony, thrown out into the street by Jaimy's mother. I do not know what to expect this time, but I do not care. I will see Jaimy.
On the second-floor landing Jaimy's father, brother George, and Dr. Sebastian are gathered deep in conversation.
"Yes, it was a severe concussion, but he seems to be coming out of it," says the Doctor. "He drifts in and out of consciousness, but he is lucid for longer periods of time now than he was a week ago. I think it bodes well for his future recovery, but one never can tell with these things. We only hope for the best. I will be at your disposal to render what help I can. The primary thing is to have him rest, put cold compresses to his head, and above all, keep him still—let him not rattle his brains, as that could prove disastrous ... and what is this, now?"
Dr. Sebastian says this upon seeing my veiled self come marching up the stairs.
"Good day, Mr. Fletcher ... George," I say as I come into their midst. I pull my veil to the side. "Dr. Sebastian, it is so good to see you. May I see James Fletcher now?"
Dr. Sebastian's mouth falls open. "But ... but ... I saw you taken away ... I saw the blade rise ... and fall ... I ..."
"No, Doctor, that was not me, but if your scientific mind ever permits prayer, please offer up something for that poor girl who did die under the hissing steel that day, as I have prayed for her soul many times myself." I go up to him and put my lips to his ear and whisper, It was a ruse, Doctor. We have a very creative Intelligence Service, as you well know. Now let us get on with this.
"In here, Miss," says Mr. Fletcher, opening a door. "He has been unaware of his surroundings since he was brought from the ship this morning."
Dr. Sebastian, recovering himself from his encounter with the supposedly dead me, explains, "I gave him a sedative to keep him still on the journey. He should be coming out of it soon." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "So good to see you again, Miss."
I give the Doctor a pat on his arm as I enter, and there is Jaimy, lying still on a bed, clean sheets pulled up to his chin.
Oh, Jaimy, please wake up, please...
I go to kneel by his bedside, take his hand in mine, and look into his face while tears stream down my face and I hear as if at a distance...
"No, not her. Anyone but her! Not here. Put her out! She has turned my son against me."
"Mother, she is the reason he is here now and not in some filthy French prison. Do you not know that?" I hear Brother George say.
"I don't care. I'd rather he be lying there than have my blood mixed with hers. I will not have it! Do you hear?"
I tear my eyes from Jaimy's face and through my film of tears look into the face of his mother and the old rage rises in me again. She is sitting on the opposite side of the bed, holding his other hand as she glares at me with the purest hatred.
I look right back at her and say defiantly, "I love your son and he loves me, and I don't think there's too much you can do about that, Mrs. Fletcher. It's true that I grew up as a beggar on the streets of London and I still have what you might consider to be rough ways. But I have made my way from there to here, and I believe I deserve some respect for that." I pause and look back at Jaimy again, but see no change—he continues to sleep. "Blood? My blood mixed with yours? I learned in the past couple of years that my people were from the north of England, and my grandfather was a vicar in a church. My blood's as good as yours, but that is all by the board—I don't believe in blood, or bloodlines, or any of that nonsense. Some of the best people I have met in this life have come from the basest of origins, and some of the worst from the highest birth." I turn back to Jaimy, who is much more important to me than some bitter old biddy.
Jaimy stirs and rolls his head from side to side, and then his eyes open and all else in the room fades into insignificance.
He recognizes his old room and an expression of joy crosses his face when he realizes it might not be a dream. He sees his mother, his father, his brother ... and then he looks at me. His eyes widen in total and complete surprise and the name he says first is...
"Jacky ... I dreamed I saw you ... back where? A prison? I don't know ... where...?"
"Just hush, Jaimy, and lie back, you must rest," I say and squeeze his hand. "Oh, Jaimy, I'm so glad. I was so afraid."
"James," says his mother, "do you not know me? Please tell me you do."
"Dad? George?" he says, looking wildly about till his eyes light on Carr and Boyd with arms crossed, leaning against the wall. "Who are those men? What are they doing here?" asks Jaimy, looking from Carr to Boyd with great suspicion. He might be foggy, but he is not totally stupid.
"They are members of the Intelligence Branch of our Service, Jaimy. They are my personal escort," I explain with a rueful smile. "Do not worry. They are decent men."
"But why?" asks Jaimy, his mind not yet completely clear, I can tell. It takes a while for the tincture of opium to take leave of your brain. Poor Jaimy, soon you shall be happy to be back with your family again. I give you permission to forgive your mother.
"I must go away, Jaimy. I have made a deal."
He cuts his eyes to mine, and I know his mind is now absolutely clear. "They took you ... and you made a deal ... for me. That's why I'm home."
"Not only for you, Jaimy. There are other reasons, other people."
"I won't have it, I won't..." He tries to get up.
"Please be calm, James," begs his mother. "You must rest or you will harm yourself."
I place my hand on his chest to hold him down. "They finally caught me, Jaimy, they did, and I have many things to answer for, and now I must go where they send me."
"But where are you going?"
"Ahem!" warns Mr. Carr, behind me.
"I can't say, Jaimy. I am going away, but I will return to you, I promise, and you must vow to do your best to get well." I put on a smile, but the tears again are beginning to trail down my cheeks. "Just let me sit by your side for a bit and hold your hand."
"Ten minutes, Miss," says Carr, pulling out his pocket watch and gazing at it. "Curfew." He nods to Mr. Boyd and they both turn their backs and face the wall.
Jaimy's father comes and takes his wife by the arm. "Come, Adelaide, we must give them ten minutes alone."
"I will never! I will—" protests Mrs. Fletcher.
"Oh, yes, you will," says Mr. Fletcher. "George, escort your mother out, if you please." And he does, and Mr. Fletcher follows them out of the room with a slight bow to me.
I return a nod of thanks and turn back to Jaimy.
It looks like he might pass out again, but he does not. He struggles to speak once more, but I say, "Jaimy, please be still. All I want to do is sit here by your side while I can." I put a kiss upon his cheek. "No, no, lie quiet, it is what you must do now. You have to get well."
He lies back on the pillow and looks at me.
"Do you remember that time on the Dolphin after I was beaten and you took care of me? Do you recall that, Jaimy?"
"Yes," he says, recollecting that day. "I hated what happened to you."
I pat his hand and say, "It's all right. I got over it, and so will you."
"Jacky, I..."
"Hush now. Don't say anything more, Jaimy," I beg, tears pouring out of my eyes and onto his sheet. "Just know that I will love you forever, no matter what happens."